Balanced Coaching and Consulting

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Balanced Coaching and Consulting Christian coaching, training, and development for greater steadiness, healthier relationships, and more grounded ways of living and leading.

Balanced Coaching exists to help individuals, leaders, and teams live with greater purpose, emotional resilience, and spiritual clarity. Founded by Dr. Justin Tilghman, our faith-based coaching integrates Christian values with neuroscience-informed tools to support deep personal and relational growth. We offer 1:1 coaching, group programs, workshops, and online resources—all designed to help you thrive in every area of life. Based in North Carolina, we serve clients locally and virtually across the world.

I came home from Dallas with a full brain, a grateful heart, and one question I can’t seem to shake: How do people actua...
09/14/2026

I came home from Dallas with a full brain, a grateful heart, and one question I can’t seem to shake: How do people actually become really good at helping other people?

I had an incredible few days at the AACC Mega National Conference learning, making new friends, and thinking about questions I suspect I’ll be chasing for a while.

One highlight was getting to meet Curt Thompson, MD. I’ve read and recommended Curt’s work for years, and it has deeply shaped how I think about relationships, spiritual formation, and helping people grow. Getting a few minutes with him was pretty special.

I also loved meeting Kathy Koch with Celebrate Kids, Inc. and hearing her speak. She was fantastic. If you have kids and don’t know about her, you should!

I also got to record some new coach training content with Jason VanRuler. I’ve watched Jason teach in training videos for years, so there was definitely a little “pinch me” moment when I realized I was sitting at the table with him recording a training together. 😂

Then I walked through the exhibit area and saw my face staring back at me from the AACC display for the Professional Life Coaching program. 🤯 Also a little surreal.

I’ve loved the opportunity to work with this cohort of coaches, and it’s made me increasingly curious about what actually helps someone become a wise, skillful helping professional.

We can teach skills, models, and competencies. Those matter. But there’s also something happening in the person doing the helping. Who are they becoming? How well can they stay present? How do their relationships with God, themselves, and others shape how they show up?

I don’t have that figured out. Not even close. But I’m really interested in the question.

A special thanks to my friend Kyle for inviting me into this weekend and opening some doors I won’t soon forget.

And thanks to Dr. Tim Clinton, Dr. Zach Clinton, Ben Allison, and the American Association of Christian Counselors team for creating a place where professional growth happens in a distinctly Christian environment. I’m grateful the Lord allowed me to be part of it.

So much fun, and I’m looking forward to the World Conference next fall!

Just a little encouragement today for those of you praying for loved ones or friends who don’t know the Lord, who may be...
08/13/2026

Just a little encouragement today for those of you praying for loved ones or friends who don’t know the Lord, who may be walking away from Him, or who are experiencing a relational rupture you desperately wish could be repaired:

Keep praying. Don’t grow weary.

You never know how the Lord may be working through those prayers, or how He may be weaving them into a powerful testimony.

Pray for them until you’re praying with them.

One of the hardest parts of following God is that He rarely shows us the entire journey.We want certainty.He invites tru...
08/05/2026

One of the hardest parts of following God is that He rarely shows us the entire journey.

We want certainty.

He invites trust.

We want the complete blueprint.

He gives us the next faithful step.

Throughout Scripture, God consistently worked this way.

Abraham left his homeland before he knew where he was going.

Joshua stepped into the Jordan before the waters parted.

Peter stepped out of the boat before he knew he could walk on water.

Faith has never been about having all the answers. It's about trusting the One who does.

If you're waiting until everything makes sense before you move forward, you may miss what God is asking you to do today.

Instead of asking, "God, what's the five-year plan?"

Ask, "Lord, what's the next faithful step?"

Then take it.

His grace is always sufficient for the step you're on.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." — Proverbs 3:5–6

We naturally pray for God to remove every obstacle. And sometimes He does.But often, He chooses to meet us in the challe...
08/03/2026

We naturally pray for God to remove every obstacle.
And sometimes He does.

But often, He chooses to meet us in the challenge instead of taking us around it.

Why?

Because some things can only be formed through faithful perseverance.

James reminds us that the testing of our faith produces perseverance, and perseverance shapes us into people who are mature and complete.

That doesn't mean God delights in our pain or causes every hardship. We live in a broken world where suffering is real.

But it does mean that no trial is beyond His ability to redeem.

The obstacle you're facing today may be the very place where God is teaching you deeper trust, greater dependence, and stronger faith.

So instead of asking only,
"God, when will this be over?"

Try asking,
"God, what do You want to form in me while I'm here?"

He's more committed to your character than He is to your comfort, and that's a good thing!

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." — James 1:2–4

We naturally pray for God to remove every obstacle.And sometimes He does.But often, He chooses to meet us in the challen...
08/03/2026

We naturally pray for God to remove every obstacle.

And sometimes He does.

But often, He chooses to meet us in the challenge instead of taking us around it.

Why?

Because some things can only be formed through faithful perseverance.

James reminds us that the testing of our faith produces perseverance—and perseverance shapes us into people who are mature and complete.

That doesn't mean God delights in our pain or causes every hardship. We live in a broken world where suffering is real.

But it does mean that no trial is beyond His ability to redeem.

