Ashton Cantou

We have to remember that the way people perceive us and how they show up to us is always about their personal interpretations.

Their “truth” is always filtered through their lens. Which is often fogged by their own personal s**t. (Trauma, stress, unexpressed expectations, assumptions) The same is true for us. No one is an exception here.

We don’t have to agree with someone to be a supportive human. We can simply do our best to empathize and validate their emotions/feelings even if we disagree with their narrative.

We don’t have to take anything someone says or does personal (even when they make it personal).

Easier said than done, I know…your ego wants to protect you from judgement and criticism. It wants to defend and fight back.

Yet, your inner wise man/ woman knows to let other peoples’ s**t be theirs. We all have enough of our own mess to clean up to be taking on other people’s too.

So the key is just to continue to show up with as much integrity and love as possible.

The more often we practice this the more personal freedom and peace we will have.

The more we practice empathy and understanding for those who may criticize or judge the more we help break down the walls around their heart they’ve built to protect themselves.

If we love people well…we can even help to heal the wounds underneath their false projections.

Lastly, the more we focus on who we be and how we show up the more certainty, strength, and confidence we create within ourselves.

So again, I invite you to zoom out and to practice taking on the CEO perspective: become a compassionate empowered observer.

Do this for yourself and others because everyone is worthy of being seen without our own personal judgements weighing in.

I’ve been a little in my head about how to serve you all on here lately. I’ve had a video post for y’all ready to go since Friday. I’ve also had a few photos piled up.

BUT I boxed myself in saying “I shouldn’t post another picture of myself. I need to provide value.” (And the story I made up was that a picture wasn’t as valuable as my teaching) Then I sat on that video like an egg waiting to hatch, because I only made it because I felt like I had to. 👎🏽

Posting to post or because it’s expected is inauthentic to me. I understand esthetics and diversity are important, but I didn’t get into business to play by someone else’s rules so…

Here is the “value” I’d like to share, and it just happens to be attached to this cute little outfit. 😘

Trust yourself to post what/when you want and drop the stories that there is a right or wrong way to do this thing.

Share your heart, your love, and windows into your life when it feels resonate.

Let go of the expectations that it must be done a certain way. Remember, authenticity is always the best policy so if you are forcing or something feels dissonant it is. 🙅🏻‍♀️

Thanks to one of my amazing clients for your reminder today that being me is my job. 🥰

So here I am friends, you see me and I see you. Keep showing up and connecting back to you, no matter how many detours you might take along the way. Happy Monday! 💕

Feeling very spiritual gangster right now. 🙃✌🏽🤙🏽 In other words...

How do you forgive someone who is still causing you pain?

The backstory—> My papa has a rare terminal illness called multiple systems atrophy.

Back in Oct. of 2020, I went home to visit family. I got a call from my hysterical grandmother telling me that my dad was being rushed to the hospital, that he was bleeding to death.

I called his caregiver. No answer. I texted, no answer. I called every hospital in the city and drove to several, no one would release any information to me. They were told not to.

You see his caregiver has made up her mind about me based on who I was over a decade ago. They’ve made the decision that they will no longer inform me about the state of my father’s health. Along with multiple random assaults on my character.

I have a strong relationship with my dad, but sadly he can hardly speak.

In time I know he won’t be able to answer my calls or texts. In time I know that I won’t be able to be there for him even though that’s what we both desire.

I’ve bumped up against the reality that I might not even be informed if he passes.

3 years now and I haven’t been “allowed” to spend a single holiday with my dad.

This is HARD. Straight Cruel. It gives me every reason to feel angry and resentful to the person who is controlling this situation. While that definitely comes up a lot... I refuse to live there.

So I keep choosing to see the hurt beneath it all. A grieving human. A person who is misdirecting their pain. A sacred little girl who is grasping for control. Someone who may feel punished and is passing punishment on.

I practice forgiveness on a regular basis for this person. Sending love and gratitude to them. Releasing the poison of resentment from my heart and soul. I pray over them and wish them well.

This is HARD too. Forgiveness can be a painful process, but non of us can afford to hold onto an unforgiving spirit.

My emotional freedom comes From this practice combined with surrender. Because of forgiveness I can put my focus on loving others rather than my own wounds.

Who do you need to forgive? Forgiveness is medicine that you take to clear the block in you to loves presence.

