Private Practice Skills

I haven’t been posting these days because I’ve been in the midst of a move and living my best life in San Diego.

Also sometimes I have a love-hate relationship with Instagram. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one right?

But I noticed that some new folks are following my account. Hello there! 👋 I’ll see if I might post a little more often - no promises 😅

If you’re ever wondering where I’m at, you can always find me on YouTube posting every week. Tomorrow I’ll be sharing about how I think efficiency is overrated. Click the link in my bio to find my YouTube channel!

In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy the gorgeous sunny day with my kiddos. Catch ya on the flippity flip!

I’ve heard folks strongly advocate that you either HAVE to have a sliding scale, or that you absolutely SHOULDN’T have a sliding scale.

You can have a sliding scale if you want, and you also don’t have to offer one either. As long as you follow your jurisdiction’s laws surrounding offering one.

You can make the decision based on what aligns with your values. And regardless, you can earn the income you want.

If you offer a sliding scale, consider capping how many slots you have available at the lower rate for those who qualify for it. You can do a little math to make sure the average between all of your available slots offers the hourly income you want.

I’ve chosen to offer a sliding scale. And I’m considering offering a few more slots at an even lower rate. This aligns both with my values and my income goals. Since Private Practice Skills is now my primary source of income, I’m comfortable with a pay cut in my practice if it means more folks can access counseling. My income between both businesses is still increasing overall.

Whatever you do, make the choice based on what your goals are, and not based on what somebody told you you’re supposed to do.

And in case it needs to be said: you deserve to earn the income you want. “Pay your dues” is total rubbish my friend.

Even with access to all the right tools, most therapists struggle with believing in themselves enough. And this deters your capacity for success in private practice.

Yep, the thing we are so talented at helping others foster apparently is also our own downfall. We don’t believe in ourselves. Our self-esteem is lackluster.

And when we don’t believe we’re capable of something, then we don’t even bother trying.

Is this true for you?

It's true of me! It’s taken years for me to really believe I have what it takes to succeed in private practice, and I still have to navigate this kind of imposter syndrome on a regular basis.

Just a few weeks ago I relaunched my practice after maternity leave. I revamped my website using all the tools I teach and believe in to market my own practice.

And yet, I feared none of it would work.

(Don’t worry, it worked! I filled up in one week)

Looking back, I shouldn’t be surprised. I completely believe in the strategies I teach, but imposter syndrome is super powerful!

My best tip for dealing with imposter syndrome? Embrace it! If you wait for it to go away, you’ll never reach your goals. Assume it’s coming with you no matter what and challenge yourself to accomplish your goals anyway. Later when you look back, you’ll be proud of yourself for it.

Oh and btw, if you are needing those tools to start your practice you can find everything you need on my website at www.privatepracticeskills.com

No therapist is immune to offering bad therapy. Even “good therapists” make mistakes!

If you’re finding yourself making one of these errors, I strongly encourage you to seek consultation to dig a little deeper into what’s going on there.

If you’ve fallen into a pattern of repeating several of these mistakes, I encourage you to also consider what about your work or your life might be causing a break in the system. It may also be a good time to pursue personal therapy.

I know plenty of “good” therapists who have fallen into these patterns due to burnout, being overworked, or personal concerns bleeding into their work.

If you've seen a therapist who has mistreated you, you have the right to report them. I hear from clients over and over again about terrible therapy experiences they’ve had in the past. But very few folks actually make a report.

I understand what that’s like. I filed a complaint once after a therapist was wildly inappropriate with me across multiple therapy sessions despite me giving her repeated feedback. I finally built up the courage to report her, but it was terrifying. The main factor that made me motivated to file a complaint was knowing that she might be making these same errors with the other folks she worked with.

Not sure how to file a complaint? Each state has separate governing boards. Do a Google search with your therapist’s and state information, such as: “report unethical psychologist California” for more information on how to report your therapist.

Betcha didn’t know this!

Yep. Even if you offer teletherapy across your state, focus your website on a specific city or region within your state.

Why?

Because Google still thinks we only see people in person, and it prioritizes finding local businesses when folks search for a therapist. Just like it would if you searched for a dentist or a coffee shop.

So target your local city all over your website. Find natural places to include your city name when you can.

And yes, you can also say that you offer services across the state as well. 🤗

You HAVE to speak this way on your website.

Gone are the days of listing your specialties and trainings. Your website should speak directly to your client in their greatest pain.

Try this tip and it will be a whole lot easier to translate how you talk to clients in-session onto your website.

This way, you can focus on validating your ideal clients’ pain before they’ve ever met you and start building trust right away.

Plus, they can get a more accurate sense of your approach just by looking at your website.

Give it a try and see how much it helps!

P.S. This applies to your therapist directory listing and social media too!

🙋 Raise your hand if you need this reminder today.

Earlier on, I used to think this was borderline unethical - aren’t we supposed to prioritize our clients’ needs over our own?

It took a long time for me to realize that when we prioritize our own needs, we model healthy choices for our clients. It’s a way to give them permission to do the same. And it shows that we practice what we preach.

And when we prioritize our clients’ needs over our own, eventually we burn out and we’re not able to care for our clients well anyway.

I’ve been on maternity leave since the beginning of June. I haven’t checked my email for my private practice for months. My phone is off.

I took the necessary steps to make sure my clients were well-cared for without me, I prepared them for the transition, and then I logged off.

My daughter arrived in June and I’ve been enjoying time with her, my toddler, and my husband (and myself!) since then. It’s been awesome and 100 percent worth it.

I’ll log back into those emails in September, and I’ll start seeing clients again in October. Until then, I trust that my clients are okay without me.

