Dwell Pediatric Sleep

If I could go back 10 years, here’s what I think she needs to hear…⬇️

Throw all the rules away. Yep, all of them. What you did before with your bio kids is not relevant here. It’s apples and oranges. Stop trying to do for him what you did for them.

Actually, do the exact opposite.

Start by meeting him exactly where he is rather than concerning yourself with the long term. That might mean he’s falling asleep to an iPad or a song or drinking milk or lying with you. That might mean he only eats wonton soup and Pringles and drinks bottles meant for babies.

Doesn’t matter.

There is no spoiling this child.

There is no good and bad - there is only safe.

All that matters right now is that he trusts.

Encourage a decent bedtime and wake time but don’t force it. Offer healthier and more nutritious food options alongside (not in place of) what he knows is safe.

Do what has never been done for him before and predictably offer him sufficient food and drink and sleep, but don’t lose your sanity over the exact numbers. Trauma doesn’t follow wake windows or care about protein.

Smile a lot. Laugh together. Get down on the floor and play. Make a fool of yourself. Let loose. Have fun and show him warmth, even when you don’t feel like it.

Show him you’re safe. Meet his needs, even if he doesn’t well respond to it at first. Keep trying. Attachment is a two-way street.

You’ve been waiting months for him to come home, but he had no idea he wasn’t home before. Remember that he had a story and a bed and people he loved before you that he didn’t sign up to lose.

And then? Do this over and over and over again.

That’s it. That’s literally all that matters right now.

The rest of it? The early bedtimes and “sleeping through the night” (myth, by the way) and healthy meals? Everything else can come later.

Felt safety is built upon a foundation of trust. From that trust flows everything else. So get your foundation right, and allow the rest to fall into place.

Oh, and one other thing I’d tell her? You’re holding a treasure. And you’re in for a beautiful, wild ride that’ll be one of the greatest joys of your life. 🩵

One of the very first things I learned in graduate school was Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. And it’s still something I reference almost daily.

Until a child’s basic physiological and safety needs are satisfied, nothing else grows - not trust, not confidence, not self-esteem.

Sleep is not optional. It is foundational. And it deserves to be prioritized as the essential need it is.

On May 5, 2021, a shaky yes changed our lives and our family forever.

We will never be the same, and we thank God for that. 🤍

What shaky yes changed your life?

What’s one piece of sleep advice you wish you could go back and unlearn? ⬇️