12/07/2023
We haven't had a discussion in a while. Sometimes it might seem that too much discussion of the dark side takes the joy out of practice, but the flip side of what's "over the line" is what's on the right side. Exploring what's on either side - and why - helps define where that line is, that is, lines between hard training and abuse, joking and harassment, respect and lack of consent, etc. In that light, I want to present an amusing incident from class a couple of days ago. I think it was fine, but would like help articulating why it was OK vs what would have made it not OK. Or maybe I was just wrong. Let me know what you think!
So our chief instructor was away and I had covered the first, open hand part of class. Another senior, F, was teaching the weapons part of class. While I was training with D, an older but more junior student, doing jo maki otoshi, F came over and said I needed to drop the tip of my jo more or I'd be losing 6-8 inches. I saw a brief glimmer of awkwardness pass his face as he heard himself say "6-8 inches" so I said, "You wouldn't want to lose 6-8 inches!" We both cracked up at the juvenile humor. D looked befuddled, and we continued training.
As I was driving home, I thought about whether "dirty jokes" were ever OK on the mat. To me, this was clearly far different than, say, a shihan (or anyone) calling women up for ukemi, piling them on top of each other in front of the class then patting the top butt and saying, "this is where I like them." So where's the line? When is a joke just a joke?
Janice
