Essential Motherhood with Lauren

10/14/2022

06/21/2022

What’s growing in your garden that’s got you excited???

Currently I’m enjoying fresh greens, basil and cilantro… but very excited to have tomatoes and blackberries on the way!

03/24/2022

😬

12/04/2021

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

12/17/2020

(Part 3/3) Postpartum and Reflections...

First of all, I am so thankful for the support I received postpartum. My amazing mom and mother-in-law, and friends that brought us meals, and of course my incredible midwife Erin. My husband of course was a huge part in taking care of me throughout the day and I am so thankful for him.

I had envisioned a very peaceful waterbirth while using my Hypobabies tools and having John and Wesley love on me and experience it all with me in our home. (and also have all of that goodness caught on camera by our birth photographer...) My birth ended up looking very different than that. Was it wrong of me to have hoped for such a specific experience? No, it wasn't. I do believe it is good for us to dream up what we want and focus on that. But on the flip side, birth is unpredictable and there is an element out of our control. After this "let down" I had to wrestle with what did happen, let go of what I wanted and embrace my unique birth story.

I was rushed to the hospital and had life saving care, do I regret having a homebirth? No, I do not regret it. First off, I LOVE midwives and homebirths and want more women to know what a great option they are. I am torn that my story might scare someone away from having one. A homebirth with a great midwife is so safe and such an amazing way to welcome your baby into the world. Our country needs more midwives to care for low risk women. Because I saw Erin for my pregnancy, I received AMAZING prenatal care in my home. She gives so much to her clients. She gave me special herbs to drink. She did body work at almost every visit (think mini massage but specific for pregnancy). And not only was her prenatal care outstanding, but she provides her clients with eight postpartum visits! Because of my situation she spent so much time with us at the hospital and sent me home with A LOT of herbal tinctures and teas to help me recover well. If I hadn't seen her for my care I wouldn't have received such amazing prenatal and postpartum care. Another reason why I do not regret a homebirth is because I do not believe in living in fear. I am passionate about natural birth and midwifery, so this was the obvious choice for me. Our apartment was 5 minutes from the hospital, so I also knew that if something did happen, we would be totally fine in getting there. (With Wesley I was transferred to the hospital from the birth center, so I knew it would be the same thing.)

Will I have a homebirth again? Sadly, if I end up having another baby, I will not be a candidate for a homebirth because I will be considered "high risk". And yes, I know I can have a natural birth inside a hospital! That will definitely be what I plan to do.

What do I want people to take away from my birth story? Hmm... I definitely don't want to my story to increase women's fear regarding childbirth. There is already too much of that. I want women to know that if they empower themselves with knowledge (a childbirth education program like Hypnobabies), and find care providers that will support them with excellent prenatal care, postpartum care, AND believe in their ability to birth their baby their way...an amazing, life changing birth story will unfold and they will have no regrets.

Birth is an amazing life event for mom and baby. I hope more and more women are awakened to their God given ability to birth their babies without unnecessary interventions. I also hope that more and more women realize that they are responsible for their birth and need to find the quality care that they deserve.

xoxo Lauren

08/31/2020

I didn’t find out for both of my babies! 😱 This author sums up some of my feelings on the subject 💗

Baby Boldy Birth bag: The fully prepared

07/19/2020

(Part 2/3 Bubble of Peace!) Afterbirth Transfer... I'm telling Erin that I don't want this to happen...to go to the hospital...just like with Wesley. As I'm telling her I can feel myself getting light headed. I'm losing blood, but that part of me is so reluctant to believe that this is really happening. My vision goes out as they take me from the house to the ambulance, but I remain conscious. They insert an IV and help me get stable.

Much is a blur of course, but after arriving and before heading to the OR they let me know they will be using general anesthesia (praise God because I had PTSD from being awake in the OR after Wesley's birth). They also told me that I had to sign a consent form that said I agreed to a “lifesaving hysterectomy” if they were unable to remove all of the placenta. That was a scary thing to hear. But what choice did I have? I signed it and surrendered it to God.

I woke up to a friendly ER nurse taking care of me. He told me I had "given them a scare" in the OR with my blood pressure dropping, but that everything went well. I was thirsty and cold. He got me ice chips and a blanket. They told me they gave me 4 units of blood and 4 units of plasma. I also had a three degree tear that was stitched up. I was grateful to be alive and have my uterus, but I was still coming to grips with the situation.

I did NOT want this outcome. I wanted a peaceful birth at home with my family, followed by an easy recovery. I felt like my body had failed me again. Having issues with the placenta detaching isn't something that happens AGAIN...but it was with me.

