Parenting on the spectrum

08/12/2026

Everyone needs help from time to time—especially now.

Rent has gone through the roof, grocery prices are out of control, and everyday bills feel overwhelming. You’d think there would be more support available, but instead, vital resources and assistance keep getting cut or taken away. It often feels like the people making the laws have no idea what it’s actually like to raise a family, pay rent, cover insurance, and keep up with everything our kids need.

As many of you know, our family raises a 14-year-old on the spectrum. We know firsthand how hard life can be, how difficult it is to navigate these challenges, and how tough it is when the support we rely on gets pulled out from under us.

While we can’t fix the whole system overnight, I want to do something real to help our community directly.

I recently saw an amazing idea in a car group I’m part of that uses mutual aid to support its members:

Everyone can voluntarily donate a few dollars to a dedicated community fund.

Once the fund reaches $1,000, a simple application/raffle process selects a member in need to receive those funds.

As soon as that person is helped, the counter resets, and the group starts building the next $1,000 pool!

It’s a straightforward, grass-roots system where real people support real people—no red tape, no impossible requirements, and no out-of-touch politics getting in the way.

I’m thinking about starting something similar for our community here, but I want to get your thoughts first!

Even though there are almost 2,000 of us here, this isn’t always a group that comments a lot—and that’s okay! But today, I’d love to hear from you.

What do you think about setting up a mutual aid fund like this?

Do you have any ideas on how we could make it work best for our community?

Drop a comment below with your thoughts or suggestions—I’m all ears! If this post spoke to you, please give it a like, drop a comment, and follow the page to stay updated on future posts. We're all in this together! 💙

08/11/2026

The Unfiltered Reality of Medicaid Waivers for Kids on the Spectrum 📋⏳

When parents first hear about a "Medicaid Waiver," it can sound almost too good to be true—a program that helps pay for critical home and community supports regardless of parental income.
The reality? Medicaid Waivers—specifically Home and Community-Based Services (HCBS) Waivers—are vital lifelines, but navigating the system requires immense patience, advocacy, and planning.
💡 What IS a Medicaid Waiver?
Normally, Medicaid eligibility relies heavily on household income. A Medicaid Waiver allows states to "waive" parental income limits so that children with developmental disabilities (like autism) can qualify based on their own financial status and institutional level of care needs.
The primary goal of these programs is to keep neurodivergent individuals in their homes and local communities rather than specialized institutional care settings.
🛠️ What Do They Actually Cover?
Medicaid Waivers go beyond basic doctor visits and standard health insurance coverage. Depending on your state, services can include:
* ⏸️ Respite Care: Funding for trained caregivers to give parents a much-needed break.
* 🏡 In-Home Personal Care: Assistance with daily living activities (grooming, self-care, safety supervision).
* 🗣️ Extended Therapies: Additional coverage for speech, occupational, physical, or behavioral therapies beyond private insurance limits.
* 🛠️ Home & Vehicle Modifications: Safety adaptations like ramps, sensory room adjustments, or specialized enclosures.
* 🚌 Community Integration & Transportation: Supports to help children and young adults participate safely in community activities.
⏳ The Hard Reality: Waitlists and Timelines
The most challenging part for families to digest is the timeline. Medicaid Waivers are not automatic entitlements; states cap the total number of individuals served.
* The Waiting Game: Depending on the state, waitlists can range from several months to over a decade. In many states, children put on a waitlist at age 4 may not receive actual waiver funding until late childhood or adolescence.
* Interest Lists: Getting on the "Interest List" or "Waitlist" as early as possible—often right at diagnosis—is critical.
🔗 Essential Resources & Links to Start
If you are starting this journey, here are key resources to locate your state's specific waiver programs:
* 🏛️ Medicaid.gov State Overviews: Search active HCBS waiver programs by state.
* 🧩 Autism Speaks HCBS Waiver Directory: A detailed state-by-state breakdown explaining wait times, eligibility, and local contacts.
* 🤝 Family Voices Network: Connects you with parent-to-parent organizations in your state who have navigated local waiver systems.
💬 Pro-Tip for Parents
Apply immediately—even if you think you might not need the full level of support today. It is far better to be moving up a waitlist than trying to apply in the middle of a family crisis.
Have you applied for a waiver in your state? How long was your waitlist experience? Share your insight in the comments to help other families navigate! 👇

