08/25/2026
Marriage is “hard” because, at our core, we are selfish creatures.
We want to be understood without thinking of our spouse first. We want our needs met even if it means our spouses are not.
We want our spouse to change before we have to look in the mirror at our own flaws.
But when we begin setting aside our own selfish desires, we start to see the beauty of what God designed marriage to be.
Marriage was never meant to make us “happy.”
It was designed to make us more like Christ and to be a reflection of Christ’s love for His church.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25
That makes me ask myself a harder question:
What am I willing to give up for my husband?
I’ve learned that some of the biggest changes in my marriage happened when I stopped focusing so much on what Kiel needed to do differently and started asking God, “What needs to change in me?”
Philippians 2:3–4 tells us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves…”
That doesn’t mean losing myself or accepting unhealthy behavior. It means learning to love with humility, grace, forgiveness, patience, and sacrifice—the way Christ loves us.
Marriage becomes something beautiful when the goal shifts from “What am I getting out of this relationship?” to “How can I love the person God has entrusted to me?”
The closer we each grow to Him, the better we learn to love each other. ❤️
