Oh, to See

In Enneagram work we typically move from Unawareness➡️Awareness with Judgment➡️Awareness without Judgement, and this is where the radical change occurs.

Many of us get stuck in the With Judgment stage. We think if we can just judge ourselves hard enough and with enough consistency, we will change. Healing and change do not happen under the iron fist of the self critic.

Others of us try to ignore or hide the parts of ourselves that are in need of healing. If we can just manage ourselves well enough, maybe others won’t see our flaws, and we can pretend they don’t exist.

David Benner puts the path forward beautifully in his book, Gift of Being Yourself—

“Genuine transformational knowing of self always involves encountering and embracing previously unwelcome parts of self….we pretend they do not exist and hope they will go away…. When we do so, however, these unwanted parts of self do not go away. They simply go into hiding….

Christian spirituality involves acknowledging all our part-selves, exposing them to God’s love and letting him weave them into the new person he is making. To do this, we must be willing to welcome these ignored parts as full members of the family of self, giving them space at the family table and slowly allowing them to be softened and healed by love and integrated into the whole person we are becoming.”

💛 What parts of yourself are in need of being welcomed and brought before God’s healing love?

New year, new headshots! 🎉

Happy new year, everyone! May this be a year of greater love, greater clarity, greater courage—and most of all, of greater awareness of God’s deep love for you!

[Special thanks to for these gorgeous shots, as well as a great headshot experience! Thanks Jess!!]

Want to love your friends and family well in this holiday season—in a way they’ll really hear?

Here are a few ways the various Enneagram types want to be loved!

💚 What would you add based on your type?

You may be able to answer this from a theological/mental level—but how does your heart answer this question?

Does your heart really believe you’re beloved, accepted, cherished, and enjoyed by God?

Or do your all-too-familiar lies seem to wind up “in God’s mouth”?

The love of God is our reality, but it’s too often quite difficult to accept, so we settle for our own thoughts of ourselves—and somehow believe God has those same thoughts of us.

I’m hard on myself. I tell myself I’m not doing enough, not making enough effort in my relationship with God. When my self-critic is strong, I come to believe God criticizes me as well. (How silly to think my perspective would be God’s perspective!)

Yet, instead of criticism, God says “I’m already here with you. You don’t need to try harder or do more, just turn and enjoy me. I love just being together!!”

What self-talk ends up coloring the way your heart feels God sees you?

Can you talk to Him about this?

We each have a gift, placed at the core of who God has made us. This gift is meant for us, and to be given to the world. (1) A desire for reformation of all things to their very best/ (2) an ability to care for others with great intuition/ (3) a competency and drive that allows us to work and show up in life with excellence/ (4) a connection to beauty and meaning that helps us make sense of ourselves and the world/ (5) a curious mind that allows us to consider new and better ideas/ (6) a loyal attentiveness to our people and a desire to make sure they are well cared for/ (7) an ability to bring joy, light, and new ideas to any situation/ (8) a strength that desires that none would be vulnerable or taken advantage of/ (9) a peacemaking spirit that welcomes all with great gentleness.

BUT somewhere along the way, this gift gets overemphasized, overused, and takes over control. Something that was meant to freely flow and bless the world became something we HAD to use to survive, to get what we so desperately crave—affirmation, security, and/or control.

What was a gift, became our unconscious master. What was meant to serve us and others, enslaved us. And we live much of life unaware of the reach of our personalities’ control.

Enneagram coaching helps us realize how our personalies have come to control us. It helps us gain awareness, so that we might make more informed choices about how we show up in the world. It’s not magic, but I’ve seen the Holy Spirit use it again and again to help us find freedom—and live more in a place of freely-offered gift.

🌿 Companionship on the spiritual journey which seeks to support a person’s ability to hear God’s voice, notice His movements in his/her life, and respond to this communicating God. The goal is deeper insight into both self and God, in a way that leads to greater honesty and intimacy in this vitally important relationship.

To explore how Spiritual Direction creates space for intimacy and conversation with God, or to find out more about me as a Spiritual Director, check out to ohtosee.com/spiritual-direction!

🌿 Companionship on the journey, using the Enneagram personality system, to more clearly see and understand yourself—and others. The goal is to gain insight into the nuances of your personality and experiences—both the gifts you offer those around you and the ways you are stuck in the ruts of your personality, to the detriment of yourself and others. Coaching can be an individual journey—or one you share with another person, or team of people, in order to cultivate deeper understanding, respect, and communication.

To learn what makes Enneagram Coaching so beneficial or what makes me unique as an Enneagram Coach, check out my website at ohtosee.com/enneagram-coaching!

Hello! 👋🏻 My name is Stacey Cooper, and I’m all about helping people TO SEE!

It’s hard work to truly see and understand ourselves—and even harder work to change old habits. It’s frustrating to have the same old disagreements and misunderstandings with those we love. It can be disheartening to feel like intimacy with God is nowhere to be found in the pace and noise of life. (Anyone feeling these extra strong during the holiday season? 🙋‍♀️)

Oh, to See! is an expression of desire—my desire, and hopefully yours—to truly see ourselves, others, and God in our lives. It is a yearning for clarity and insight—that enables us to move forward with intentionality.

To learn more about my work as an Enneagram Coach and Spiritual Director, check out my website, Ohtosee.com!