01/02/2022
Here are 10 things I wish I was given a heads up on before I started teaching:
1. Class birthday parties with the bright, store bought cupcakes. Bonus if it includes a cheap plastic ring on top that the kids immediately dig out of the icing. No amount of college will prepare you for the moment you watch a kid drop their cupcake, icing first, on the floor and then accidentally step on it.....
2. Multiple students with the same birthday that, nonetheless, fall on the same day as a class holiday party. So. Many. Cupcakes. 🤢
3. How to get used to finding brightly colored cupcake icing EVERYWHERE, including your nightmares, for the next 30+ years....
4. Wet paper towels can heal fatal injuries including, but not limited to, broken spines, paper cuts, heart attacks, and invisible bugs crawling on your face.
5. How to quickly put together a makeshift funeral for a deceased bird/insect near the playground.
6. How to handle the inconsolable children from said funeral. This won’t be from the animal actually dying but because you wouldn’t let them touch it afterwards.
7. How to maintain an appropriate facial expression when a student shows you the lizard they stuffed in their backpack at daycare a few days prior.
8. How to explain that a wet paper towel can’t bring the lizard back to life because it only works on humans..... (🥺)......
9. How to stop yourself from uncontrollably sobbing after reading “Oh The Places You’ll Go” to your kids and realizing how much they’ve grown since the beginning of the year.....
And, finally, #10. You’ll find some form of cupcake icing remnants as you pack for summer break and, oddly, it will comfort you. First, you’ll roll your eyes because you told them a billion times to be careful/food goes in your mouth and not on your friends or the floor 🙄 but then, you will find yourself smiling about how excited they were that day. You’ll remember the uncontrollable laughter, tears shed, fatal injuries healed, accomplishments made after several disappointments, and much needed hugs given/received.
This job isn’t for the faint of heart. You’ll have days where you wonder how you’re going to make it through the day without crying into your huge tumbler of Dr. Pepper. The kids will either get crazier, offer you a wet paper towel, or do something funny that will make you forget about everything else. You will then find cupcake icing 😅🙃🙄.