While in the hospital, I was supported by my amazing family, my saintly midwife Erin, and many wonderfully kind nurses. John and baby Davey were able to stay with me the whole time which was amazing. The doctor had me stay two nights which I was not happy about, but she was just doing what she felt was best. I was weak and my blood count was slowly improving.

After more than my fair share of needle pokes, bad sleep, and humbling bathroom experiences, I was able to go home and begin the healing process.

07/17/2020

Davey is 5 months old and I am just now writing up his birth story...but hey, I'm doing it! 😜

(Part 1) Davey's Birth... I was five days past due and honestly had no clue when this baby would decide to come. Wesley was so low for two weeks before she came. This baby was letting me be completely comfortable and I appreciated it. That evening my water broke. Not a gush, but a leak that didn't stop. I let my midwife know and continued on with my night and bedtime routine. I was hopeful for a good night sleep.

My pressure waves (contractions) were very mild when I went to bed. I decided to listen to my Visualize Your Birth hypnosis track and the waves started to pick up. After that track I listened to my Deepening hypnosis track and the waves started to slow down and I was able to get some rest.

When I woke up in the morning, my waves were almost nonexistent. I ate a big breakfast and was feeling a bit discouraged that things hadn't started moving. After talking with my midwife, we decided to try method to get things going that involves consuming castor oil... I had heard about it and seen mixed reviews. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and sometimes it takes two doses for it to work.

My plan was to drink the drink then listen to a hypnosis track and then after take a shower and hope that things had picked up. (Hindsight Tip: always shower first!)

I drank the drink then laid down and started my 45 minute Visualize Your Birth hypnosis track. During the track my waves went from 30ish minutes a part to 5-6 minutes a part, so I definitely knew things were picking up. Right as the 45 minute track ended I raced to the bathroom to take care of business. (Castor oil acts as a laxative for those who don't know.)

Here I am stuck on the toilet. Not fun.

Thankfully I have my phone to text my midwife that things are picking up. She tells me she will be over in 30-40min. John and Wesley are watching Star Wars and very clueless about what's going on in the bathroom. I text John to let him know he needs to get the birthing tub blown up and filled. I text my photographer to let her know she should head our direction. (continued in comments) @ Ketchum, Idaho

05/10/2020

Blessed to be these babes’ mama! 💗💗💗 “In our society, mothering is often seen as a chore — a time in our lives when we are unintellectual, and unproductive. There is, however, a radically different point of view, shared by many in other cultures, that sees mothering as a women's spiritual practice, and our babies as our teachers. We have the opportunity in mothering, as never before, to practice devotion, awareness, selflessness, and unconditional love through our daily mothering tasks. Our intellectual capacities may (or may not) be diminished, but our hearts and instincts can bloom, and we can practice the mindfulness that allows us to be totally in the present."
-- Sarah Buckley

Happy Mother’s Day! 💗💗💗💗💗

05/10/2020

• .co 💗 Being a mother is rich and complex, nuanced and heartbreaking, hopeful and healing. Motherhood finds us all in different ways. It breaks us, refines us, humbles us, transforms us.

I’ll never forget the first time I read this blog by - I felt like she captured a deep richness of motherhood that I had felt but hadn’t found the words to express. Painting a bigger picture of what motherhood truly is.

Christina first wrote this blog 3 years ago but we have updated it this year to include more complexities of being a mom.

She writes

Motherhood is sitting through that baby shower and celebrating with your mama friends. It’s bathroom floor, behind the closed door sobbing. It’s waiting for your turn.

Motherhood is waiting your entire life to meet another person who shares your genes. It’s carrying him for nine months; it’s finally gazing into his eyes that match your own and feeling like home.

Motherhood is leaving through the same hospital doors, this time with a baby nestled in your arms. It’s the warm glances from people passing by, it’s the dull ache for the baby they can’t see. It’s never knowing the easy way to answer the stranger at the grocery store when they ask how many children you have.
•
And today I feel the weight of this blog even more, as mothers of black boys hold their sons close, and grapple with fear. Mothers who have to fear their preschooler being called a racial slur, their adventurous 10-year old riding his bike around the neighborhood, their teen driving alone in his car. May we grieve with them, hold space for their place in this community, and acknowledge the hard conversations that need to be had in order for there to be lasting change.

Please take a minute to read today’s blog “We are Motherhood.” Link in bio 💛 Artwork by the lovely - Tag a women you love below 👇🏽