10/25/2017
Today is Tuesday. According to the Spiritual Laws of Success (Chopra) which I abide by, Tuesdays are dedicated to the spiritual Law of Karma. Karma means action, choices. In a nutshell, this law reminds us that life is all about choices. You are either making choices that are self nourishing and engaging you more deeply with your life or you are making choices that are self destructive and leading you towards your death.
My sister Tish died on October 1st. She was my baby sister. More importantly, she was my hero. She lived her life with one life engaging choice after another. I loved that about her! She lived on her terms, her way; choosing the adventure, like a pioneer woman she was. This was how she chose to live her life until she couldn’t anymore.
Alcoholism is a disease. It’s a disease that unfortunately robs you of your life. It has effected too many people in my family, including my parents, aunts and uncles, and sadly, my sister too. Some were able to transcend the disease, but others, like my sister Tish, were undone by it. In my opinion, it’s a disease that centers on choices; a choice to surrender and ask for help or a choice to remain in denial, powerless to the disease and unwilling to receive help.
In the midst of my grief, I realize I need to examine my choices. I am Tish’s sister, after all. I am much like her; equally susceptible to the clutches of addiction. I need to be vigilant about my choices; consciously choosing nourishment over destruction. It’s a day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath choice.
What am I choosing? How well am I taking care of myself? Where in my life do I need to make more nourishing choices? In what ways can I be kinder, more gentler with myself? These questions are my daily mantra; daily prayer. They help keep me healthy. They help me stay engaged in my life, along with my relationship to my kids and family and my daily practices of meditation, journaling, yoga and cooking. These things feed my soul.
I miss my sister desperately. I wish she were here. I wish I could hug her, tell her it will all be okay and that I love her. I wish I could of helped her get help. But you see, that’s the frustration that me and the rest of my family share. You can’t make an addict get help. They’ve got to want it. They’ve got to choose it. Tish, my sweet sister did not.
I commit to live my life in ways she could not. Death is a wake up call. I believe it is here begging us to live our life bigger, better, and more consciously. I am awake little sister. I promise you I will take better care of myself. I will ask for help if I need help. And if others are concerned, see me struggling, I promise I will listen. I will receive the help.
Rest In Peace little sister. I love you.
