The Poly Advisor

(Pass it on.) This is FALSE.

“I’m poly” isn’t:
a loophole.
retroactive permission.
something you announce after someone feels hurt.

Cheating is:
acting without consent.
changing the rules mid-game.
hiding behind labels instead of having hard conversations.

Polyamory is:
based on consent.
agreements made before action and then honoring them.
taking responsibility for your impact, not just intent.

Bottom line:
Using “I’m poly” to excuse harm isn’t honesty. It’s avoidance wearing a costume.

IMAGINE THIS: Your best friend calls and says, “My partner wants to open our relationship.”

You want to be helpful.
What’s the first bit of advice you share?

SOMETHING TO REMEMBER: In polyamory, their interest isn’t your trophy. It’s just a spark. You decide if it lights a fire or burns itself out trying to reach you.

DO THEY THINK YOU’RE INTIMIDATING?

You’re not intimidating. They’re intimidated. There’s a difference.

You’re not mean or aggressive.
You’re honest, assertive, and that makes them uncomfortable.

Just remember, it’s not YOU that makes them uncomfortable. Your PRESENCE challenges their comfort.

Tell them, “I will not be less for you to feel better about yourself.”

Do your co-workers know about you being polyamorous?

PASS IT ON: the greatest gift we can givr to another person is simple: to listen.

I am convinced that many people suffer because they feel unheard. They are starved for someone to say things like:

I hear you.
I feel you.
You’re not crazy.
You’re not alone.

This weekend, try and give that gift to someone. Try saying one of those things to someone and watch their eyes fill with light.

It’s not romantic. It’s not s*xy. It’s not going to make the front page.

But it could change someone’s life.

Living your polyamorous life can feel daunting at times. There are so many people ready to judge you, your choices, and your relationships.

Have you felt this way?

If so, please know you are loved and appreciated. Don’t let others dim your light.

My favorite s*x position is when I get treated like a priority instead of an option. That’s the post.

MEN,

A 2022 study* shows the more chores a man does, the higher his partner’s s*x drive.

Grab a sponge and start doing the dishes WITHOUT BEING ASKED.

* Not making it up: “Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower S*xual Desire in Women Partnered with Men.” Arch S*x Behav 51, 3847–3870