David and Susan Adopting

The kind of parents we want to be

We had a truly special visit from my parents this past weekend. They came over Saturday afternoon, and we (mostly David) made them brunch, from pancakes to turkey bacon to orange juice. Dad and Mom watched _Miracle on 34th Street_ (in the original black-and-white ["Hello? Why, we'd *love* to have Santy Claus come and stay with us. I think it would be sim-ply chaaaaarming!"]), because it's my Dad's favorite movie and because the pancakes were taking longer than we'd anticipated. Sheetz provided fresh coffee and chocolate milkshake, and the kitties provided entertainment value. (Lily finally heard "off the table," so she settled for a chair.)

We were finally able to show them our Parentfinder profile and blog (https://davidandsusan-adoption.parentfinder.com), which is the way that an expectant or birth mother and father will be introduced to us. The profile is really just a concatenation of the various parts of our Life Book, and the blog is really just the posts from here, copied over to there, but it's significant, because it's an easy-to-follow format, and it's really all that person/those people will see when considering us, at least at first.

Those of you who have been spending your hope on us regarding this process, we know it's been 5 years, but please keep hoping. We appreciate it and you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VPYaQNKrI8

David and I recently attended the Family Fall Festival, a yearly event hosted by our adoption agency. Both families brought together by adoption and hopeful adoptive parents are encouraged to attend, so the vibe is one of frenetic energy (the already-adopted children running around in play) and longing. There's a vibrant and very prominent transracial adoption community, the acronym for which I've forgotten, because it's new. (Should we be so blessed, we look forward to joining this positive, friendly group.)

This was the first year that the event was held as late as late October (as long as we've been attending, anyway). It was the first "come dressed in costume, if you like" event since we joined the Domestic Infant Adoption program, too. I had recently found my sister's old "Dracula" cape, and (thank you Michael's!) I was able to find an inexpensive set of vampire teeth and a headband-equipped fascinator. I put on my normal makeup, which is paler than I am, despite being the closest I can find to my skin tone. David wore our church's recent "Micah Challenge" T-shirt, being in the no-thanks-to-costumes kind of mood.

Among other joys, we were able to see our original social worker, who has since moved out of the area, and we met another hopeful adoptive couple and traded recipes, as it were.

It was a crisp, beautiful day in autumn, what a fall festival should be.

Yesterday, David and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary. It began ordinarily enough. As part of my morning ritual, after my ablutions, I woke him with kisses and wished him a good day. We knew we would be spending the evening together, so we exchanged nothing else than "Happy Anniversary" then.

After work, I changed my shirt, because we were to be dining at Travinia in Leesburg, and I just knew I was going to spill red sauce on myself. David had wanted to have dinner there since he heard about their linguine carbonara. (They don't just serve it piping hot. They bring a quarter cheese wheel [still round, just quarter-sized] to the table with a bowl carved in the center, and then they pour the pasta into the wheel. Then commences a thorough stirring, and the cheese melts into the pasta. If David hadn't had a thing for carbonara *before*...) Our server Steven (Stephen?) was amazingly attentive without hovering. He treated us so well, we wanted for nothing the entire time.

We talked about how the adoption is going, how we felt about the wait (over 5 years, now), and added to our plans for the future. We talked about the house into which we will someday move. We talked about Star Wars (as you do). We held hands. Then we opened prezzies. Most of what I got him was really for us. How do you separate your possessions out after so long? Would we want to, even if we could? I wrote in his card a poem modeled after a 6-line poem he wrote me when we were dating, updated for our current selves. It felt good to write poetry again. It was such a part of our courtship, I am surprised at how many years it's been since we've shared our writing with each other.

The manager comped our dessert for the occasion, and we left full and happy. I called my Dad when we got home, and we dished about what a great evening it had been, and he and my Mom wished us Happy Anniversary and conveyed their love.

Finally, I fell asleep next to him (with a kitty between us) to the sounds of the movie _Serenity_. (I always fall asleep before he does. We're on pretty different schedules, actually, something that I think will really come in handy when we have a newborn.) A nice anniversary. A really nice day.

David and I spent the last few days with my father’s family in Indiana, and I haven’t seen some folks in years. Some I’d never met until Saturday. I’ve learned so much about my relatives. I learned on Saturday that all nine children of my cousin Erik are adopted. He’s been kind enough to answer any questions we might have. There’s so much to know, to learn. David and I have been on this journey for years, now, and we learn and share new things every day.

Thanks, Erik. Inspiration for the journey, in an unexpected place. (Here's some Styx, for old time's sake.)

Mr Roboto - Styx Mr Roboto - StyxLyrics :Domo arigato, Mr. RobotoMata au hima deDomo arigato, Mr. RobotoHimitsu o shiri taiYou're wondering who I am (Secret secret, I've got ...

We are lucky to have wonderful friends and family, both blood and chosen. This weekend, we were able to visit some of our best friends, our godson, and our goddaughter, her beau, and her baby (The Cutest Baby Ever). While we are waiting for an expecting mother to choose us, it is good to be reminded of the joy at the end of the long road.

So, apparently *both* Susan and I thought we’d posted the actual link to our adoption video (as a companion to our lifebook, it helps give prospective mothers/couples a sense of who we are)... and then either we hadn’t or Facebook gremlins ate it.

Either way, here we are, on the YouTubez.

Adoption Profile Videos- Meet David and Susan Meet David and Susan. They are looking forward to adopting a child. You can learn more about them by viewing their profile here: https://www.parentfinder.co...

Practicing...

"The red rose whispers of passion,
And the white rose breathes of love;
O, the red rose is a falcon,
And the white rose is a dove.

But I send you a cream-white rosebud
With a flush on its petal tips;
For the love that is purest and sweetest
Has a kiss of desire on the lips."

- The White Rose, John Boyle O'Reilly

Thanks to Ronnie Lee Bailey for the paintings and thanks to Gabrielle Cardinal Cordle for the beautiful calligraphy. Susan and I surprised each other early on that we not only both knew the poem, but both loved it, so the flowers have been important to us throughout our relationship.

One of the realities about our situation is that we have no idea right now about the ethnicity of a child we’ll adopt in the future. Articles like this are continuing to inform the discussions we’ve had and go on having. They are hard, but we’re not going to shy away from working *hard* for what a child will need from us.

'The Talk': Discussing Race and the Police with Black Children Adoptee Chad Goller-Sojourner explains 'the Talk'—what white parents who adopt Black children must tell them about racism, the police, and staying safe.