Advice From Yours Truly

Captain’s Log: Day 58 of Sunmer Break

We have reached the point in the summer where my kids are literally pulling teeth out from each other‘s teeth and the only place we want be outside is at the pool. Quite literally, Charlotte had a random stuffed rose in her mouth this morning that Hank thought would be funny to pull out but along with it came Charlotte’s top tooth. I wasn’t standing there to witness it so all I heard was “Henry pulled my front tooth out and it wasn’t even wiggly”. Lots of blood and paper towel later, Charlotte finally calm down and Henry’s only response was that it was an “accident”. Is this real life?

For the most part, days that are just spent at home are more frustrating than days when we go out. I have been trying to find morning activities for us so the kids can still have lunch at home to save money on eating out or having to pack a picnic lunch and then quiet time remains my favorite time of the day. It still shocks me sometimes that my older two don’t fight it but I think it proves the point that at the core of most people, everyone enjoys some downtime. There are entire cultures that shut down midday, like in Spain, so that everyone can rest in the middle of the day to energize for the ladder half.

Yesterday commenced our VBS run and the completion of the 7th VBS the children have participated in. The last two were a bit harder to convince them to go to, but once they were there, they all had a blast! I’m so thankful for the countless volunteers who have given of their time and energy to love on our kids and teach them about Jesus. It’s been a blessing for them and a huge blessing for Johnny and I.

I have completed 95% of the kids school shopping mainly to beat the crowds, ensure that I can find what I need but also as an encouragement that one day they will return to school and my days will be a bit quieter. Don’t get me wrong, I do love the slower pace of the summer and spending quality time with our kids but I could do without the screaming, fighting, crying, whining, breaking things, endless snacks and meals, and of course, children pulling each other‘s teeth out “by accident”. 

I find having something fun to look forward to and a change of scenery helps with breaking up the day to day so we’re taking the kids to the Dallas area for a few days at the end of July/beginning of August as a last adventure before we switch to school mode. Not going up north this year has been a bit hard but I think it was the right decision to have a local summer and skip that long, long drive.

To all my other mom friends who are also ebbing between trying to wear your kids out and letting them be bored, try to remember that one day your kids will be grown and you’ll miss the days of pool time, library events, VBS’ and adventures with your littles so don’t wish it all away - just the screaming, fighting, crying, whining, breaking things, endless snacks and meals, and of course, children pulling each other‘s teeth out “by accident”.

Picture of Charlotte’s new smile with her missing top tooth!

Captains Log: Day 36 of Summer Break

We have now completed 5 of the 7 VBS’ that my kids are doing this summer and I still stand by my initial assessment that these VBS’ are INCREDIBLE! My kids have loved going and I’ve loved having a few hours to re-group! Johnny and I have enjoyed a few date nights in town which include quiet dinners of no yelling and movie nights at home with treats that a kid isn’t trying to steal from us!

I have had a few breakdown moments, including some tears, but overall I’m enjoying my time with the kids. I have been purposeful in trying to get to bed early and have slower mornings. I’ve continued my daily workouts followed by a hot cup of coffee on the porch before the chaos goes into full force.

I’m up to 4 FULL trash bags of toys that my kids didn’t want to pick up and little by little the messes aren’t as bad because they have less toys to make messes with. Once they go back to school, I’ll sort it all back out but for now my closet looks ridiculous.

I was lamenting to my mother in law about one of my children’s behavior and she suggested I implement a new system. Since we have access to a pool this summer, every infraction results in an ongoing list of “time out minutes” of pool time. I could just have kept a tally of minutes for each kid but for the sake of sharing it on here, I included a list of some of their infractions:

1 minute - Maddie, Henry, Charlotte - unbuckling early

2 minutes - Charlotte pinching Maddie

1 minutes - James not buckling

5 minutes - Henry hitting James at Gaga’s

2 minutes - Henry spitting on James

1 minute - James spitting back

Even if you don’t have access to a pool, I think this would work in any situation where your kids would be forced to watch other kids have fun while they sit out like the splash pad, park, movie nights, etc.

