Ashley Rogers Life Coaching

THE BEST DAY!!!!!

I have a HS Freshman client who told me through tears at our first meeting-

that she just wanted to be a leader,

but that she had zero leadership qualities,

and was too scared to try.

We have been working together for 2.5 months now, on this and other topics.

We talked about what being a leader is, and is not,

And she came to see that she was holding herself to an impossible standard of "leader",

To which she didn't hold anyone else!

We made a list of REAL leadership qualities,

And set goals on how she could build and use them!

We made this thought ladder,

From where she was starting-

To where she wanted to climb.

Today she told me- SHE'S AT THE TOP!

She even attended a leadership retreat and said in her own words,

"It was so fun, and I was a good leader!"

If there was a magic pill to give teens (and adults) to be fearless,

I would do it.

But there's not.

What there is- is learning to take action in spite of fear,

AND THAT NOTHING HAS GONE WRONG!

That the little things,

built upon each other,

BECOME THE BIG THINGS-

and

BECOME ANYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE,

One step at a time!

Do you have a daughter who you know could climb this ladder?!

I CAN HELP!

I have the pleasure to coach two sets of twins, and this is one of them!

Each girl is COMPLETELY opposite from her twin,

And it's been so fun to see the different directions that coaching has taken us!

Another shout out for how coaching and therapy are different-

I don't know what kind of therapist this client had,

But coaching is about actionable tools and strategies to start where you are at and START MOVING FORWARD!

Therapy is great, and I'm studying to be a therapist as well (actually to marry the two!)

So this is no slight to therapists!

They have training and expertise with things I'm not currently trained to help with- like trauma!

But if your teen feels stuck, socially awkward, is struggling with relationships or communication,

I CAN HELP!

I just talked to this mom this morning, and asked for permission to post!

I should add, I'm a coach, and coaches are great for a lot of things!

I'm not a therapist, which are also great, especially for things I'm not currently trained to do, like help with trauma!

I've been MIA for a while as I started my master's degree in marriage and family therapy AND I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

My business is still growing and thriving, it just hasn't left me much time to post!

But my goal is to be back and posting 3x per week! So if gave any questions you'd like me to address, send them my way!

You guys!
This incredible client and I had 3 sessions...

THREE!!!

Have you ever heard the expression,

"You don't know what you don't know"?

This client is INCREDIBLE,

but she didn't know that she could change her mind about-

-Herself
-Her Capabilities
-Her Possibilities
-Her Self-Limiting Thoughts!

After ONE session where we threw out some old ways of thinking and decided on a few new ones to try,

And made the goal of going out of her comfort zone to make a new friend and see if it was worth it-

She made a new best friend!

She reached out, put in the effort, was brave, was herself,

And that's all it took!

The next two sessions we spent clearing out ANY limiting thoughts she could find,

And I challenged her to blow her own mind with what
SHE CAN DO WHEN SHES BRAVE AND BELIEVES IN HERSELF!

After 3 sessions she was ready to tackle the world!

I will always be here for her if she wants to coach some more,

But right now she is finding out over and over again,

How great life can be,

When you love yourself fiercely,

Put the real you out boldly,

And see what kind of COMPLETE AWESOMENESS is attracted!

My friends-
IM STILL HERE! Despite my lack of posts, Ashley Rogers Life Coaching continues to grow, and I continue to know with all of my heart that coaching will be my life's work- I LOVE IT!!!

With 2 different family reunions, a trip to California, a trip to France 😍, and a trip to China 🤯😱💗, posting has taken a back seat, but my clients definitely have not!
I got this kind testimonial from the mother of an INCREDIBLE tween that I have been working with for about 6 months!
This is what I can tell you about tough tweens and teens (in my experience anyway-) TEENS DON'T WANT TO BE RUDE, DEFIANT, or HARD TO HANDLE, anymore than you want them to be!
There is always a reason, and the teens don't usually even understand what it is themselves, until we really start to dive into who they are, who they want to be, how they feel, and how they want to feel- then...
MAGIC!!!
When I first met with this mom to talk about coaching, she told me through tears that no matter how hard they try, this daughter ruined most family time and outings with her violent outbursts and purposeful unkindness... and mom was feeling totally defeated. 😢
Fast forward, and now this tween lays on her mom's bed with her mom every night to get some quality girl time before bed! This is the tween who told me about the car ride on the family vacation where she used the feedback formula to express her frustration rather than physically fight with her brother! This is the tween who was having panic attacks before school who now goes happily and healthily!
Coaching is magical, it really is. It gives these girls the tools and steps to move toward becoming the BEST version of who they know they can be, and the permission to love themselves fiercely, and that, is magic!

