Anita Valdez Coaching

Don’t depend on someone else to make you feel secure, loved, or happy because the moment they are no longer around, you’ll lose that security, love and happiness.

Instead create your own security, love and happiness. Then you’ll be able to take it wherever you go.

It’s a lot more empowering that way too 😊

It’s not your job to like me- it’s mine. -Byron Katie

When we like/love ourselves, we have our own backs. We trust ourselves. We know that no matter what happens, if we encounter negative situations or people that we can always choose to be kind, compassionate and loving to ourselves. We don’t ever have to be hard on ourselves. Or beat ourselves up with unkind words.

And when we love ourselves, it opens us up to compassion and love for others.

💛💛💛

Interested in learning more, let’s talk! DM for a free consultation.

As humans we naturally are meaning making machines.

What the hell does that mean?

😂 It means…

we take neutral circumstances, like someone not texting back, or someone not greeting us with a smile and make it mean something, like “she doesn’t like me” or “they must be mad at me”.

In other words we create stories about facts.

And then we believe these stories so deeply as if they are facts when they’re not.

Some stories we tell ourselves can be helpful…

But some stories just don’t serve us and can be hurtful and painful.

The good news is we can change the stories we tell ourselves, if we want to.

We have control of our thoughts and we create our feelings, by how we choose to interpret the facts.

If you want to stop feeling hurt by a painful story, try separating the facts from the stories.

This creates some space to look at the circumstances differently and to choose thoughts that will serve you better.

If you’re curious to learn more, let’s chat.

As a coach, I help my clients regain their power by deciding what they want to think and what they want to make it mean.

I’d love to work with you. DM me.

Your relationship with yourself is based on your thoughts about yourself.

What kind of relationship do you have with yourself?

I know that when I default to perfectionist thoughts I can be hard on myself sometimes… so I have decided that I don’t have to ever put myself down again.

I can instead deliberately spend time acknowledging, loving and encouraging myself. 🤍

Just like what a best friend would do. 👯‍♀️

I can be my own best friend.

It’s made life so much easier.

I cheer myself on! 🥳

Yes, thats me giving myself a high five in the mirror. Haha 😛

It might be silly to high five yourself or talk to yourself with encouragement at first…I get it. And also what I’ve found, is that it’s a much more fun way to live life 🤩

Curious to learn more. Or to perhaps improve your relationship with yourself? Let’s talk. I’d love to help out. DM me.

Sometimes when we are feeling down we start to question our worth…

Just a friendly reminder my friends:

You were born worthy.
There is nothing you or anyone can do to take your worth away.
You will always be worthy.

Love ya❤️

As always, I am here for you.
You know where to find me 😊

Ho’oponopono

I’m Sorry,
Please Forgive Me,
Thank You,
I Love You.

I pray this every morning…
I repeat it several times.

I even prayed it last night (repeating it like a mantra) when I woke up in the middle of the night; it helped me fall peacefully back to sleep. 😴

I had heard about this prayer years ago…and recently it came back to my memory.

Ho’oponopono is an ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness and reconciliation.

The story of Dr. Len is so inspirational too; he healed patients at a mental health facility by just repeating this mantra, without having to treat them at all 🤯

“I just kept saying, ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’ over and over again. Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and as you improve yourself, you improve your world.”
— Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len

Truth!

I believe it.

It starts with us.

Self-love…

Self-improvement…

can improve our world around us. 🌎

I pray for peace in the world. A song just popped in my head… 🎶 let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me 🎶

It begins with me. ✨

It’s been a while for me here. I’d love to hear from you. Share your thoughts and comments. DM me. Lets talk.😊

As always if you want to dive deeper, we can set up a consultation. DM me if you’re interested. 💛

Last Christmas, I had a “Home Alone” experience…

I was quarantining after being exposed to Covid-19. 😣

Initially, I was sad because I was thinking about how lonely it would be.

I have a big family and I’m usually with them…we go to mass, play games, dance, sing, & eat tamales.

“How could I ever enjoy Christmas home alone?” 😩

I started to accept it was just gonna suck. And I blamed Covid for ruining my Christmas.

I even blamed myself for not being more careful. 😑

Then I read an article on how so many people would be spending Christmas alone due to Covid-19.

I became curious…

It asked “When will you ever have an opportunity to do whatever you want on Christmas?” 💡

And I was like, whoa! 🤔

I get to do whatever I want!!

I made cookies, took a long lavender bubble bath, watched Christmas movies and even watched my nephews and nieces open their gifts via Zoom.

My sister dropped off a plate of food. 🥰

As I sat to eat the meal, I said a little prayer & that’s when I felt like Kevin praying over his mac and cheese dinner.

I ended up having such a peaceful and relaxing Christmas.

I was so grateful because I was enjoying Christmas home alone. 😮

Wow. That was something I initially didn’t think could be possible.

A shift in perspective was my Christmas miracle. 🎄✨

You too can enjoy what a shift can do in your life (in any situation)

1. Get curious/ ask questions: this helps open you up to other options, possibilities and perspectives.

2. Instead of blaming others or something outside of yourself for your suffering…Ask what can I control?
3. Then take responsibility for your thoughts, feelings & actions. If you’re sad its ok to feel sad. If you don’t want to accept any other perspective, thats fine too. But remember it’s your choice.
4. Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to blame yourself or be mean to yourself, ever!

The good news my friends is that we can control our thoughts; how you view a situation and what you make it mean is all up to you.

Remember your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings motivate your actions.

Enjoy your Christmas 😘

You have the answers within you.

Something I love about coaching is that as a coach I do not give advice or tell my clients what to do. We explore options, but its up to my client to decide for themselves what their next steps will be.

I could not possibly know absolutely what would be the best thing for my clients…

but you know who knows what’s best for them?

