Dementia Care Exchange

Sundowning is a term used to describe increased confusion, anxiety, restlessness, or agitation that can occur later in the day, often in the late afternoon or evening.

For caregivers, these moments can be challenging and emotionally exhausting.

While every person is different, here are 3 calm approaches that may help:

1. STAY CALM 💜

When emotions are running high, your tone and body language matter.

Try speaking slowly, using a gentle voice, and avoiding arguments or corrections. A calm presence can sometimes help reduce distress.

2. REDUCE STIMULATION 💜

Too much noise, activity, or confusion in the environment can sometimes make symptoms worse.

Consider dimming bright lights, lowering background noise, and creating a quieter, more relaxing atmosphere.

3. REDIRECT GENTLY 💜

Rather than trying to reason through confusion, try shifting attention to something comforting.

A favorite song, family photos, a simple snack, a familiar routine, or a short walk may help redirect focus and ease anxiety.

Most importantly, remember this:

Sundowning is often a sign of distress—not stubbornness or intentional behavior.

And if you've navigated these difficult evenings before, give yourself credit. These moments can be incredibly challenging, and many caregivers are doing the best they can with the resources they have.

Have you found anything that helps during sundowning episodes?

Your experience may help another caregiver who is facing the same challenges. 💜

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One thing we hear often from caregivers is that music can still create moments of connection, comfort, and familiarity.

Even on difficult days, a favorite song can sometimes bring a smile, spark a memory, encourage movement, or simply make the moment feel a little lighter.

Those moments may seem small, but many caregivers know how meaningful they can be.

Dementia changes many things, but it doesn't always take away the ability to enjoy familiar activities, favorite foods, beloved pets, meaningful routines, time outdoors, family photos, or the comfort of a familiar song.

Sometimes, those simple moments become some of the most treasured parts of the day.

They remind us that connection can still happen.
That joy can still exist.
And that meaningful moments are still possible, even when caregiving feels difficult.

For our community, music is one thing we often hear about.

What about you?

What's something your loved one with dementia still enjoys?

We'd love to hear your answers below. Your experience may give another caregiver a new idea—or simply remind them that moments of joy can still be found along the journey. 💜

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Sometimes you need to hear this more than once.

Caregiving for someone living with dementia can feel exhausting in ways that are hard to explain—emotionally, mentally, and even physically. There are days when patience runs thin, when guilt shows up uninvited, and when you wonder if you’re doing enough.

If that’s you, here’s a gentle reminder:

The fact that caregiving feels hard
does not mean you’re doing it wrong.

Some days are heavy not because you are failing,
but because what you are carrying is genuinely heavy.

There is no perfect way to do this work. There is only showing up, learning as you go, and loving through moments that don’t always feel gentle.

If this resonates with you, feel free to share it with someone who might need the reminder today.

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Not every family will work with every professional on this list—and that's okay.

Every dementia journey is different.

Some caregivers may only need support from a primary care provider and neurologist, while others may find additional specialists helpful as needs change over time.

We're curious:

Have you worked with any of these professionals during your caregiving journey?

Which one has been the most helpful for you? 💜

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One of the hardest parts of dementia caregiving is that every day can feel different.

What worked yesterday may not work today.

A routine that felt easy last week may suddenly become difficult.

That unpredictability can be frustrating, confusing, and exhausting.

If you're constantly adjusting and adapting, please give yourself credit.

You're doing something incredibly difficult.

The fact that you keep showing up, even when the path keeps changing, says more about your strength than you may realize.

One day at a time is enough. 💜

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Nobody talks about how much decision-making caregivers do every day.

What should they eat?
Did they take their medication?
Should I correct them?
Should I let it go?
Is this behavior part of dementia?
Do I need to call the doctor?

Many caregivers are making dozens of decisions every single day while also managing their own emotions.

That mental load is exhausting.

If you're feeling drained lately, it may not be because you're doing too little.

It may be because you're carrying more than most people realize. 💙

✨️Behind every decision is love, and that matters more than you know.

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Aggression in dementia can be one of the most difficult behaviors caregivers face.

It can feel hurtful, exhausting, and sometimes even frightening.

If you've experienced this, please know you're not alone. Many caregivers face moments like these, and the fact that you're looking for ways to respond with patience and understanding speaks volumes about the care you're providing. 💙

Here are 7 supportive ways to handle dementia aggression:

💙 Stay Calm and Don't Take It Personally

Aggression is often a symptom of distress, not a reflection of their feelings toward you. Try to speak in a calm, gentle tone and avoid arguing, correcting, or raising your voice.

💙 Identify and Address Triggers

Aggression can sometimes be linked to pain, fear, hunger, overstimulation, confusion, or feeling rushed. Looking for patterns may help you better understand what's causing the reaction.

💙 Validate Feelings Before Redirecting

Instead of focusing on facts, acknowledge the emotion behind their words or behavior. Once they feel heard, gently redirect the conversation or activity.

💙 Ensure Physical Safety for Both of You

If aggression becomes physical, step back and give everyone space. Safety should always come first.

💙 Keep Communication Simple and Soothing

Too much information can increase confusion and frustration. Short, calm sentences are often easier to process.

💙 Maintain Structure and Predictability

Consistent routines can help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of security throughout the day.

💙 Take Care of Yourself and Seek Support

Caregiving is emotionally demanding. If aggression becomes frequent or difficult to manage, don't hesitate to seek support from healthcare professionals, support groups, or other caregivers.

It's important to remember that aggression is often a sign of distress, fear, confusion, discomfort, or an unmet need—not a reflection of how your loved one feels about you.

You won't respond perfectly every time, and that's okay.

Dementia caregiving is emotionally demanding. The goal isn't perfection—it's continuing to show up with compassion, one day at a time.

And if you're doing your best through difficult moments like these, give yourself credit.

This work is not easy, and your effort matters. 💜

This week, try not to measure your caregiving by perfection.

Measure it by presence.

The conversation you had or question you answered for the tenth time.
The reassurance you gave.
The hand you held.
The moment of patience you found when things felt difficult.

Those things matter too.

Caregiving isn't about doing everything perfectly.

It's about continuing to show up with compassion, one day at a time.

And if all you can do today is your best, that's enough.💙

Caregivers need care too.

Not just sleep.
Not just breaks.
But emotional support too.

Someone to check in.
Someone to listen.
Someone to ask,

"How are YOU doing?"

Because caregivers spend so much time caring for others that their own emotions often get pushed aside.

SO today, we're asking:

How have you really been feeling lately? 💜

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Sometimes the signs don’t appear all at once.

It can begin with forgotten appointments, repeated questions, or moments of confusion that seem small at first.

If someone you love has been acting differently lately, it may be worth paying closer attention.

Here are some common signs that could mean it’s time to seek medical guidance:

• Memory changes that affect daily life
- Frequently forgetting important details, repeating conversations, or relying more on reminders than before.

• Difficulty managing familiar tasks
- Struggling with familiar routines like cooking, managing medications, or keeping up with appointments.

• Confusion about time or place
- Getting disoriented in familiar areas, mixing up dates or seasons, or becoming unsure of where they are.

• Changes in communication
- Having trouble finding words, following conversations, or expressing thoughts clearly.

• Noticeable behavior or personality changes
- Increased withdrawal, irritability, anxiety, or reactions that feel unusual compared to their normal self.

A medical evaluation doesn’t automatically mean there’s a diagnosis.

Sometimes, it simply helps families better understand what support and next steps may be needed.

The earlier concerns are addressed, the more support families and caregivers can receive along the way. 💙

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