I recently found the "High Achiever Mindset Coach" .manning and CANNOT GET ENOUGH! I'm reading his book and listening to every podcast he's ever been on!

He coaches the top of the top...The Milwaukee Bucks, the Olympics downhill ski team, the highest earning and achieving businesses and business people!

He talked about this cycle on a podcast I was listening to yesterday and THIS IS THE FIRST THING I TEACH MY CLIENTS!!!

In order to know and like yourself, you have to identify your-

qualities...

skills...

gifts...

And characteristics

that make you COMPLETELY UNIQUELY YOU!!

In a world where most HS girls are trying to find all ways possible to fit in and be just like everyone else,

The actual way to have self-confidence and self-love is to STOP trying to be the same,

And EMBRACE THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU UNIQUE!

On our very first meeting I have my clients identify their 10 best characteristics-

They write them down,

And post them someone they will see often.

Their homework (and their mom's homework if they client is comfortable with me giving it to them)

Is to stay looking for all the times and ways in a day that you are using those qualities!

Just like how gratitude keeps you focused on what you have instead of what you don't have-

Knowing your strengths and using them keeps you focused on who you ARE, not who you are not!

Have a daughter who doesn't quite see her potential yet?

I CAN HELP!

It's the little things!

Sentences like this are why I do what I do and love it so much!!

Coaching with tweens is frequently

(But not always)

More of me teaching them skills, tools, and strategies to use as they encounter-

New,
Or
emotionally charged,
Or
confusing,

Situations.

This is great for them because as they encounter these new situations, they will already have a plan for

Who they want to be,

And how they want to act.

Most tweens (but not all) aren't yet struggling with weighty personal problems,

So coaching with a friend will spark conversation and more willingness to speak up, not less.

I find that usually (but not always 😉) the opposite is true for my older teen clients.

They usually want to talk about deeply personal feelings or concerns,

and they like that no one in their real-life circle has to know how they are feeling.

Coaching with a friend is just another option if you're thinking your tween could benefit from getting ahead of the drama!

I can help! 💗

Not all sessions look the same-

Some girls are in their bedroom,
Some are in their closet,
And during this session, my client was in her car!
(When you're a teen, sometimes you have to get creative for privacy!)

My out of town clients coach on Zoom,
But I also coach clients in their home,
Or in a study room at the library!

No two sessions look just the same,
Because no two girls are the same.

I coach sisters back to back,
And I coach friends together!

Some clients have a standing weekly appointment,
Some biweekly,
And some are at the point where they are confidently and successfully applying what we've coached on, and just text to set up an appointment when they have a specific situation they want to coach about!

One thing stays the same-
No matter the personality of the girl:
Introvert,
Extrovert,
Outwardly cool,
Or
Warm and expressive...

I can always tell when something we are talking about strikes a chord.

It's literally like a curtain has been pulled back from their eyes and they can all of the sudden see-

The thought that's been holding them back,
Or,
The thought that will catapult them forward!

Not all start to cry,
But some do,
And that's ok-
Big feelings don't scare me-
It's what teen girls are made of!

It's also pretty miraculous that after only 1-2 meetings,
Clients and their moms start to see big and rapid changes,

Because my client has given herself permission to see herself in a whole new light!

If you have a daughter who could use some tools, some faith in herself, and permission to break free of what is holding her back- message me!
I can help! 💗

I absolutely love stories like this-

Because BIG things don't just happen-

Little changes over time lead to

BIG CHANGES OVERALL!!

If there was a pill or practice that took you from

Insecure to self-confident,

We would all have 100% self-confidence and I'd need another line of work!

But there's not 🤨

Just like-

The gym,
Learning a language,
Learning an instrument,
Learning a sport,

We all have different starting points, but from there, time, practice, repetition, and baby steps lead to

REMARKABLE CHANGE!!

Keeping your word to yourself about practice,
Leads to keeping your work to yourself about being social.

And keeping your word to yourself about social situations leads to keeping your word to yourself about boundaries!

And keeping your work to yourself repeatedly about 100% different little things gives you the confidence to

DO ANYTHING YOU CAN DREAM OF!

Have a daughter who could use some help-
I can help!!

If you started taking new medicine and all of the sudden your vision was blurry-

You would definitely freak out!

But if you started new medication, and the doctor had told you that one side effect will be blurred vision but that it would subside soon after,

You wouldn't like the blurred vision-

But it also wouldn't scare you.

You would be able to wait it out knowing it's normal,

And it will pass.

This is how we prepare our teens.

We normalize the discomfort,

And let them know it will pass!

They won't like the discomfort they feel, but because they were expecting it, it won't scare them!