11/08/2025
I was never treated to abuse such as this as a child, but I can remember adults acting oddly and badly towards me when they should have known better. As I grew older, I also grew accustomed to people mistreating me and getting angry with me for reasons that I could not understand, only to put them in a fit of rage when I told them that I couldn't understand what I did to make them so angry. I learned to be silent as to not provoke more hostility.
The story Serenity relates here resonates with me, not so much for its severity as for the lack of sense and reason behind why she was treated to this kind of punishment. Yes, I call it "punishment" because there is no other explanation. Behavior which is perceived as "odd" in this society is punished, even when there are rules put in place to prevent this kind of abuse. I specifically remember again and again people breaking or bending rules in schools and elsewhere just so they could have the freedom to treat me badly. I seemed to almost attract these kinds of people to me, even into early adulthood.
Both of the facilities that Serenity was placed into were shut down for allegations of abuse and misconduct. This was not back in the 1950s and '60s in the age of chlorpromazine, shock treatments, and lobotomies. This happened to her in the LATE 1980s!
If you want to know why autistic people mask, it's because they want to avoid the attention, anger, and vengeance of people who would be offended by their behavior if they didn't. Public school is often where this cycle begins. Many neurodivergent people still feel the emotions of abuse reverberating within them; it is harder for them to "move past it" than it is for n-typicals. You can see it in Serenity's face. She has the courage to talk about this now, but her past experiences will always echo within her.
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