If you truly loved yourself what would you do? Living from this question will change your life. All it takes is a simple shift and a willingness to see things differently. 💕✨

You owe it to yourself to become everything you dream of being. 💕✨

𝙑𝙞𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙯𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙖 𝙢𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩...

See yourself walking through life as an abundant woman.
You know your worth.
You know your power.
Your business or job is thriving.
You’re in love.
You’re in love with yourself.
You’re in love with life.
You’re in love with others.
You’re confident.
You’re glowing.
People can’t help but be drawn to you because you know who you are and you know what you’re worth.
You love and believe in yourself so deeply.
See yourself engaging with life knowing that the universe has your back and that God is on  your side.
Visualize yourself as the woman who is open to receiving, who is open to infinite possibilities.
You are the woman who is willing and ready to receive.
You are a woman who has released all her resistance to love and abundance.
You know you are worthy and deserving of it ALL.
You dance with life with ease, grace, joy, and flow.
You trust yourself and you trust life.
You look back at your life and think OMG how did I get here?
Believe it in your heart, believe that it is possible, and take a courageous step forward by embodying this woman right now by investing in yourself.
You are going to leave this program and continue to elevate for the rest of your life.

The Confidence Catalyst Sisterhood the program to unlock everything mentioned above. I’ve done it for myself and every one of my girls created something absolutely unfathomable from doing this work and stepping into their queen energy.

You will get both 1:1 coaching and group coaching, gain massive clarity, and undeniable results.

The breakdown of this experience is on the enrollment page now.

Payment options + details + testimonials: LINK IN BIO

PS: I have a special Early bird price available through tomorrow only!

It would be an honor to support you.

Are you in? Let me know!

Last night's masterclass was “AMAZING!” according to the beautiful souls that were able to join.

There are layers to this and lack of confidence goes far beyond the confidence you have in yourself! I was talking to Ross last night about how sneaky lack of confidence really is.

It actually wears a lot of masks. It’s not necessarily present in all areas of our lives. Sure, there is feeling outright insecure. Been there! 🙋🏻‍♀️Yet, there's also the breakout categories…

Maybe you feel confident in your personality, but struggle with body confidence?

Maybe you feel confident in your gifts, but not confident enough to assert yourself to make them known in your workplace?

Maybe you’re confident to be fully yourself around people you know & trust, but you dim & hide your authenticity from the rest of the world.

Maybe you haven’t thought of or as a lack of confidence, but let me paint the picture for you.

Any hesitation to execute when you peel back the layers shows an element of fear. Same applies with having to get things absolutely perfect.

When you get real with yourself, what are you truly afraid of? Failure? Rejection? Judgment? If you were fully confident in your abilities to achieve, pivot, or even rebound after a failure you wouldn’t hesitate. You’d dive right in and take a massive imperfect action.

The truth is, anytime we are moving up levels, trying something we haven’t tried before, or reattempting something we’ve failed at it’s scary. We can doubt ourselves because we don’t have proof of success yet, or we have substantial evidence of failed attempts.

What would you do if you weren't afraid? What kind of person would you show up as if you felt more secure, trusted yourself, and owned your power? What kind of people would you attract? How much further into your purpose would you step?

If you haven’t heard, I am hosting a FREE Confidence Catalyst Masterclass for ladies on Wednesday, May 26th at 5pm PST/ 8PM EST

Let’s ditch this sneaky little block and get out of our own way.  When you get the tools, support, and awareness required to show up as your highest self everything in your life begins to reflect back to you your level of confidence.

Link in my bio to join!

The will win is important, but the will to prepare is vital.

We know life is a marathon, not a sprint.

Yet for every journey preparation is key.

What will you do to set yourself up to win this week?

Tip #1...carve out sometime to plan your week.

I like to write out 3 goals. One for business, one for personal, and one relational.

Then schedule it all in. The actions that will move the needle to meet those goals. The self-care , business care, and relationship care. These things are a priority in addition too all the other tasks I get to do.

Tip #2 DO, DITCH, or DELEGATE. We can’t do it all. Often we put so much on our lists that we feel unsuccessful. Lock in the musts. Ditch the fluff. Delegate what you can.

Let’s set ourselves up to win this week!

Have an amazing day! Oh and drop your tips. Would love to hear what you do to set yourself up for success!