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08/11/2026

Exploring Late-Identified Adult Autism: Is Self-Diagnosis Valid? 🧩✨

When raising neurodivergent kids, many parents experience an unexpected moment of clarity: "Wait... the way my child experiences sensory overload, hyperfocuses, or processes the world... that’s exactly how I felt growing up."
Because getting a formal adult autism assessment can cost thousands out-of-pocket and involve months on waitlists, self-diagnosis is widely recognized and accepted within the neurodivergent community.
Self-identification isn't just "guessing"—it’s often the result of months or years of deep research, reflecting on your childhood, and looking at how your brain actually operates once you take off the mask.
If you are exploring whether you might be on the spectrum, taking clinically validated self-screening questionnaires is one of the best first steps. While these online screeners cannot provide an official medical diagnosis, they use the exact same questions and scoring metrics that psychologists use during initial evaluations.
🛠️ Free Online Self-Evaluation Resources
Here are direct links to auto-scoring, clinically recognized tools you can take for free right now:
* 📊 Autism-Spectrum Quotient (AQ) Test on Psychology Tools
* What it is: A 50-item questionnaire developed by researchers at Cambridge University measuring traits across social skills, communication, and attention to detail.
* 📋 Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R) on Prosper Health
* What it is: An 80-question assessment designed specifically to pick up on subtle adult autistic traits, sensory processing differences, and lifelong preferences.
* 🎭 Camouflaging Autistic Traits Questionnaire (CAT-Q) on Embrace Autism
* What it is: Measures "masking"—the deliberate or subconscious effort adults use to hide neurodivergent traits in social settings to fit in.
💡 Tips for Self-Evaluating
* Think Lifelong, Not Just Today: When answering questions, reflect on your default reactions as a child or when you are completely relaxed at home, rather than how you force yourself to adapt at work.
* Save Your Results: Keep track of your numerical scores! They provide a great baseline for personal reflection or a solid foundation if you ever decide to pursue a formal assessment with a clinician down the road.
Whether your journey leads to formal clinical documentation or personal self-validation, your lived experience matters.
Have you taken any of these screeners during your self-discovery journey? Let us know in the comments below! 👇

08/11/2026

Why is it so hard to get an adult autism diagnosis?

(And why it’s still worth fighting for) 🧩
We often talk about the early intervention journey for our kids, but what happens when an adult realizes, "Wait... this sounds like me"?
More and more adults are seeking answers later in life, but the path to a formal diagnosis is anything but easy. If you or someone you know is trying to get tested as an adult, you’ve likely run into these massive brick walls:
🚨 The Barriers Adults Face
* The High Cost: Out-of-pocket testing for adults frequently ranges from $1,500 to $4,000+, and health insurance rarely covers adult evaluations.
* Lack of Specialized Clinicians: Most diagnostic tools and medical training were created for children. Finding a psychologist who truly understands adult presentations—especially high-masking traits—is like finding a needle in a haystack.
* Outdated Gatekeeping: Adults are often dismissed with phrases like, "You have a job and make eye contact, so you can't be autistic" or misdiagnosed with pure anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder.
* Years-Long Waitlists: Even if you find a specialist, waiting lists for adult assessments are routinely 6 to 18 months long.
It’s exhausting, expensive, and invalidating. So why do so many adults keep fighting through the system to get that piece of paper?
💡 Why an Adult Diagnosis IS Worth It
1. Transforming Self-Blame into Self-Compassion
For decades, late-diagnosed adults lived believing they were "lazy," "broken," "overly sensitive," or bad at being human. A diagnosis replaces a lifetime of shame with understanding. You aren't failing—your brain is just wired differently.
2. Legal Protection & Workplace Accommodations
A formal diagnosis unlocks rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). It allows you to ask for reasonable accommodations at work (like noise-canceling headphones, written instructions, or a quiet workstation) without risking your job.
3. Preventing & Recovering from Autistic Burnout
When you know you’re autistic, you stop forcing yourself into sensory-overloading environments or masking until you collapse. You learn how to build a lifestyle that accommodates your actual sensory and social capacity.
4. Finding "Your People"
Self-discovery opens the door to the neurodivergent community. Connecting with people whose minds work the exact same way you do is one of the most healing parts of the process.
5. Becoming a Better Parent
For neurodivergent parents raising neurodivergent kids, getting your own diagnosis creates a bridge of deep empathy. You understand their sensory meltdowns and rigidities on an experiential level because you lived it without support.
Whether you hold an official piece of paper or you're self-diagnosed out of necessity because of system barriers, your experience is real.
Did you get diagnosed as an adult, or are you currently trying to navigate the system? Share your story in the comments below 👇