Since the days are getting hotter, I try to plan for a morning activity then lunch and quiet time from 12:30-2. At 2, the kids are required to unload the dishwasher and clean the living room, dining room and den before I let them watch some TV. You may know from my previous posts that we don’t do a lot of tv in our house, especially when they’re in school but when it’s a billion degrees outside, I’ve found letting them have some tv time in the afternoon before dinner has helped motivate them to clean first and also reduced fighting. We’ve done the occasional game, craft or puzzle instead but since tv is a privilege for them, they thoroughly have enjoyed the bit of tv they’ve gotten.

My last hack is to add popsicles or freeze pops on your Walmart list and keep a good supply of them in the freezer. It’s been another use of motivation to clean or behave and since they have to eat them outside, it usually results in them staying outside and playing for a while. They’re much cheaper than fruit snacks and help cool them down a bit on these hot days!

Captains Log: Day 16 of Summer Break

Just past two weeks in and I’m already up to 2 trash bags full of toys picked up from floors that kids didn’t want to clean. I made it clear what would happen if they didn’t clean but by the shocked looks on their faces, it’s clear they didn’t believe me. They know that they’ll have the opportunity to earn daddy bucks doing chores and buy their items back, one for one, otherwise they’ll stay in time-out until they return to school and in the meantime, my husband will just have to put up with the bags in his closet.

This summer, I’m doing something I’ve never done before and it’s had a very positive effect on my mental heath! Usually my kids only participate in the VBS at our church but this year I started by signing them up for one at First Baptist and it’s been incredible! All 4 of our kids have gone from 5:30-8:45 Sunday-Thursday this week and they serve them a light dinner so I haven’t had to cook big meals. Johnny and I have gotten some much needed time alone, especially myself after being at home with them all day and the best part is that our kids are having a blast making friends, having fun and learning about Jesus! Did I mention it’s FREE🤯?!? How did I not know about this sooner? They are now signed up for 5 different VBS’ and I’m still on the lookout for more😄

My other hacks this summer include:

Required chores completed before TV or tables: the kids aren’t allowed to watch any tv or play on iPads until they’ve finished the small chore list I give them the day before. An example is the one basket of laundry I asked the girls to put away which took them 3 days of no tv watching before Maddie finally paid Charlotte 5 Daddy Bucks to do.

Quiet Time: all 4 of our kids are required to have quiet time from 12-2 every day. Only James naps occasionally so it’s not necessary for sleeping although they’re welcome to do that if they want but the main purpose is to have some time to do quiet activities like reading, Legos, puzzles, magnatiles, etc. For the most part, I let the boys be together in their room and the girls together in theirs but if it’s been a morning of a lot of bickering, I separate them into 4 different areas of the house. Ironically, none of our children really fight or whine about it which proves to me that they also like the time to slow down and reset.

Find morning activities: since we have quiet time 12-2, I really aim to wear them out in the morning. We love the free activities that the library offers and since we’re close to a few different libraries, I’ve added several different things to our calendar although my go-to will be swimming at a relatives pool. If you’re able to make plans ahead of time, inviting friends makes outings even better because in my experience, my kids fight less with other kids around and I like having a friend to chat with.

I have other hacks I’ll share in my next post but I’m curious on some of your hacks to not only survive the summer but genuinely enjoy the time to slow down, make memories and have fun with your kids?

Better late than never…

All 4 of our kids had one of these frames on their registries before they were born and all 3 of our older children had their photos in their frames and on display for their first birthdays but life got busy…and 4 years later I’m happy to report that James’ frame is finally completed and up!

I’ve heard mom lament that their babies don’t have baby books and my encouragement to you is to keep chipping away at it. When I was little, baby albums required pictures being taken on film, then developed, then pasted into a scrapbook and sometimes dates and locations remembered to put beside photos. I was kid 3 out of 4 so although I have about half a baby book of photos, I’m glad I have something. My older brother of course has like 2 full books and my older sister a complete book but with each kid, life gets busier.

For my kiddos, I wrote a monthly update on the anniversary of their birth every month with the same stickers on different backdrops and used the same bear for size comparison every month. Those updates became the “meat” of their baby books which I made on Shutterfly. I also included photos from their “firsts” including holidays, bath, haircut and other random milestones. Already having all that together on FB made it very easy to put together their baby books and I made it my mission to complete one kids book before the next sibling was born.

