02/19/2026
I just read an article that hit me hard, because it reflects exactly what I see every day as a BCBA.
When I communicate with my clients’ families, about 97% of the time it’s the mom. Only about 3% of the time is it the dad. And yes — huge respect to the dads who are involved. But the reality is that mothers carry the overwhelming share of the time, labor, and emotional load when raising a child with significant support needs.
The financial impact is enormous and lifelong.
Autism moms often lose years — sometimes decades — of earning potential. And on top of that, research shows they face higher divorce rates, which only deepens the financial strain as they move toward retirement.
Meanwhile, the support available to them is… honestly, pretty pathetic.
These women are doing heroic work with almost no safety net. It’s time their voices are heard, and it’s time the system stops relying on their unpaid labor to hold everything together.
Here’s the article:
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/16TMvpKq3i/
Last Fall I received a call asking if I would be interested in putting my hat in the ring for a seat on IACC. My first response was to feel honored. My second response was, “How could I? I can’t leave my daughters nor can I afford the travel.” Time and money. I did submit a resume, and was not ultimately chosen. I felt relief. That surprised me.
There’s been a Tik Tok video social media post circulating that reminds folks that the majority of the work in our community has been borne by women who did it for little or no pay. Basically it says the autism world would collapse without Moms stepping in everywhere. After having quit or greatly reduced their paid work. Where’s the lie? Blogs. Books. Conference speakers. Booth staff. Rescue Angels. TACA Team outreach. Organization President. Yahoo groups (going back 25 years.) Free. Caretakers. Therapists for every modality. Communication partners. Teachers. Administrative managers.Behaviorists. IEP writers. Dieticians. 3 shift group home hours. Zero pay. Autism created a kitchen table industry that has gutted a generation of women’s earnings.
I put forth the following to IACC as a first proposal. Women whose social security hours were gutted by autism will pay dearly in “retirement” which we will never have. A spousal benefit shrinks when he dies. Give women full 40 hour Social Security work week credits for every week after their child went onto to SSI at 18. SSI is provable total disability. Acknowledge the lost income, forfeited retirement benefits and honor the sacrifice.
Yes, men also suffer economic losses. Some are the stay at home. Maybe they had to turn down a transfer or promotion because of needs at home. But overall, autism caretaking is a majority pink collar ghetto. And that's my focus.
Add your thoughts. Kim