08/09/2026

When you're trying to introduce healthy nutrients or probiotic-rich foods to a child on the spectrum, going 100% natural or unsweetened right out of the gate can be a quick path to refusal. Their taste buds and sensory alarms are usually turned all the way up!
That's where the flavor bridge technique comes in: using a familiar favorite—even if it has a bit of sugar—to cover up strong, unfamiliar tastes until they get used to it.
A perfect example: Lifeway Cultured Kefir Milk.
Kefir is packed with incredible gut-friendly probiotics, but it can have a sharp, tangy taste that many kids reject immediately. The solution? Pick up a flavored version (like Strawberry Banana) and mix in a splash of regular strawberry milk syrup or powder.
That little bit of extra sweetness masks the tartness, rounds out the flavor, and suddenly... they actually like it! Once it’s part of their routine, you can slowly dial back the sweet mix over time if you want to, or just keep it as a reliable wins-all treat.
A Few Other "Flavor Bridge" Ideas:
* The Dip Shortcut: If they won't touch raw or steamed veggies, try pairing them with ranch, honey mustard, or a mild sweet dip. The familiar sauce makes the texture of the vegetable much easier to accept.
* Melted Cheese Masking: Adding a bit of melted American or cheddar cheese over broccoli or cauliflower can hide the bitter tones of green veggies.
* Fruit & Peanut Butter Blend: Mix green superfood powders or flaxseed into peanut butter or chocolate hazelnut spread. The strong flavor of the spread completely overpowers the earthy taste of the add-ins.
At the end of the day, getting good nutrition and probiotics into our kids is the ultimate goal. If adding a little strawberry syrup or a touch of sugar makes that happen without a meltdown, that's a huge win in my book!
What are some clever ways you’ve masked stronger flavors to get healthy foods into your kid’s routine? Drop them in the comments!

08/09/2026

How do you get a child on the spectrum to try new foods?
If you’ve been on this journey for any length of time, you already know the answer to one common strategy: telling them in advance.
In theory, explaining that a new food is tasty or good for them sounds like the right move. In practice? Telling them usually triggers instant anxiety, a firm "NO," or a complete refusal to even come to the table. The moment the expectation is set, the defense mechanisms go up.
For many of our kids, new foods aren't just a matter of being "picky"—it’s sensory overload, texture sensitivity, or fear of the unknown. So when direct communication backfires, what actually works?
Honestly? Saying nothing at all and leaning into stealth mode.
Here are a few tried-and-true tips and tricks for introducing new foods without turning mealtime into a battle:
1. The Power of Blending and Pureeing
If your child struggles with food textures (like vegetables), a food processor or blender is your best friend.
* Sauces: Pureed carrots, zucchini, butternut squash, or cauliflower can easily blend into marinara, cheese sauces, or soups without changing the color or texture drastically.
* Smoothies: Spinach, avocados, or seed powders can be blended into fruit smoothies—especially if you use dark berries like blueberries or blackberries to keep the color familiar.
2. Swap Ingredients, Keep the Format
Don't change what the food looks like; change what’s inside it. If your child loves a specific, reliable food, keep the presentation identical:
* Use gluten-free or allergen-friendly substitutes in meatballs, meatloaf, or baked goods without making a big announcement about the change.
* Braid fine-ground or pureed veggies into pancake batter, muffins, or waffles.
3. "No-Pressure" Exposure (The No-Comment Strategy)
Instead of putting a new food on their plate and asking them to eat it, put a small dish of it in the center of the table or on your own plate.
* Don't point it out. Don't say "Look at this!"
* Just eat your own food calmly. Sometimes, taking away the pressure to try something makes them curious enough to reach over or ask about it on their own timeline.
4. Respect the Safe Textures
Pay attention to what textures your kid actually tolerates—crunchy, smooth, soft, or crispy. If they only like crunchy foods, trying to hide something in a soft texture won't work. Try baked veggie chips or crispy alternatives instead of soft purees.
Every kid on the spectrum is different, and what works one week might not work the next. But removing the pressure and keeping things familiar can take a lot of the stress out of mealtime for everyone.
What strategies have worked best in your house for introducing new foods? Drop your tips in the comments below!

08/09/2026

Most people don't realize the effects of an accident can be much more severe for our kids and teens on the spectrum. Something most people would recover from and not think about again can cause long lasting, even permanent fears.