I tried to do a fancy scrapbook for Maddie but it took way too long and wasn’t sustainable in the busyness of motherhood. If Shutterfly isn’t your thing, a baby book can be as easy as printing off the photos from the first year and slipping them into an album. It doesn’t have to be fancy but I guarantee that you’ll be glad you did it years from now when your babies aren’t babies anymore and you’re looking for photos for their graduation, showing their significant others, wedding, etc. Your kids will also be glad you took the time to put something together for them of their first year of life.

Aside from their baby books, I try to make a family album for each year that includes trips, birthdays, awards, celebrations, etc for our entire family. Admittedly, I’m a bit behind on it but it’s one of those things that I keep chipping away at and I’m determined to catch back up!

Since James was the last and there wasn’t another baby coming on his heels (or ever), some of those projects have taken longer but they are not forgotten and I am glad to check this frame off his list today.

Feel free to share any tips or tricks you have used that have helped you to get projects like these finished😉

Say it a little louder for the people in the back😉

This Christmas, I decided I wanted to start a new tradition for my kids. I have a friend who has a small ornament framed photo of her kids every single Christmas with Santa. I have always loved that idea but I’m not a huge Santa person. Some years we’ve gotten photos with him and some years we haven’t. I knew there would be gaps in the years so that tradition wouldn’t work for me so instead I decided to start a collection of ornaments for my kiddos that represented that year.

I bought each kid a pretty Christmas box from Hobby Lobby and bought most of the ornaments from Temu. My thought was that they could decorate the little trees in the bedrooms with their ornaments and one day when they move out, they’ll have their own box of ornaments from their childhood to decorate with.

It was pretty easy to go back for each year because their birthday theme is usually their favorite item/show/character of that year. I also saved all my kids binky’s in a bag and haven’t known what to do with them but I felt sentimentally attached to them. I decided to string their most often used binky’s with Christmas string and put it in their boxes as well. I went back through old photos to make sure I was putting the right binky in the right kids box. I wasn’t prepared to get emotional while I was working on this project but I did end up wiping away a tear or two thinking about how big my babies are now and how sweet the stage was when they had binky’s attached to them day & night to soothe themselves in the car or to sleep. I’m glad they’ll be repurposed now and one day my kids will show their kids how well loved their binky’s were.

Here are just a few of the photos I found with their corresponding binky as well as the random assortment of ornaments I ordered from Temu for their boxes. In the future, I’m hoping to buy more 2 dimensional style ornaments instead of just flat ones but since I was catching up for the past 9, 7, 5 & 4 years, I had to go with the ones in budget.

What sort of traditions do you have for your kiddos at Christmas? Are there any traditions your parents had that you’ve passed down to your kids?

This photo came up in my FB memories today and my first thought was that time is a thief. My second thought was how exhausting that season with 4 littles was. They all still needed me for just about everything and my mornings started when the first one was up then the days were almost a blur of go, go, go. My nights included nursing the baby and changing wet sheets when someone peed the bed or comforting a child who woke with night terrors. I didn’t have a solid night of uninterrupted sleep for several years. My heart was full but my mental and physical health were struggling. Some days I miss my babies being so little - their tiny squeaky voices, their itty bitty hands in mine, the way they would tuck their hands in front of them when they laid against me so they could be as close to my heart as possible, their experimenting with new words and saying “me want…me like it…etc” instead of “I”. There are definitely things I don’t miss though like changing diapers and feeling so tired.

We are now in a season where everyone uses the toilet, everyone *almost* sleeps through the night, everyone can get themselves breakfast on a Saturday morning and help themselves to snacks. They can brush their own teeth, get themselves dressed and put their own shoes on.

Every season comes with its challenges but my encouragement to you is to not wish the season you’re in away! Somedays I would day dream about a time when my kids would be more independent and I did look forward to it but if you spend all your time focusing on what’s to come, you’ll miss out on the beauty of now. “Now” will one day be 3 years ago and you’ll look at a photo of like this one and wonder if you enjoyed those squishy little babes or spent all your time only wishing they would grow up.

