Aisquith's Sharpshooters

08/28/2026

Good evening citizens,

Ready your tastebuds! Secure your spatulas, calibrate your culinary machinations, and brace yourself for efficient deliciousness! Like your great grandma x6 grinding out sausage first thing in the morning on a random Friday, we are on a deadline.

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

The Aisquith’s / Pi/e Crew x Pampered Chef fundraiser is in its final 48 hours. The dough is rising, the whisks are whirling, your previously mentioned metaphorical great grandma is plating up a feast of anachronistically civic flavor.

Some like their history served hot and slightly displaced, so you can say “that’s got character.”

Do you crave:

Live action living-history action, now with real surgery!
Entertainment!

The power to support Defender’s Day without leaving your couch OR your timeline?

To see your favorite scouts/ reenactors equipped with REAL tools instead of sad utensils and their usual emotional turbulence?

THEN FIRE UP THOSE BURNERS, CITIZEN!

And let's get cooking, because for the next 48 hours (roughly), you can purchase a kitchen tool, ANY kitchen tool. From stoneware to seasoning blends, from whisks to wine openers, every purchase fuels more than just cookware …

It fuels a hungry reenactor. It keeps the campfire warm, the cast‑iron seasoned, and the spirit of Defender’s Day alive in the hearts of those who still believe history deserves a hot meal.

For the cost of a single spatula, you could help a volunteer become a voluntold, for the price of a whisk, you could keep the chili stirring in the reenactment tent, and the cold out of our hearts.

Your purchase of an item from Pampered Chef kitchen doesn’t just buy cookware.

It buys hope.

The feeling, not the person.

(Hope, I know you read these, so here's your shoutout)

The deadline is August 30th.

https://www.pamperedchef.com/party/defendersdayprogram

08/27/2026

08/27/2026

Olafur Nelson

08/27/2026

Amanda Nebel

#‎onthisday‬ August 27, 1814: William Beanes and other Upper Marlboro citizens--including John Hodges--captured and jailed several rowdy British stragglers and deserters who had returned to the town following the burning of Washington, D.C. This incident started a chain of events that lead to the creation of the U.S. national anthem and the only known treason case during the .

In response to the arrests, British Major General Robert Ross took Beanes prisoner. Georgetown lawyer Francis Scott Key and the U.S. Prisoner Exchange Agent John Stuart Skinner sailed out to the British fleet to negotiate Beanes’s release. While they were successful, the Americans were detained to prevent them from reporting the British plans to attack Baltimore. They sailed with the British to the Patapsco River. There, they watched the bombardment of Fort McHenry, which inspired Key to write what would become “The Star-Spangled Banner.” John Hodges's story took a different turn. When the British came back to Upper Marlboro to collect the arrested soldiers, they threatened to “lay the town in ashes” unless their men were freed. Hodges reluctantly arranged their release. He was subsequently indicted for treason—the only known case from the war. He was later found: "Not Guilty; the ‘circumstances under which he acted formed a good and sufficient excuse.’”

📸 illustration of citizens arresting a solider; caption: local citizens arrested British soldiers for looting. (c) Gerry Embelton

08/27/2026

Compatriots, if you do only one thing this Defenders' Day, make it a visit to the Baltimore Battle Monument. It stands as a beautiful, lasting testament from the Old Defenders of Baltimore Town honoring the sacrifice of the common soldier!

Got a picture of the monument? Share it below in the comments!

08/27/2026

HELLOOOO CITIZENS!

It’s your favorite over‑caffeinated postcasting entity transmitting LIVE from a perceptually relativistic Giedi Prime, where the past is loud, the future is unclear, and your kitchen tools are about to reach maximum power.

Asquith’s/ The Pi/e Crew is teaming up with Pampered Chef for a fundraiser that ends AUGUST 30, and we need YOU (yes, YOU, the one holding the phone like it’s a remote from the 1900’s)

Do you crave:

Living History Action!

Community!

The thrill of supporting Defender’s Day without leaving your house?!

Do you hate constant streams of modernity?

Do you want to see The Battle of North Point NOT being reenacted with just broken spatulas and existential dread?

THEN BOY DO WE HAVE A DEAL FOR YOU!

Order a kitchen tool! ANY kitchen tool! and you’ll be supporting the reenactors, interpreters, volunteers, and all the glorious civiosity that makes Defender’s Day so.. (insert any tubular anachronistic colloquialism )

It’s easy! It’s helpful! It’s chronologically responsible!

SHOP NOW!

Operators and interpreters are both metaphorically and spiritually standing by.

Fundraiser closes AUGUST 30. Don’t let history down!

08/25/2026

The Department of Emerging Adventurers in conjunction with the Chrono‑Patriotic Oversight Committee for Applied Anachronism on behest of Asquith’s announces the continuation of its Annual Reenactment Stabilization Drive, a volunteer based initiative that ensures the 40th Anniversary of Defender’s Day proceeds without bureaucratic catastrophe.

Dear Citizens, your contributions sustain the reenactment field, strengthens the community, and ensures that the story of Baltimore’s defense remains accessible, authentic, and alive.If you enjoy living history, interpretive chaos, and the sweat and smiles that arise when civic mischief meets existential absurdity, consider supporting the work that keeps it alive.

Funds assist with:

– site logistics and historical interpretation
– maintenance of uniforms and equipment
– educational outreach and volunteer support

Citizens of a somewhat sound mind and a flexible definition of chronology are encouraged to participate.

Please Gift Today ^.^

(Perks available!!!)

Join me in supporting Dundalk Patapsco Neck Historical Society: https://go.rallyup.com/defdaycrowdfund2026

08/23/2026

Field Notice — August 23, 1–4 PM

Aisquith's/ The Pi/e Crew will be deployed to Historic Hancock’s Resolution tomorrow under routine chronal excursion protocols, in an attempt to assist with the annual commemoration of the Lion of Baltimore.

These historical illumination procedures will be conducted under standard paradox‑mitigation guidelines. All participants should anticipate mild anachronistic turbulence and report any temporal anomalies to the nearest interpretive officer.

(There's always one and they're always open to interpretation)

Expect living history demonstrations, War of 1812 explanations, as well as, both scheduled and unscheduled encounters with period‑appropriate humans.

Please refrain from approaching the Fox Holes.

Hancock’s Resolution
2795 Bayside Beach Road, Pasadena, MD
1 PM – 4 PM