01/26/2024
One of the most common phrases (unfortunately) in the birth space:
❌“We’re just going to…”❌
👉… break your water to bring baby down
👉… check and see where you’re at
👉… start pitocin to move things along
👉… put baby on the monitor
👉… start your IV
👉… give you these antibiotics
👉… break down the bed
etc etc
If a phrase starts with “we’re just going to”, and you don’t say “no”, that DOESNT mean you gave consent for it.
Consent looks like:
✅”I’m thinking X might help here, can I share why I think that, and some of the potential outcomes that can happen, and then you let me know if you want to do this or not?”
✅”would you like to be checked now or are you good doing what you’re doing right now? It’s totally up to you”
✅”we typically would recommend antibiotics with your GBS status, here are the pros and cons of this, what would you like to do for your body & baby?”
Receiving consent starts with a question. Both informed consent AND informed refusal are valid.
If you feel icky, pressured, or like you’re only getting one side of the story… WAIT. You do not have to make a decision right when they’re asking.
Instead you can say “I’d like some time to think about that/discuss with my partner/see how things play out a bit longer before choosing” etc.
Take the time. YOU are the authority in the room. YOU are the expert in your body.
Regardless of what choices you make in your labor; it truly doesn’t matter what those choices are. What is the MOST important principle (that reduces birth trauma!!!) is how you FEEL when making those choices.
&btw- this is NOT restricted to hospital births or OBGYN. I have seen numerous times with birth centers, home births, midwives where they use similar language. It is SO important to be picky about who you birth with ♥️
Love you, always you’re cheerleader,
Emily