08/14/2026
Understanding and Agreeing are NOT the Same
In a recent session with my Dad’s group, we touched on a topic that isn’t talked about very much. It is common advice to “seek understanding” during a conflict conversation. Today’s asks you to examine what you really mean when you say “understanding”?
The secret is, most of us actually mean “I want you to agree with me” when we say “I want to make you understand”. This is not conflict resolution; this is a subtle way of trying to control. How? Because when you want someone to agree with you, you are really wanting them to think or act in the same way you would.
Don’t worry, recognizing this pattern doesn’t mean you are a “control freak”. In fact, seeing is the first step to CHANGING that pattern and doing something different. We are all guilty of this type of thinking. Instead, work on actually seeking understanding. This looks like both parties being able to see the other’s perspective, EVEN IF you don’t agree on the situation. That is the key to healthier conflicts.
Today’s lesson is a little trickier to get, so please feel free to leave any questions in the comments.
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‼️ Remember, is only for entertainment and does not provide medical advice. Always consult your physician or mental health professional for guidance.