Kid Pastor's Notes

How many of you parents would only feed your child once a week? Sure, their energy level will decrease and they may even get sick. Let's say, every Sunday you took them to a restaurant and let someone feed them. Then for the rest of the week you did not allow them to eat until the next Sunday. Child cruelty? Police? Arrest? Jail? Yep! All the above. You would lose your kids!

NOW - In all reality, this is happening in most Christian homes! We come to church on Sunday and fill up, even our kids, but throughout the week we refuse to feed them truth to where they will have a biblical worldview. Instead they adapt a humanistic worldview. Parents are the blame. That's harsh but true. Dad's in particular. I know... ouch! Ephesians 6. Deuteronomy 6! IT'S STILL IN THE BIBLE AND IT'S STILL THE ONLY FORMULA THAT WORKS. Don't lose your kids.

A covenant revealing the nature of God

Marriage is important to God. Before any other institutions, prior to forming of he nations of the world and a long time before the church was born, God established marriage. The first humans were created as man and woman, and God revealed himself in the relationship between them. Marriage gave evidence of the unity in the Trinity and the love of God became visible.

All things created by God were good. But it was not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 2.18). Together male and female were created to be an image of God, as the Bible says: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1.27). Both man and woman were absolutely essential to form a true image of the Creator.

They were created with the same value. However, they possessed different qualities and complemented one another. Lifelong loyalty and sincere love between man and woman mirrored the faithfulness and love of God. The image of God becomes visible in spouses that are faithful and committed to love.

Therefore marriage is a lot more than an agreement, a contract or a way of living together. The Bible says that spouses are bound to one another by covenant (Malachi 2.14). Today many people have no idea about what a covenant really is, but this does not change the fact that marriage is a covenant relationship. The covenant binds each part to help and support the other far beyond the implications of an agreement or a contract. Two parts of an agreement are committed to make an even contribution. Failure of one part is synonymous with breach of contract and implies that the other is exempted from his or her legal obligations. On the contrary, a covenant demands that both parts yield a hundred per cent based on their own abilities.

Through the NATO covenant different nations are committed to military support each other in danger of war. This obligation is totally independent of any service the afflicted nation may give in return. During the cold war Norway was totally dependent on military enforcements from the much bigger and stronger nation USA in case of a possible Soviet invasion of Norwegian territory. The Americans could not expect a corresponding contribution from Norwegian forces if enemies were threatening American national interests.

Generally most newlyweds experience that both parts make an even contribution to the fellowship. However, in a lifelong marriage there may be periods when one spouse needs help from the other without ability to return the service. The covenant is a safeguard to secure the weaker part necessary help, support and love for better and for worse, in sickness and in health.

The fall of man was a tragedy that affected marriage as well. The image of God is obscured when we seek our own interests at the sacrifice of others. However, we are still created in the image of God. He has thoughts of peace, and not of evil, for our marriages. He blessed the first married couple and ordered them to be fruitful (Genesis 1.28). His blessing is still being poured over married couples and their children.

Persevering in Communication
Some parents lose their desire to communicate on a deeper level because their children reject their opinions, feelings, or initiative. That hurts. It may take a while for your children to see you’re trying to connect in significant ways. You may have to discipline a child for insensitivity or meanness, but continue to explain to your kids what you’re doing. Children often resist love when they need it the most.

To help you persevere in difficult relationships where you feel like you’re not making progress, consider Colossians 3:22–24 “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

When you try to go deeper in a relationship, you may not experience many rewards at first. Keep going, knowing you’re doing the right thing and pleasing the Lord. Look to him for approval instead of to the relationship for rewards. That provides inner strength to continue on even after you feel like quitting.

Communication in any relationship takes work. It’s nice when someone will listen to you and allow you to pour out your thoughts, hopes, and feelings. Listening is a servant task requiring concentrated effort and creativity to get around the barriers and mine fields that can come up. Do the hard work in this area, though, and you’ll see positive results.

I'll be back this week with new articles

Back to the grind! The Holidays were great and now it's time for Scenario #3...
On the third day of school, Eli's history class had a review test from the year prior. Eli was happy to have remembered everything, but she wasn't surprised; history just came naturally to her! (As it does to me!) But the next day, she was called to the teacher's desk and Mrs. Lafayette told her with what seemed like a nasty smile, "You and John, who sits right beside you, had the exact same answers!' Eli did not understand at first, then she realized that she was being accused of copying John's answers as her own. Eventually, under pressure in the principal's office, John confessed to copying off of Eli's paper. Mrs. Lafayette was super nice for a few weeks, but Eli was hurt. She had always gotten straight A's and was proud of her grades. She was shy and didn't excel at much else, like socializing and sports. She felt Mrs. Lafayette should not have accused her, and once she had, the very least the teacher could do was apologize. Weeks later, Eli still could not look at the teacher during class, or when she did, it took everything she had to not give a mean look!