08/09/2026

So once again, it has been a little while. I would love to post a few times a day or even a few times a week, but sometimes life just doesn't allow that to happen.
I wish I could do like so many others on Facebook and post that everything is great, life is good, and I don't have a care in the world. But that's just not the truth. If it is true for those people, I am really happy for them. But the fact of the matter is that life is hard. We, like many, are struggling more so now than several years ago. It's much harder to make ends meet now, and it would seem that the harder things get, the more money we all have to pay for things like rent, groceries, utilities, and even recreational activities.
And then lately, with what happened with our son and myself, it must have turned on a switch or something and made me start really thinking about things—things that I don't care to think about. What will happen if or when...
Neither my wife nor myself have any real close family. Both of our mothers passed away in the same year, in 2000. Her real father, who she never really knew because he didn't want anything to do with her since he had another family, died even before that. She went to go see him when he was dying, only to have one of his other daughters come out and say there was nothing for her there. 😢
My father is still alive, but he got remarried a few years after my mom passed. I understand that—no one wants to be alone. But the woman he married is a real evil w***h. One time when I was over at his place, she tried to trip our autistic son by throwing something in front of him when he was running. She didn't think anyone was watching, but I was. And when my dad gave us a little help when we were down and let us stay in an apartment he had, she told the elders of the church he went to (he is a Jehovah's Witness) that we were living there and were not married. They actually took privileges away from him in the church because of it. So yeah, she is a real piece of work.
But I'm getting away from my point. Sometimes I ramble on and get lost along the way. That's why many times I will use AI to help with my posts. When I tell it to rewrite a post, I tell it to rewrite for grammar and punctuation mainly, but it knows me well enough not to change anything, and especially not add or take anything out.
As I was saying, life is hard, and recently I have been pretty down. I guess it's depression. I have never been depressed, so I don't know, but it felt almost like a cold that you just can't get rid of no matter what you do. It was there with me, and it made me feel terrible. In fact, I still had the original infection that I had to go to the hospital for because the medicine they put me on wasn't strong enough to get rid of it. I had to go back to urgent care a few days ago to have them put me on a stronger antibiotic. I learned my lesson about the ER. After spending all night there when there wasn't even anybody in the ER, I decided I would not go back unless it was absolutely necessary. I found an urgent care closer than the hospital that had me in and out in 35 minutes! 😂
So I just wanted to say that I know it's hard. I know many are going through things that no one else understands—they can't, because it's not them going through it. We try to put on a happy face and act like nothing is wrong, and maybe we try to keep the problem to ourselves. That is what I have done for years: try to stay strong and not put my problems on anyone else. But I'm beginning to think that's not a very good idea. We all need help, and we all need someone to talk to sometimes, even if just to get something off our chests. I know there are hotlines and such, but if you're anything like me, I never really considered talking to a stranger a meaningful form of help.
I don't know many of you at all, but I am always here to listen. I may not understand exactly what it is you are going through, but I understand how we all need someone sometimes.
I'm not going to make many posts like this. I just wanted to let you know there is someone there who understands we have a lot on our shoulders. Eventually, I want to get to where I can help people with more than just information. I want to start a non-profit organization to help people raising children on the spectrum because I know about those extra costs—especially with food, special diets, food allergies, and picky eaters. It gets very expensive. We had our son on a GFCF diet for a few years and it really did help him. We still try to stick to that as much as possible, but we are not nearly as adamant as we used to be because everything has gotten so expensive, especially anything that is gluten-free.
I know gluten is a touchy topic with some people. Some people believe in it, some people don't, but I have seen firsthand that if he eats something with gluten in it, he acts totally different. I don't understand it, but I know it's true.
But there I go again, getting off topic. We hope you all stay safe and stay healthy. And if you start feeling down or depressed, please talk to someone. I know it made me feel better.

08/03/2026

Shout out to my newest followers! Excited to have you onboard! Tom Derringer

07/26/2026

So...2 hairline fractures....the doctor opted for the walking cast because he didn't think a real cast would work out so good considering..
I'm angry, angry this happened when it shouldn't have, when you tell someone( especially an EMT) you son needs just as much help getting down as he did getting in the ambulance and they just basically pull your child out so he hits his face on the concrete and breaks his ankle..and then tells him he needs to get up because he can't sit there all night....and doesn't even check him to see if he is ok, she totally ignores him inside the hospital when his legs are shaking and he looks like he's going to cry....I had to tell them he needs to sit down, anyone with half a brain could have seen that!
Goosfrava.......!!!