The obstacle you're facing today may be the very place where God is teaching you deeper trust, greater dependence, and stronger faith.

So instead of asking only,

"God, when will this be over?"

Try asking,

"God, what do You want to form in me while I'm here?"

He is just as committed to your character as He is to your comfort.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." — James 1:2–4

There are seasons when we desperately want God to hand us the entire map.Instead, He often gives us just enough light fo...
07/31/2026

There are seasons when we desperately want God to hand us the entire map.
Instead, He often gives us just enough light for the next step.

That can feel frustrating. We want certainty before we move. We want guarantees before we trust. We want to know how everything will turn out before we say "yes."

But that's not how faith grows.

Throughout Scripture, God rarely revealed the whole journey. He simply invited people to trust Him one step at a time.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by the future today, don't try to solve your entire life.

Just ask:
"What is the next faithful step God is inviting me to take?"

Then take it.

Tomorrow's grace will be there tomorrow.

Today's grace is enough for today's step.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths." — Proverbs 3:5–6

How do you listen?Most of us think we're good listeners. But if we're honest, we often spend more time preparing our res...
07/29/2026

How do you listen?

Most of us think we're good listeners. But if we're honest, we often spend more time preparing our response than understanding the person in front of us.

Real connection doesn't happen simply because someone is talking. It happens when someone feels understood.

As you look through these five levels, ask yourself:

Where do I spend most of my time?

The goal isn't perfection. It's growth.

This week, challenge yourself to move just one level deeper in your conversations. Instead of listening just for facts—or waiting for your turn to speak—listen for the heart. Pay attention to what's underneath the words: the emotions, the needs, the fears, and the hopes.

You may be surprised how much it changes your relationships.

👇 Which level do you think is the easiest? Which is the hardest?

It's easy to spend our lives pouring into everyone else.Serving.Leading.Parenting.Working.Helping.But eventually, an emp...
07/28/2026

It's easy to spend our lives pouring into everyone else.

Serving.

Leading.

Parenting.

Working.

Helping.

But eventually, an empty soul has nothing left to give.

Jesus never called us to produce fruit through striving. He called us to remain connected to Him.

*"I am the vine; you are the branches... apart from me you can do nothing."* (John 15:5)

Notice the order.

First, **be with Jesus.**

Then, allow Him to renew your heart.

Only then can you pour into others from a place of overflow instead of exhaustion.

The healthiest leaders, parents, spouses, and friends aren't those who constantly give more.

They're the ones who regularly receive from Christ.

So before you ask, **"What do I need to do today?"**

Ask,

**"Have I spent time with the One who gives me life?"**

Abiding isn't another task on your to-do list.

It's the source of everything God wants to do through you.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why so many sincere Christians still feel... stuck.Not because they don't love Jes...
07/27/2026

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why so many sincere Christians still feel... stuck.

Not because they don't love Jesus.
Not because they aren't praying.
Not because they aren't trying.

And yet they still feel anxious, exhausted, discouraged, or like they're fighting the same battles over and over again.

For a long time, I assumed the answer was to try harder or become more disciplined. But over the years—as a pastor, a coach, and through my own journey—I’ve become convinced that the transformation the Holy Spirit brings usually begins beneath the surface.

Our behaviors are often the fruit.

The roots run much deeper.

That's what led me to create this free interactive workbook:

Why You Feel Stuck: The Christian's Guide to Breaking Free from the Hidden Patterns That Keep You Anxious, Exhausted, and Spiritually Stalled.

Inside, we'll explore things like:

-Why trying harder often isn't enough
-Five hidden barriers that quietly keep many Christians stuck
-How your nervous system shapes the way you experience stress, relationships, and even your spiritual life
-A simple 10-minute practice to help you slow down, reconnect with God, and respond with greater peace
-Reflection exercises and a practical 7-day challenge to help you begin putting it all into practice

I poured a lot of thought, prayer, and work into this because I genuinely hope it serves people well.

If you've been feeling stuck—or if someone comes to mind as you read this—I hope you'll take a look. My prayer is that it helps you better understand what's happening beneath the surface and encourages you to take your next faithful step toward greater freedom and flourishing.

You can download it here: https://why-you-feel-stuck.base44.app

If you know someone who could use a little hope and encouragement today, I'd be honored if you'd share this with them.

One of the biggest lies we believe is that maturity means having it all together.It doesn't.Biblical maturity isn't pret...
07/27/2026

One of the biggest lies we believe is that maturity means having it all together.

It doesn't.

Biblical maturity isn't pretending you're okay.

It's having the humility to admit when you're not.

The healthiest people I know aren't the ones who never experience anxiety, grief, temptation, or discouragement. They're the ones who have learned to bring those struggles into the light; first before God, then with trusted people.

Shame grows in secrecy.

Healing grows in honesty.

That doesn't mean sharing everything with everyone. Wisdom matters. But it does mean refusing to carry burdens that God designed us to carry together.

Who is one trusted person you could be honest with this week?

Sometimes the strongest thing you can say is,

"I need help."

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." — Galatians 6:2

Address

PO Box 262
Kinston, NC
28502

Telephone

+12526249775

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