Brandy Ray Cobbs, LCSW Professional ADHD Coach, and Consultant

08/28/2024

For those with teens in HS or College or any woman you know, this is an awesome series that comes from the book “The Gift of Fear”. By Gavin de Becker.

Share your videos with friends, family, and the world

11/07/2023

I did a very ADHD thing tonight, but I wound up stepping out of my comfort zone despite the goof up. So, I attended my first City hall meeting to support the family of Steve Perkins and add a face to the growing list of very upset citizens at the outrageous actions of Decatur Police, and as a first time attender, i saw a list of signatures at the entrance yo the meeting room and thought it was a log of attendees.

Weeeel, turns out its a list of those wanting to speak. And i was the last one to sign.
So I have just watched family members of those killed in September and those who were directly impacted but also those who want the city to stand up and do what is right. And earlier someone mentioned a parable of sitting on the fence.

So there I went. 2 hrs and 27 min into this meeting. Had i known, i would have been a nervous wreck. But sometimes, even by accident, or our own lack of paying attention, we get the chance to speak up for someone else. We can do it. We are passionate people. And we know what it feels like to be misjudged.

November 6, 2023

10/28/2023

For those who are fighting for justice for Steve Perkins, for Decatur City Hall /City Council members, DPD, and for those who may be waiting until the investigation is complete to say how wrong the shooting of Steve Perkins was, please read the following.

Regardless of any arrests or what body cams say, a seven year old girl was in the house where her daddy was shot 18 times on her front lawn. She has to live in that house. She knows the police did this. Now imagine this little girl going to school and having school based cop show up in uniform. Do you think she is scared he may shoot her too, or her mom, and do you honestly think this baby will go to a policeman if she is ever lost or has car trouble.

Imagine she goes to walmart with her uncle and there is a patrol car there waiting for someone to get caught shoplifting. You know she is thinking, what if they shoot my uncle. You say, why would they do that if he isn’t trying to steal something? Well, you see, her daddy wasn’t stealing anything either. He just walked outside to see what the noise was, why the dogs were carrying on.
To protect the children inside his house asleep. This little girl, asleep.
You think when a car backfires, or when there are fireworks at a distance, she will jump thinking someone is trying to shoot someone she loves?

Multiply this one child by all the children like a young 16 yo black teen and Jr in HS, Varsity Football player, like Jaiden DeJarnett who was likely so scared of getting stopped by a white cop in the early morning hours that he chose to keep driving after being chased for almost an hour and died when he lost control of his car, wrapping it around a tree. Again, dead because a cop was so upset about someone not stopping that he got all the ID info and still led a chase through two counties even when he could have called it off and met the child at his home the next day.

If this were your kid, wouldn’t you hope that the child would see the cop as just there to make sure he was safe and ok, maybe give him a ticket, a lesson learned to use a blinker next time or whatever the original traffic stop was for (hopefully not just for driving while black). But in reality, thats not what happens. When TV news shows the death of people like George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, or Elijah McClain (see comments for story) at the hands of cops (or knees, or ketamine after a wrongful arrest) these kids living with generations of stories of police brutality see their own face in these news stories, or the face of their loved ones.

As a retired child abuse and neglect social worker of 25 yrs, and therapist, what the police are doing when they use unneccessary displays of force or in this case deadly force, IS child abuse. They are inflicting unnecessary trauma on young people to distrust the one office that is supposed to protect and serve. These people the police harm or kill are parents, aunts and uncles, godparents, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters, and spouses. Any child related to the one killed will have a hard time trusting anyone in a uniform. Do you know how many kids are effected by one killing by police? Multiply that by the number of police killings each year and the amount of children who see it in the news. Or hear their parents talk about it. That is a trauma that keeps spreading. Now imagine everytime another one occurs and makes the news, George Floyd is mentioned again or Breonna Taylor, Elijah McClain or Steve Perkins or Jaiden DeJarnett, when the next shooting of an unarmed person of color (or any person for that matter) occurs. This has to stop!

https://www.childtrends.org/publications/reducing-adverse-police-contact-would-heal-wounds-for-children-and-their-communities?fbclid=IwAR15J8T-WL-z2Tqdxg6nt3oeb4DkOdAWevXDkywh8X24VRVc6u8kk9p3QiU_aem_ARdh-KtIDQmkgIsWgbt52ZGPStYqPaKDakYqwIs876TSIdxJ4s9xeX5m6dKhUhoqkFs&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

For many children and youth—especially those from communities of color—interactions with police and law enforcement officers constitute an “adverse police contact,” which we define as a source of physical and emotional harm that may have long-lasting effects. Adverse police contact is most l...

10/27/2023

https://www.facebook.com/1091262355/posts/10224660326710857/?mibextid=cr9u03

What role would you play if you lived in Salem, then? What about "Salem" now?

10/24/2023

https://tr.ee/YKmjt4_AN6

Thank you for your interest in Standing in Power (S.I.P)!

10/24/2023

Just declaring that
Comfort Lessons LLC
and its sole practitioner,
Brandy Ray Cobbs, LiCSW
stands for .