Scriptures to help with Eli's feelings: 1 Corinthians 14:4-7, Romans 3:23, Proverbs 16:18

Eli should: (rate the answers; the best being #1; the least likely answer #4)
1. Do nothing. The Bible says to respect authority. Therefore we should never question a teacher, and it's our own Christian duty to brace up for whatever happen.
2. Keep giving dirty looks and trying to get under the teacher's skin! Students have very little power, but can get justice in tricky ways if they persist.
3. Forgive the teacher but don't say anything. Staying angry at the teacher is hurting Eli much more than it is her, because often the accused does not even know the person is angry in the first place.
4. Forgive the teacher and then find a good time to express their hurt feelings. Feedback helps teachers know individuals better, which is hard when there are so many kids around her/him.

REFLECTIONS:
It usually hits kids very hard when an adult makes a mistake. Adults should apologize when they do, especially to the children who look up to them. But the fact is that sometime adults don't make it right. We would all say that Eli has a right to be angry. Hey, we ALL have the right to swing open our refrigerators and throw food everywhere! That does not mean it will serve our best interest. FORGIVENESS IS SOMETIMES A LEAP OF FAITH. It is telling yourself, "I am going to let this go now," and then trying to stick to that game plan. It isn't always easy, but a lack forgiveness can cause sleepiness, indigestion, and health problems. Proverbs 17:22 says, "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones."

Most Christian Response:
Eli should practice #4. Forgive the teacher, and then find a good time to share her hurt feelings. Feedback helps the teacher to know individuals better, which is hard when there are so many kids surrounding her/him.

Scenario #2 - Owen Faces the Baseball Bully!
Owen is not the greatest baseball player on the team, but he isn't the worst either. When he's in the outfield, the other outfielder Matt says things under his breath like, "stupid, dang!" every time Owen misses a ball. What's most galling is that Matt misses the ball more often than Owen!
He knows that if he tells his coach, his coach will say, "work it out." He has said to Matt, "I'm not stupid, and quit saying that!" But Matt only laughs and says "stupider... stupider." Owen has even wanted to catch Matt behind the dugout where no one can see them and just punch him! But Matt is a pretty big guy who has done this to a lot of other kids.

Scriptures to help Owen decide what to do: Matthew 5:38-39. Proverbs 29:25, Romans 8:31

What should Owens next move be: (rate your answers; the best would be #1; the least likely would be #4)
#1 - Jesus said, "turn the other cheek" when people pick on you. With a command put this plainly, Owen is clearly obligated to ignore or even be nice to bullies.
#2 - Owen should remind Matt that he misses more balls than he does. Jesus even says in John 8:32 that the truth will set you free!
#3 - Loving the whole team is what's most important. He might try, "Look. If you make me drop the ball with all your distractions, it could cause us to lose the game. Is that what you want? Because if so, I'm going to ask for a position change." And then ask for a change if Matt does it again.
#4 - If you don't confront a bully, he will never respect you. Owen should say, "Why don't we settle this off the field later, big guy?" After all, David took on Goliath!

REFLECTIONS: Some bullies "bully" because it gives them a high, yet false sense of power. Because Owen's bully might be this type, it's actually NOT wise to just turn the other cheek once a pattern has been seen. To do so will only "empower" and "enable" this type of bully. The Golden Rule, as stated in Matthew 7:12, does not just mean to treat the bully the way you would want to be treated; it means to 'treat the people he or she may bully the way you would want to be treated.' While threatening him/her or insulting him/her is not in the Christian order of business, CONFRONTING the bully is! Owen may save his team-mates from being targeted in the future. A reminder that they are on the same team and they don't want the whole team to suffer is probably the best step of action to take. It is also shifting the focus off of Owen's annoyance or Matt's wrongdoing back to the positive... back to the whole team and the best way to win the game.

Most Christian Response: What should Owen's next move be? (3rd option is best) Loving the whole team is most important. He might try, "Look. If you make me drop the ball with all your distractions, it could cause us to lose the game. Is that what you want? Because if so, I'm going to ask for a position change." And ask for one if he does it again. Follow through!

Being a Servant at Christmas
Sometimes children believe that the whole world revolves around them. Parents, because they enjoy caring for their kids, may at times contribute to a child-centered mentality and further reinforce this misconception. Children can get the impression that parents, siblings, and even the family pets are there simply to make them happy. The result is demandingness and an unpleasant attitude.

One of the ways to counteract this tendency is to teach children to be servants and Christmas is a great time to start. Planning and giving gifts, preparing food treats for others, setting the table, and cleaning up Christmas messes are all ways to demonstrate servanthood. You might have your children take turns giving out the gifts that are under the tree instead of just finding their own to open.

Listening to others, watching family members open gifts, saying thank you, sharing, and looking for ways to help are all ideas for kids to demonstrate a servant attitude at Christmastime.

Use the word "servant" and teach children about its positive meaning in life. Talk about how being a servant is really a gift to others. After all, Jesus became a servant by becoming a man and coming to earth as our Savior (Philippians 2:5).

Do you get frustrated when you hear people laughing at the Christian faith? Do you ever feel tongue tied when people start to talk about things like life on other planets and the evolutionary theory and how they threaten Christian views? More importantly, do you get frustrated with the classroom and the playground when others have presented views that make your kids doubt or question God? This can be a good thing you know!

