09/07/2026
The cultural whiplash is a bit whiplashy.
Behind us is a country who is culturally accepting of normalizing sloth and poor hygiene for the children. And now we’re surrounded by families with live in Nannies (Yayas)
I got asked by a mom at school who is an immigrant to the Philippines what I think about the Yaya culture. We talked about how she felt obligated to get one because of the cultural expectations.
I told her, ask me a year from now.
We chose to move to the Philippines because the US culture for child-rearing is strange. One small example is teaching our kid to take a bath everyday was somehow viewed as excessive to other families at school.
Whether it was in school or in the clinic, parents would ask me how to address their kids’ low motivation or quickness to take a break or give up from simple tasks. But when I got to asking what expectations do you have for them at home? A lot of times, there were no expectations.
We have to remember our own childhood. Take time to remember how did you learn you what your liked, what you didn’t like, what you were good at, what you weren’t good at.
I hear about kids needing more sensory input, so parents buy toys marketed to fulfill sensory needs. But I ask, do these kids feel vegetables and fruits? Do they fold laundry to experience the textures of clothes? What about putting away the groceries, to lift things within their abilities?
People make money off of pathologizing children. The US healthcare system profits off of pathologizing children.
Now that I’m here, Filipinos talk about children na walang kusa. There’s a curiosity around maybe they need therapy or mental health services. I’m all about mental health advocacy. But when all obstacles are removed from a child, from a human development standpoint, that leaves no room to develop self-concept.
It’s our challenges, no matter what size, that helps shape who we are. So whether you’re watching this from the US or Philippines, give your kids things to do.
Teach them what it’s like to learn new things and