10/20/2023

As a social worker, poet and musician, it is amazing finally having open mic events in Decatur. These are grass roots not city planned events. Self care is vital for all who are protesting in any way they are able, watching the ring cam videos over and over, experiencing trauma first hand or secondhand, we have to do what fills our cup even, and especially during these days of City hall meetings and protests and supporting the Perkins family and for all those grieving the loss of a man who was an asset to this community in addition to being a good husband and daddy, brother, coussiiin and friend.
So here goes….

Poets and musicians (and comedians) with a message or who just need to express themselves with their poetry music or comedy to get their emotions out and/or their message across, there are two events this coming week to do so. This Saturday (tomorrow the 21st) at XEO at 7 pm Open Mic put on by Southeastern Diversity Project (Beth who got thousands of stickers printed and handed out at protests) with Mulan Throneberry playing after the open mic is over(8 possibly).

The next opportunity is Wednesday Oct 25 at 6 for the jazz band and 7 for the open mic at Highpointe Market on 2nd Ave. This one will also be for adults only (R rating just this month) . Although you may still be preaching to the choir in this group, there will be many there who may video and share but will also be an encouraging and supportive crowd.

Please remember to keep feeding your soul and filling your tank for this marathon we seem to be embarking on for the movement to get .

10/19/2023

Poem for all who are standing for justice and and asking that our communities stand beside them to fight against oppressive practices, laws, attitudes in government, and in our own neighborhoods.

Of Salem, Then

What fear must they, of Salem, then,
have read upon thy neighbor’s face;
a furrowed brow, suspicious glance,
goose-pimpled flesh on blameless race?

Such affliction known as fear
lay pox to soul of flawless skin,
on those who told what was not true,
accusing neighbor, sister, friend?

What fear must they, of Salem, then,
have read upon thy neighbor’s face;
the same as seen by Europe’s Jews
and those who dared to shield the race?

What fear have they, who native born,
don hat and glove in fear of tan,
who fake their faith lest be accused
then stripped of culture, language, land?

And here are we, mere centuries hence
in witches garb on Hallow’s Eve,
while lies we tell, now to ourselves,
that monsters then we’ll never be?

What fears hold they, in Salem towns
across the world, or near our kin
and what would we proclaim in court,
to shield our child, to save our skin?

What fear have we in Salem now
to disagree then be disgraced
by those convinced of their own ways,
who persecute another race?

Much fear, I say, for what if we
become the race that shouldn't be,
or hear the drum of liberal mind,
or swim against the raging sea?

Much fear, I say, if we, naive,
think ourselves much differently
than witness, judge, in Salem, then,
or witch accused by our own kin.

I wrote this in 2010 but it is as much relevant today as it was in the 1600’s for each group since that was persecuted afterward.



https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1718589-Of-Salem-Then?rfrid=branhr&fbclid=IwAR3ZXrHWYJR9SffqkwcCTmP-UHaCGi5eqLQPBKJuRYbZmtEuqKGknnVUgoE_aem_AW2VJkscrn5c85lZKQl8Z50VWO30m2Dr6GPciQlDMw3y2SpSQkqGygsZfVBYRC1eXrs&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

What role would you play if you lived in Salem, then? What about "Salem" now?

10/11/2023

I have been keeping my personal and professional pages pretty separate during the recent events in Decatur, but for anyone who would like to know more about what is going on, please enter the following into your FB search box.



Warning…some videos you may pull up could be traumatizing.

I wanted to offer my Betterhelp link for anyone who needs to engage in some short term therapy that has been following this tragedy and is dealing with some secondary trauma from this and the current wars being televised lately.

See my “about” section for my personal BH link (didn’t want to put an ad to the messages requesting justice for this man’s family. )

09/30/2023

Second try on this one. Made it with 2 days to go (after extending the time frame, lol). Last time I ran out of days with 2 miles to go. Progress, not perfection. And for ADHD, this site is a fun way to get your steps and learn something about other cultures and countries. Curiosity is a great motivator.

Your next adventure awaits! Choose a virtual challenge to keep you motivated and achieve your fitness goals.

09/28/2023

I have increased my hours and days available on Betterhelp where I do therapy. If anyone is interested but didn’t find the right times for them, I am going to start adding Monday afternoons and Friday mornings. I was doing only Tues-Thursday hours. IM me if you have any questions.

See my direct Betterhelp link in comments section and at the bottom of this post.

I am also continuing to offer ADHD/Executive Function Coaching and have completed the training to do LBSW, LMSW, and LiCSW Supervision. I still have a few steps to go before taking Supervisees but it is coming soon!
Contact me for any of the above. Look forward to sharing what I offer.

Betterhelp link:

https://www.betterhelp.com/brandy-cobbs/?fbclid=IwAR0-pSSjgx4rJTHKS6CU0zEscAajHJHffVXRSGCuJ3cq-0cVlEheVu-lpL8_aem_AWqN_MuO8OSDgpevRb5czTN3AqQB696LXkgJZ6ul63CPpXd4vAdD9v0DXgZ_COqnZUI&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

09/28/2023

For those who are coaches and therapists, and have ADHD, i want to share this article.
Finally, someone admits that it is ok to share certain experiences in your own life in a therapeutic setting because we must be authentic humans and our clients can tell when we aren’t.

This paper is based on the premises that the conscious, active and purposeful use of self by the therapist in the therapeutic process is an essential aptitude in establishing an effective therapeutic relationship, and that this therapeutically purposeful use of self can and should be incorporated in...