11/04/2025
Exploring the Complexities of My Admiration for Frida Kahlo – A Personal Reflection by Yajaira C. Tejada Aguasvivas
Written on November 12, 2024
The conflict I feel about admiring Frida Kahlo stems from this tension between the values I grew up with and the uninhibited spirit Frida seemed to embody so naturally. Frida stands for fearless self-expression, defiance of female-divine-design and traditional roles, and an unapologetic embrace of her truths and her wants —even when her actions clashed with society’s expectations of what and how a woman is supposed to be. She broke many molds.
For someone like me, raised in a Christian context and with a deep appreciation for traditional ideals of femininity, that kind of bold individualism feels in complete contradiction of God’s true design for women; a godly woman is supposed to live a life that’s aligned to an image of modesty, service, and morality, which are traits that seem at odds with the rebellious figure that Frida represented. Frida was known for her liberal views, her defiance of societal norms, and for the display of sexuality and self-expression that defy everything I was taught as a child about what a woman can and must not do, because as they say in my country “men are like stray dogs, but woman like the pet dogs kept at home and on a leash.”
I feel such a deep and complicated admiration for Frida —like she’s calling me to something in myself that I am still too afraid to embrace. Sometimes, I think that my pull towards her is because she embodies something I feel trapped inside of me, waiting to break free, to awaken a power I sense in myself but haven’t yet dared to release. And, I am aching to break free. I feel restrained by the person I’ve always been. I know that my potential is greater than what I’m showing now, yet the fear in me keeps me contained.
But when reflecting about this ambivalent feeling that burns inside of me, I realized that in a deeper sense, although Frida challenged traditional ideas, she also surrendered to “God’s will” by embracing every unfortunate circumstance that happened to her with courage and humility. She was resilient and had a fierce desire for leaving life fully. While a woman of deeply rooted Christian values may find consolation in spiritual faith, Frida’s liberation came from the courage she had to have to face pain and suffering, which she expressed through her art. Frida was bold, and her boldness can also be seen as a reflection of faith. Although unconventional and rebellious, she expressed faith and through creativity and resilience.
I’ve come to understand that there’s something powerful in me that responds to her —a part of me that resonates with her strength, her creativity, her uniqueness, her refusal to be silenced, her fire. Her courage to live fully in her truth and her fierce independence appeals to a part of me that longs for more freedom to be myself, without fear of judgment, failure, or condemnation.
Perhaps, I am seeking to reconcile these two sides of myself —the values-oriented side and the passionate/self-expressive side that Frida represents so strongly. There’s a Frida like force inside of me I cannot deny, ignore or shut off. I speak to God seeking for an answer, maybe for forgiveness because I feel like a hypocrite —looking for his guidance, studying his words, asking to become a new vessel, and yet the Frida-like fire inside only grows stronger, and for some reason, I feel as if this is a contradiction.
What I see, feel and gravitate towards when it comes to Frida: resilience, strength, courage, ability to endure pain and suffering with a fiery grace that ignites the power from within, a strong sense of self that allows her to be free spirited, genuine, and unique. She definitely was, and is, one of a kind.
Maybe my admiration for Frida isn’t really a contradiction after all. Maybe, I’ve been misreading this feeling. Instead, it might be an invitation from God or a nudge from the Universe urging me to embrace these two energies and to allow them to coexist in harmony —an invitation to find balance, and to honor my inner fire and let it be, but most importantly to finally break free from the limits I’ve set for myself.
I still have many chains to break, but I am at peace with this realization. Yet, it has awakened a stronger sense of responsibility within me that’s both powerful and intimidating. And what’s next? Well, for now, I am embracing this truth and allowing it to guide me as I continue my process of self-growth. I yearn liberation from my own judgement and limitations, knowing that only by unleashing the power within can I spread my wings fully and fly as high and far as I’m meant to.
“Nothing is absolute. Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away.” — Frida Kahlo
03/31/2023