08/20/2026
One thing we might want to keep in mind when teaching children what "not to do"...
So often, we see someone or a family participating in a behavior that we do not want our children to do. So, we are tempted to point our children's attention to those people and say something like, "See what they are doing over there. We do not do that and here's why."
I really understand why it is so tempting to make a teaching moment out of such a situation. But, there is a better way.
It is not polite to point out the bad manners of others.
Yes, you can use that situation as a prompting to add that to your list of things that you want to discuss with your kids, but maybe tomorrow or maybe after you've had time to think about what the best way to teach your children that principle is.
We don't want to draw attention to the impolite things that others do. Why? Because that's not polite. And, it's as if we are saying, "WE don't do that because WE'RE better than them."
We don't have to use other people's bad behavior to teach or demonstrate to our children what not to do. Now with that said, there is nothing wrong with teaching a behavior then you're family getting up and role playing the right way and the wrong way so we can see it, but let's use ourselves for the demonstration and not others.
We can also ask questions like, "How would you feel if someone said "this" or "that" to you or did "this" or "that?" That's OK and often very effective.
Just remember, a lady and a gentlemen do not personally criticize others, not even to demonstrate correct principles. There's a better way to teach.
Yes, there might be an exception to this rule. But it should be rare and very thought out before engaging in pointing out other's bad behavior.
