Wounds to Wisdom Transformation Coaching

Coffee Klatch is beginning THIS WEEKEND!!!!

Women's Coffee Klatch - W2W Spend cozy autumn and winter Saturday mornings with your Women's Coffee Klatch & Support Group. A women's only group that will discuss topics in self care, books and journaling over a hot cuppa. Key word: RELAX!

Do you find yourself giving in and giving up important things only to then feel resentful... and ashamed of your resentment?
Visit my free women's class online this evening at 5pm MST. This one is for you! Comment "I'm ready" for the link.

Sometimes, There is No Magic…
When tried and true methods fail – A story of communication and cupcakes
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We are home from our holiday and content but tired. We will continue to have guests another day or two, which is lovely. My night was restless as my mind returned to local demands and troubles that waited unresolved for a fresh perspective. I wish I had found one. I march into a world of challenging communication. Communication is always hard.

I made cupcakes this morning. A sweet treat, a little happy surprise to take the mind off other things.

It was a new recipe carefully vetted and prepared exactly to the instructions. Baking without flour is a delicate operation but I am not new to it and I am generally successful at it. I like to pretend I am a witch in the kitchen, conjuring up something wonderful over my pots and bowls.

After 2o minutes the house smelled like heaven.

After 30 minutes I was shooing people from the kitchen so they could cool.

When the moment came to taste the carefully decorated lovelies it was a fight to hold back the fingers and mouths all eager and anticipating something delicious…

Until..

Sour faces and first bites spat into napkins.

“What the heck is in that?!” the kids cried. Even I had to guzzle a good amount of coffee to get rid of the rancid flavor of… something…entirely un-cupcake like. Disappointed and disgusted eaters went back to their day while I tried with great effort to figure out what had gone wrong. The ingredients were all fresh, nothing out dated, nothing smelled or tasted funny on it’s own. I decided it must be the frosting. I tossed the old batch, mixed a new one, and stared over. I tested it: it was sugary and buttery and delightful. I pasted a very generous portion onto the cake and closed my eyes, bravely took a bite, and then groped desperately for my napkin.

Nope. Not the frosting.

I sat looking at the failed dozens. They looked and smelled intoxicating but what they had to offer was toxic. I wave my wooden spoon with a defeated “bibbity-bobbity- boo” and gave a sigh. Sometimes there is no magic.

As I started my clean up I began thinking about how communication is a bit like cupcakes. Most times you apply the recipe:

Recipe For Communication:
1 person to act as the sender

1 (or more) ideas

encoding

communication channel

1 (or more) receivers

decoding

feedback

Encode idea or ideas, send via communication channel to receiver/s. Give time to decode and allow opportunity for feedback.

More to it than you realized? Well, communication isn’t easy- but hopefully you end with a happy little interaction that leaves everyone satisfied.

Once in a while though, something goes wrong. Some step gets missed or runs amok and you end up with…well, something similar to whatever the heck these nasty things I just created are. You can obsessively go over the details, you can try too hard and really make a mess, you can even slap on a whole lot of frosting- but that just makes it all the more disappointing. If the thing is bad, well, there is no magic.

Maybe you just have to trash the whole effort and hope that you can start over.

If it’s communication: let the oven cool, offer a sincere apology with an acknowledgement that communication is hard and request to start over. If you get the opportunity, use a new recipe. If you don’t -be kind to yourself. You tried. Communication is hard.

… but If you are talking cupcakes – toss them onto the fire to protect the innocent. Seriously.

...and imagine what talking kindly to YOURSELF can do! If you wouldn't say it to a friend or a child, don't say it to yourself!!!

https://wounds2wisdom.care/home-coaching-for-women/we-are-all-cracked-pots/

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