Dr. Kim Swales

We can all use this reminder over the summer. Children develop their self concept partially through their interactions with others. Make sure you’re contributing in the most positive way you can.

I’m so thankful for the community we’ve built here. With so much pain and sadness in the world, I hope everyone has some time today to reflect on the blessings in their life. Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving 🍁

It’s not your job to argue with your child whether something is fair or not. You have different perspectives and it won’t accomplish anything. You’ll likely never convince them and it doesn’t matter. What they’re really communicating is, “I don’t like this.” So saying something like, “Life isn’t fair” feels very invalidating and frustrating to them and often escalates emotions. Take a minute to understand their perspective. You don’t change course, but you listen to their feelings. I never debate fairness with my kids. I try to get them to accept that it’s ok to feel disappointed when things don’t go the way they’d like. Then we move on. Let me know your thoughts and questions in the comments. And feel free to share. I love if you tag me when you share.

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Great summer date ideas from

I saw this yesterday and quickly screen shot it but now can’t find the original source. It was attributed to the person’s therapist and I couldn’t agree more. This is another one of those things I am constantly working on with my clients. We take so much personally that isn’t personal at all. I’ve got a graphic here that says that here too! If anyone knows the source, please let me know in comments, I always like to cite them. I think it was a reel.

I see this every single day. I used to do it too. Worrying does not change a situation or an outcome but people tell themselves a lie that it does. Action is a great antidote to anxiety but worry feeds it. Tell yourself a new story. I know that this alone is not a cure for anxiety but changing your thought patterns will help your feelings and behaviors. It’s a great place to start. Start to challenge yourself by asking… Is this worry productive or destructive? Will this worry change the situation? Is there an action I can take instead that might help this situation?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments and please feel free to share.

I work with my clients on this every single day but sometimes I forget to look inward myself. I went to a retreat this weekend and was reminded to always look at the lesson FOR US. Sometimes we are too busy complaining about the other person or judging. If you don’t learn the lesson, you’ll keep going through difficult things until you do. I know after 30 years in this career this is true.

I don’t think bad things happen to us as punishment or that we bring on all the difficulties in life. I just think we need to grow in the midst of them.

This may be the most important post I write. I don’t know the young man who died but this could be any teen who is feeling alone right now. Teens are struggling to fit in. They’re struggling to figure out who they are. It’s brutal. The comparison and bullying both on social media and in schools is so prevalent. Parents worry about grades and sports and college acceptances and while those things matter, none of it matters more than kindness. Spend your energy teaching your kids to be kind to others. You can model this by treating others with compassion and kindness, not excluding people because they are different. Invest in getting to know people who struggle and teach your kids that it’s the right thing to do. It may just save a life.

I’ve chosen not to share the identity of the young man as I don’t know the family. But I hope their message saves others lives.

*If you or someone you know has thoughts of su***de, please dial 988 for help.*

***deprevention ***deawarness ***deprevention

Starting your day this way will make a profound difference in your life. Most people immediately look at their phone upon waking. The better thing to do is go to a window or step outside and get natural light for just a few minutes. It helps your brain regulate a healthy sleep-wake cycle and can boost your mood. Start the day with meaningful intentions like gratitude, focus and letting go of things that you cannot control. These practices are even more impactful if you write them down.

A friend shared these with me at the beginning of the year. She heard something similar on a radio talk show. I know them to be true as really great daily practices.

Share your thoughts in the comments please.

Always my favorite reflection this time of year. I got pretty sick in the middle of a family vacation (the first in 5 or 6 years) and was sick through Christmas. It was not the best way to end 2022 but I’m keeping my focus on the present and the future. Take time to find joy in the little things around you right now. If you pause to look for them, you’ll see them more often. Wishing you all a happy, healthy new year. And thank you for joining me here. I’m so grateful. 💙

If you feel comfortable, I’d love to hear one thing you’re grateful for today in the comments!