The Kinetic People

“When I’m feeling emotion and energy that needs to MOVE, there’s nothing better than catharsis like an ancient Greek: using ‘art for the purging and purification of emotion’. One of the most exquisite saving graces in my life is the vibration of music washing through my being - I find those moments powerful, cleansing, even holy.

During an intense period of lead-bellied grief in my life, I found solace in “New Song” by Maggie Rogers. Swaying in my kitchen, singing in my car, the clever blend of harmony alludes to crying, the expert lyrics interpret in layers, the brilliant repetition crescendos to powerful release. The most potent part of the song for me is a long harmonic chorus of “And I don’t mind it,” repeated over and over (...and over and over.)

Question: If they “don’t mind it’,” why are they singing about it so much? And what IS it that they “don’t mind” - the melancholic grief or the fresh new beginning? I’ve realized it’s both, and I’m forever grateful for the way this song mirrored the complexity of my own grief at the time. I can’t tell you the hundreds of times this song washed through me, nudging my grief toward relief - a welcome catharsis indeed.”

-Alaina Jo Chatterley, LCSW

“I love music. I search for just the right song(s) for my current mood. Music has helped me tap into my emotions more deeply. I often take long walks to clear my head, reset, or jump-start my day, and I have a soundtrack to accompany me.

I struggled to figure out how to support a loved one dealing with a mental health crisis. I started to create a playlist aptly titled “sad songs” and continue to add to it. While the crisis has passed, the journey takes its twists and turns. It feels like self-care for me when I allow myself a good cry when the lyrics “speak to me.” I feel connected and less alone, as if someone “understands me.”

There are many artists that have the ability to evoke emotional reactions in me. One in particular that I listened to over and over while my family member was struggling and is my “go to” when I need to tap into those deep emotions is Tom Walker. There are two songs in particular.

Wait for You. “I know it’s hard for you to talk; bear your soul and open up; I will wait for you. I can’t pretend to understand, I’ll be here to hold your hand.”

Leave a Light On. “If you look into the distance, there’s a house upon the hill, Guiding like a lighthouse to a place where you’ll be safe. To feel at grace ‘cause we’ve all made mistakes, If you’ve lost your way, I will leave the light on. Tell me what’s been happening, what’s been on your mind; lately you’ve been searching for a darker place To hide, that’s alright...”

I would listen to these over and over, and the sadness and sense of isolation are palpable in the lyrics. They resonated with me and helped me attune to the deep pain and depression my loved one struggled with. I didn’t know what a “safe container” was, but I knew I had to find a way to be a safe place for my loved one and to show up differently for them. Metaphorically and literally, I would “wait for them” and the light would always be on for them to come “home” to a safe place.”

-Barbara

Barbara Lang Deschutes Wilderness Therapy