SaneDivorce

Not an easy issue. Whatever you are struggling with it cannot hurt to come in together as a couple. Call for a free consultation today.

8 Reasons People Cheat Scientists revisit why people cheat and uncover some interesting findings.

Putting an End to the Blame Game By Alicia Muñoz - Giving up being right doesn’t mean you give up your convictions. It means honoring a multiplicity of viewpoints. Rumi says, “Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a garden. I will meet you there.” For couples, this garden is their relationship.

Great article!

Post Divorce: 3 Keys to Letting Go and Moving On - Moving Past Divorce | Counseling, Consulting & Seminars (RI & MA) By Karen McMahon The season of divorce often feels like we are living on a battlefield as we avoid explosive

The New Jersey Collaborative Law Group creates conditions conducive to divorce settlements obtained without resorting to often costly, sometimes demeaning litigation, which are equitable and amicable for both parties. We do so through the use of:

- A Collaborative Participation Agreement in which the divorcing couple concurs.

- A Collaborative Team of attorneys, mental health professionals, financial consultants, and other specialists that ease the married partners’ legal disengagement, with a minimum of strain and disruption to their emotional and financial well-being, and that of any children.

New Jersey Collaborative Law Group Educating, connecting, & transforming divorce with the Collaborative approach.

Here is a great list of books for the family to read about divorce .

Mom’s House, Dad’s House: A Complete Guide for Parents who are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried. Isolina Ricci. This is a personal favorite

The Best Parent is Both Parents: A Guide to Shared Parenting in the 21st Century. David L.Levy.

The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce. Richard A. Gardener.

Divorce Happens to the Nicest Kids: A Self Help Book for Kids. Michael S. Prokop.

It’s Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents & Young Children During Divorce. Vicki Lansky. (This is for young children)

My Life Turned Upside Down, But I Turned it Rightside Up. Mary Blitzer Field, Henny Shore.

My Parents Still Love Me Even Though They’re Getting Divorced: An Interactive Tale for Children. Lois V. Nightingale.

In spite of all the hard work we as psychologists do to help save marriages,sometimes, it just is not enough. Because maintaining sanity during divorce is challenging a divorce coach is needed. Children are affected greatly, with lasting effects. I can help couples make decisions on whether they want to stay married and if they decide to part, to do it in a respectful manner. I am a trained psychologist and mediator and work to help the couples and their family move forward with dignity.

THE SANE DIVORCE: FINDING YOURSELF WITHOUT LOSING YOUR MIND

Stop the Pain for everyone involved. Use a Divorce Coach.

I am Dr. Laura DeMarzo, psychologist and certified divorce coach. With decades of counseling experience dealing with families and marriages in conflict, I will work collaboratively and respectfully with the parties resulting in resolution of your issues. I can help.

“How do I know if I need a Divorce Coach?”
• You have trouble sleeping because you can't get the rage or hurt out of your mind.
• You want to minimize the damage on the children’s lives.
• You are having difficulty addressing your spouse in constructive ways.
• When you see your spouse's caller id on your phone you feel as if you got punched in the stomach.
“What is a Divorce Coach? “
• A Psychologist or Mental Health Professional certified in mediation and collaborative divorce working in partnership with the parties to achieve desired outcomes.
• A Divorce Coach enables the client to deal and cope with the strong emotions that may get in the way of good decision-making.
• Works collaboratively with all parties including attorneys/mediators.
• Goals are established, facilitated and achieved in a professional and respectful manner.
• As your divorce coach, I will guide you, step by step, through the rocky waters of separation and divorce - which can save you time, money and emotional pain.
As your Divorce Coach I will help you to:
• Minimize negative effects upon your family and children.
• Learn skills to overcome obstacles.
• Focus on desired outcomes.
• Establish “your voice” in the process of resolution.
• Accomplish your goals of living peacefully and moving forward with a positive attitude rather than dwell or rehash the past.
• Understand that strong emotions are a normal part of the process, and I will teach you how to better cope.
• Avoid escalating legal fees, which occur when your emotions get in the way of resolution.
Call Dr. Laura DeMarzo, Ed.D. Psychologist, Certified Divorce Coach (908) 431-9200 or Cell (908) 642-0258 491 Amwell Road Suite 103, Hillsborough NJ 08844 205 Ridgedale Avenue Florham Park NJ 07932 4475 Route 27 Princeton NJ 08528

SaneDivorce.net I can help your family move forward with less pain and expense.