They know.

You see we all hold the answers within.

We have only forgotten that we possess inner wisdom within ourselves and/or have not practiced trusting the answers from within…

Because we are conditioned to seek answers, acceptance, and permission outside ourselves.

There is nothing wrong with consulting with others when uncertainty hits.

It’s nice to know that we have the option to consult ourselves as well.

Our inner wisdom, I call it the Holy Spirit.

Some people call it God, source, spirit, highest self or a knowing.

Whatever you call it, its inner wisdom and it’s within you.

How do you tap into that inner wisdom?

It’s simple.

Pause and get still.

Then quiet yourself to listen. To get clear.

I ask a question before getting completely still and quiet.

I sit with feet flat on the floor, and close my eyes.

You can follow your breathe if you want.

Sometimes I sit for 5mins, 10mins or 20mins; however long is fine.

Sometimes I get an answer and sometimes I don’t. I don’t make it mean anything bad if didn’t get an answer.

I just continue to get still later or the next day.

The more you practice the easier it becomes.

My favorite prayer before getting still that I learned in a meditation class is “Be still and know I am God. Be still and know. Be still. Be.”

I’ve been blown away with the guidance and inner wisdom of the spirit within me. ✨

The best part of this whole experience for me is trusting myself and the Holy Spirit within me.

I don’t have to rely on someone else or something outside of me for acceptance, permission or answers.

I trust myself to make the best choice for me.

Share your experience in the comments or DM me if you want more info or support 😊

This is the part I feel anxious…And it's ok.

Anxiety woke me up today.

Initially, I was like, “NOooo, Anxiety! Go away!” 😣

Cause anxiety does not feel good.

It feels sh*tty sometimes.

To me it’s like this uneasiness and I even feel sick to my stomach sometimes.

I’ve lived with anxiety for a long time… I can remember my relationship with anxiety began in 1st grade.

I thought I had to deal with it, get over it, try to do something else to forget about it. And thats how I coped with it for a long time.

I hated anxiety!

Not until recently has my relationship with anxiety changed.

I have to consciously remind myself of this new way of thinking and being with anxiety because my initial response is to avoid it or resist it.

So I remind myself…

Anxiety is not a pest, to shoo away.

Nothing has gone wrong.

Feeling anxious is not a problem unless I make it a problem.

So when it woke me up, I treated it differently.

I welcomed it to jump onto the bed and share space with me, as if it were my little friendly pet.

“Hi, Anxiety. Come on up, I hear you, I see you, I feel you.”

And you know what anxiety did?

Nothing.

It was just there.

And you know what I did?

I let it be.

I let it be with me. For as as it needed to be.

And then… it was gone.

And I fell back to sleep.

You see anxiety (and any other feeling) wants to be acknowledged and accepted as part of us.

And when we do, the feeling is not as bad as we imagine it to be.

It actually dissipates and passes through us.

When I stopped viewing it like a pest (something I fear and I want to get rid of) and more as a pet (something I love, enjoy, and I make time and space for) I began to have a different relationship with anxiety.

When you acknowledge it, allow it, and feel it, you have transformed your relationship with it.

What kind of relationship do you have with anxiety?

Do you view it as a pest or a pet?

Do you fear it or accept it?

Would you like help to transform your relationship with anxiety (or any undesired feeling)?

Let me know. I’d love to help.

Sign up for a free consultation. Link in bio.

(Quote: )

I used to have frequent recurring dreams that I lost my purse.

I remembered the anxiety and panic when I realized I lost my purse.

I was so afraid because I felt like I had lost everything! My ID, my credit cards, cash…

Then I felt ashamed when I thought “How could I be so stupid? So irresponsible? So forgetful? So distracted?”

That’s about the time I would wake up…

Phew 😌 It was only just a dream.

I googled the dream interpretation for losing your purse: It means fear of losing your identity.

🤔Hmmm…interesting.

I subconsciously was afraid of losing who I am.

Hold up.

I am just, at this moment realizing something.

Damn.

*haha*

F*ucking Amazing! 🤯

My subconscious mind has been trying to communicate this to me. And I am just getting its clear message right now.

*deep breath*

Oh, weee…

You see I am just realizing that in my conscious, waking life, I was afraid of losing people (specifically romantic partners). I was so aware of this.

But in my subconscious, dream life, I was afraid of losing myself 🤯 I was Not totally aware of this, until NOW!!

All this time, I was afraid of both but what really matters to me right now is my fear of losing myself…

And that I refuse, from this day forward, to lose myself by people-pleasing!

Can you blame me for wanting to just pause and hold myself right now… to tell myself, “Anita, honey, listen, for as long as I am living, you will never ever have to fear losing yourself again! I will not abandon you. I have your f*cking back, baby! We might fumble or slip, and I will still be there to remind you that you are the only, uniquely designed Anita Valdez. I love you.”

Omg, I am having the “Me and myself: We are till death do us part” moment that Glennon Doyle explained in her book, Untamed, right now.

F*uck Yeah!!

This is what it is like to f*cking trust yourself completely.

This is huge.

Excuse me…

this calls for celebration!🥳

The world needs more women to trust themselves. Who’s with me? Let’s do this! 🎉

Look at this handsome fellow 😍

He is the most interesting tiger in the world…

And he is also a postcard 😝

He is off to spread joy to whoever gets to meet him along his journey to his final destination: a Kindergarten classroom in Texas.

You see he was last seen with the gingerbread man. I tried to get the gingerbread man in the photo with him but you know that gingerbread man, well he is just too fast. 💨😆

When I look at the most interesting tiger in the world, I think of my mission in life:

To share my joy and have fun✨

Want some joy today?

Ask yourself: how can I be more playful today?

EnJoy! 😉🥳🤩