So if you needed that little nudge to take that vacation, sabbatical, or leave from work but you were nervous you were taking too much time for yourself, take this as your virtual permission slip.

Not that you need one, but sometimes we just need a little reminder :)

I’m curious what’s the longest time that you’ve been away from your clients? Let me know! 👇

Ever have one of those moments when everything seems to not go your way and you feel like giving up?

That happened to me today.

I was editing this Friday’s video about setting up my YouTube home studio. When I went to upload the video, my video software crashed.

And then it crashed again. And again.

This happened over and over. I tried troubleshooting, got frustrated, and nearly gave up. I thought about throwing out the whole video. Nothing I tried seemed to work.

Four hours later, I figured it out. The video is ready to go live on Friday.

This moment made me think about those early days in private practice. My website would break (since I didn’t know what I was doing 😉), I’d hit a snag finding an office to rent, or I’d get stuck on some element of getting all the legal stuff set up for my practice.

When these things happened, I often would give up for awhile and get set back for days, weeks, or even months.

I took those snags as signs that maybe private practice just wasn’t meant to be. Not for me at least.

Since then I’ve learned these snags are a fully expected part of starting anything.

I think the biggest factor that determines whether someone launches their practice or not is persistence.

So if you’re feeling stuck, find what you need to do to persist. It’s ok if you need a buddy to help encourage you :)

And if you catch my video this Friday with my seemingly polished lights and gear, know that there’s more than meets the eye when it comes to what it took to make it happen. We’re all on this journey together!

I don’t know about you, but even though I was taught this in word, in practice, I was taught that we need to prioritize client care at all costs, even if it costs us our mental health.

But this doesn’t work.

Let me clarify something: not only does prioritizing your mental health serve you, but it also benefits your clients.

..even if you need time off when your clients are in crisis.

..even if you need to scale back your caseload when all of your clients really need help.

When you push aside your own needs in order to care for your clients, you’re modeling that behavior for your clients. Even if you try to hide it, it comes through.

And when you deprioritize your health for the sake of your clients and try to put on a good face, you’re practicing inauthenticity. Which leads to burnout and sometimes even bigger problems.

So please, prioritize your mental health. If you’re drowning right now, reach out to colleagues. Consult on what your options are. Folks can help you make sure your clients are still cared for even if you need to step back in some form.

Because pushing through is not worth your mental health. And it’s not helping your clients either.

What brings you joy in life?

Some of my greatest joys include: San Diego sunsets in the summer, leisurely hikes, gardening, and time with my family.

If I can check some of those boxes, then it unlocks energy for my passions: spending time with friends, giving back, and caring for my clients.

But if I don’t have access to my deepest joys, then trying to give energy to my passions feels incredibly taxing. I become prone to procrastinating and then questioning whether those are truly my passions.

Sometimes we tell ourselves to prioritize working harder at what we’re most passionate about rather than what brings us joy, only to feel frustrated that we don’t like it. And then we lose energy and burn out.

What if our approach has been backwards? If you relate to this, consider making space for your deepest joys and see if that changes how you feel about pursuing your passions. It might be more joyful (and you’ll likely be far more productive anyway!).

Things got real in today’s YouTube interview.

I had the awesome privilege of interviewing Roy Kim, LMFT and Certified S*x Addiction Therapist of for today’s YouTube video.

The plan was to pick his brain about how he discovered his specialty so y’all could glean from his wisdom.

What I didn’t expect was his willingness to share so vulnerably about how he allowed his healing journey through one of his deepest pain points to shape his specialty as a s*x addiction therapist.

Roy went deep. Not only did he offer practical tips to help you discover your specialty, he did a fabulous job diffusing any shame you might have about being “damaged goods” and therefore I’ll-equipped to help your clients.

Spoiler alert: your deepest wounds might just be your greatest asset.

Check out his page for a slew of helpful resources for both new and seasoned therapists!

And thanks to Roy Kim for offering himself in such a helpful interview.

Watch the interview here: https://youtu.be/klbXEq4sIWs

*xaddictiontherapist

Not all days are a walk in the park, am I right?

I’m getting to that point in pregnancy where stuff is starting to get harder. My mind doesn’t think straight. My blood pressure has dropped pretty low. And the discomfort is starting to really kick in.

Also, my daughter is in the throes of her 18-month sleep regression. And she’s sick. I.e., I’ve had a perpetually screaming toddler in my care for the past couple of weeks.

This morning while my daughter protested nap in her crib, I was too lightheaded to pick her up and comfort her. So I grabbed a pillow and rested on the floor next to her while she cried.

For a moment, it seemed like a bad situation. But then I thought about how I have the freedom to literally throw out my work agenda for the week if I need to and just focus on tending to me and my daughter’s needs.

But I remember a time when that wasn’t an option. Bills needed to get paid. I needed to commute 150 miles in 2-3 hours of traffic per day to get my hours for licensure. I needed to stay up all night to work on my dissertation while completing a full-time internship.

Today, I have flexibility. But I didn’t always. And I know so many of you don’t have that flexibility right now.

So I just wanted to say, if you are pushing through right now, in survival mode, and doing what you gotta do to get stuff done and pay the bills even if you’re in desperate need of a break: I see you.

People of all professions are susceptible to this experience; it’s part of being human. But I think therapists especially have to put our “game face” on. Our clients can’t know how exhausted we are. We have to keep it together.

If that’s you: know you’re not the only one, and it also doesn’t always have to be this way forever (even if it does have to be this way for today). Take care of yourself as much as you are able, and be proud of yourself for making it to where you are right now.