10 Tips for a Sane Divorce: Five for You, Five for Me

By Micki McWade
•
Maintaining sanity during divorce, while large waves of unpredictable and conflicting emotions rise and fall, is an enormous personal challenge. Remaining sane and grounded, however, is our adult responsibility regardless of the temptation to think and act otherwise. Children need their parents more than ever and work responsibilities continue. The definition of, and suggestions for maintaining sanity during a divorce differ, depending on whether you are the initiator of the divorce or the one who is left. The emotional state and perspectives are quite different. Here are some suggestions for each perspective.
FOR THE INITIATOR:

1. Realize that you are further along emotionally than your spouse. Usually the initiating spouse has considered this decision for some time before the announcement is made to his or her spouse.
2. Remember that rejection is always a negative experience. Even though there may have been discussion about the marriage not working well, hope for future improvement is usually present and the initial announcement of divorce is experienced as a shock.
3. Anticipate change. Your spouse will have his or her own needs, so no one gets everything she or he wants. The expectation that life will be the same after divorce, with the exception of your spouse being gone, is unrealistic. For longer marriages, property will be divided and the children’s time will be shared with the other parent. Children will have their own surprising reactions.
4. Expect conflicting emotions. Divorce is a huge life transition with surprises all along the way. Even if you are the one who wants the divorce, feelings of loss are inevitable. Those who are already seeing another person may not realize this at first but unraveling a significant relationship is painful.
5. Allow your children to adjust to the separation for at least a year before introducing them to a new partner. Introducing someone new before the separation agreement is signed can wreak havoc in divorce negotiations and will be painful for the children. Your happiness about the new person does not mean the kids will be happy about it.
FOR THE NON-INITIATOR:. Understand that your spouse has had time to adjust to the idea of divorce, having thought about it long before the announcement was made. You may wonder how he or she could be okay when you feel so badly. You will improve in time too.
2. Be aware that men and women do divorce differently. Men are pragmatic. They are usually bottom-line focused and go for the best deal they can get. Women experience the settlement as an indication of their worth to their husband or partner. They are often shocked and hurt by their partner’s proposals. Women are naturally more communal and their instinct is usually inclusive, while in the case of divorce, men can be exclusive.
3. Focus on yourself and avoid (as much as you can) getting wrapped up in wondering about how your mate is doing, what she’s saying, who he’s with, etc. This will lead to feelings of victimization and depression. Focus instead on what you can do for yourself and your children. Read a book, listen to music, exercise, read stories to your kids, volunteer for an organization, Don’t isolate yourself. Join groups that interest you. Gain independent experience, try new things.
4. Remember that your children need you. They still need a functional parent even if you are very upset. Tell them your upset is temporary and you will feel better soon. That will give them hope that the future will be better. Take care of yourself and find support. Call your local churches to find a divorce support group. Read supportive literature.
5. Try not to speak badly of the parent who left. A common misconception is that the one who left the home left both the spouse and the children. That’s not usually an accurate interpretation and hurts the children. He or she has left the marriage, not the kids and in fact, not their spouse entirely. The relationship has changed but a co-parenting relationship will go on forever.Download
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Micki McWade
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Micki McWade (@MickiMcWade) | Twitter The latest Tweets from Micki McWade (). I help people divorce with sanity and protect their children. Huff Post Blogger. YourTango Blogger. Psychotherapist, Collaborative Divorce Coach. NY Metro