Each of my kids have done something “naughty” when they were pretty young. Something that they knew they shouldn’t have done but decided to do anyways. Fortunately none of them have cut their hair, done something very dangerous or done something with permanent results.

For Maddie, she went into my bathroom and went through the entire box of Q-Tips cleaning her ears one by one until she was surrounded by a 500 box of qtips all around her. Charlotte stuck one her hair berets into the electrical sockets in her bedroom and electrocuted herself (definitely the most dangerous of all the things)! Henry took a crayon and drew all over his walls (which he had to clean up himself using a magic eraser). I thought maybe James wouldn’t have a naught incident since he’s my most compliant, easy kid but this week he snuck out of quiet time, ate the top layer of a pan of brownies, helped himself to a bag of candy delivered that morning from The Grinch, then used a chair to reach into the knife block and remove all the knives…which he proceeded to hide under the covers on Johnny’s side of the bed😳😳😳

3 of these incidents happened during quiet time and all of them took only a few minutes! I do watch my kids carefully but while I assume they’re in their rooms napping, I sometimes work outside in the yard or lay down for a nap. It’s a hard thing being a parent when your kid’s brains are still growing, they have sinful natures, they are curious and sometimes downright naughty! These are the kind of incidents that lead to grey hairs and make parenting challenging.

I’m sharing all of this for those of you with children have also done naughty things that you’ve felt the guilt for but need to be reminded that sometimes kids are just bad!! You aren’t a bad parent and this too shall pass. I will add that for all of my kids, they never ever repeated the action they did because they learned after the first time that we don’t do ever do those things. It’s just a part of growing up and learning which will hopefully result in us teaching our kids how to behave and make good choices!

Press on mommas!

Parenthood is having a child wake up with blue all over his face without ANY idea on how it got there. Did he sleep with a blue marker? Did he eat a Smurf in his sleep? Did he wake up and paint in the middle of the night then go back to bed? It’s a mystery that I’m not sure we’ll solve but it does mean one thing - he’ll need a bath today before church tomorrow.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted but I thought about my mom friends with littles today and wanted to share an encouraging experience I had today.

On a whim, I decided this afternoon that it was a good day for us to go get our annual height photo in the pumpkin patch.

In the past, I would put them in cute fall clothes, wipe their faces, brush their hair and put on appropriate footwear but we are getting a bit more casual around here and I have to admit that it took away SO much of the stress I used to feel trying to get everything “perfect”.

This time the kids were excited for their individual height photos and I didn’t have to yell, bribe or even give them the “look” [the look that says stop what you’re doing instantly or there will be consequences]! We frolicked, took pictures, ate cookies and chose a big pumpkin for the front porch. In all we were only there about 15 minutes but we had fun and I got my annual photos😁

For those with little littles, this day will come for you too. I remember the days of carrying babies around this same pumpkin patch while chasing toddlers and trying to keep them from running on the road or picking up heavy pumpkins and dropping them. I remember being a sweaty mess when we were done and being physically spent from all the wrangling that it took to get the kids to stand still for a photo. The pictures always looked like we had an enjoyable time but in reality, it was stressful. I don’t regret making the effort it took to get the photos but I wish someone had reminded me that I still would have treasured the photos even if they weren’t perfect. And one day, you’ll be able to say to your kids “let’s go to the pumpkin patch” and all your kids will put their own shoes on, walk to the van, buckle themselves in, unbuckle themselves, stand still in front of the height board, smile at the camera, stand together for a group photo, agree together on the perfect pumpkin and load themselves back into the van without having to yell or break a sweat even once!

Tonight I went to find my kid’s VBS groups at drop off which were marked by age for the younger kids. I dropped the girls off then took Henry over to his class with the 4’s. None of the teachers were finding him on their attendance sheets so I looked at their lists myself then got a bit frustrated since I knew I had pre-registered him. After about a minute or longer of trying to figure out why his name wasn’t on the list, Henry looks up at me and says “mommy, I’m 5”.

Y’all, I just about peed my pants. I sometimes joke with my kiddos about not knowing their ages but tonight I legit forgot that he turned 5 in March😂

So, as always, take solace in the fact that you aren’t alone in having mom brain and that if you forget how old your kid is, eventually they’ll remind you.