I will take the 7 most popular objections to Christianity that many parents are driven crazy by... because their kids pick them up in school and other places and can quickly believe them. Parents are often tongue tied about the issues (although they should not be) but when our kids start buying into strange beliefs, we truly get frustrated!

I will offer answers to these 7 objections that you can share with your children and others. If you take this seriously, your whole family can be armed with PEACE instead of confusion when hearing questionable beliefs. All believers should learn how to defend the faith.

Giving answers to difficult questions about our faith is called "apologetics," or "defense of the faith." In our very diverse society when almost any belief is expected to be respected, Christians may find the idea of sharing their faith very difficult and frustrating. They may also find themselves thinking there is no answer and can even stoop low enough to say, "Well, I believe it because I want to," which is really not an answer at all. It's a cop out!

I will share in 3 ways:
1. In Adult Terms
2. Speaking to your kids
3. Ways to respond to the objection

I will cover 1 subject a week for 7 weeks.

Week 1 - The size of the universe disproves the Christian God!
Week 2 - There is no God (Jehovah!)
Week 3 - The Bible is just a book of stories and myths!
Week 4 - Miracles do not occur / They are impossible!
Week 5 - Evolution shows that Biblical Creation is a myth!
Week 6 - All truth is relative!
Week 7 - Christianity has too many hypocrites to be true!

Parents, the BEST way to make God seem bigger, more loving and more real is to make Him a part of your regular routine, and the most logical place to start is with what comes out of your mouth. Try not to think of your "spiritual" time as something different as your "parent" time, but think of your spirituality as something that infuses every other thing you do! This is the cure for the home and church.

SCENARIO #1 - EMILY GETS AN EARFUL FROM A FRIEND!
A week before school started Emily invited Kate to go shopping for school clothes. Once the two girls were at the mall, Kate confessed sadly, "Since my daddy lost his job at the power plant, my mom says I can't get new clothes for school this year. For the first time ever I will be a thrift store dweeb, just like ______ (she names two other kids they know). Emily realizes this awkward position she is in. Her budget is only half what it was last year, as her dad is cutting back because of fear of losing his job as well! Emily planned carefully to buy some sneakers and just a few clothes. She can interchange them with stuff she has from last year, at least the stuff that still fits her. No problem. Girls are great at this! She believes though that her teacher at church may tell her to make a sacrifice and buy something for her friend. BUT SHE DID NOT LIKE KATIE'S THRIFT STORE COMMENT AND MAKING FUN OR TWO OTHER FRIENDS! The girls that were mentioned by name were actually very nice, and they had to get clothes at the thrift store last year because their dads were the first ones to lose their jobs at a big plant that was not doing so well. Maybe Kate should learn not to be so snobby before she gets any help from Emily.

Scriptures to help Emily (and your family) decide what to do: Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 27:17, Galatians 6:3.

Emily Should (rate the answers; the best should be #1; the least likely should be #4)
~ Share with Kate. Even though Kate hasn't outright asked Emily to share, sharing is always the right policy; the Bible says so.
~ Not share with Kate because Emily's own dad may lose his job and she could be at the thrift store as well!
~ Not share with Kate because she did not cause Kate's problem and isn't involved in it. Why should she make a sacrifice for something that has nothing to do with her?
~ Not share with Kate because the "thrift store dweeb" comment implies that she can and should learn a great lesson here. Emily should be kind and polite, but keep shopping for her own things.

REFLECTIONS
One of Jesus' most famous statements is "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). It's not always easy being a great friend, is it? Why? Because a great friend allows friends to learn tough lessons.. without being mean and judgmental. A great fired would not help stand in the way of Kate getting thrift store clothing, as Kate needs to learn some humility and mercy on the girls who she made fun of. While the Bible does encourage us to share, withholding can sometimes be an even more excellent path! If Emily and others give too heartily to a heartless person's wardrobe, they may actually be "enabling" that person to keep a judgmental attitude.

Most Christian Response:
Emily should (4th option is best) not share with Kate because the "thrift store dweeb" comment implies that she can learn a great lesson here. Emily should be kind and polite, but keep shopping for her own things.

Now, put this lesson to work in your own life and help your kids do the same!

FOR THIS GENERATION!
PJ

I am about to begin posting DAILY DILEMMAS, but on a weekly basis, that your child either has or is sure to face in their young life. Children ages 6-12 may be thinking about Jesus with shades of adult reasoning for the very first time. It is a wonderful, amazing time, not to be taken for granted! Kids accept beliefs easily and without question as imaginative preschoolers. In the early stages of reflection common to ages 6-12, kids can come to see Christ as their primary source of wisdom, guidance and protection. These devotions are intended to help them engage their pliable minds to learn this for the present...and the future!
Each devo will have 4 parts:
1. Numbered Scenario. Children will first read a scenario where kids JUST LIKE THEM are put in everyday situations where tough choices are required.
2. Related Scriptures. Help the kids look up bible verses, 3 with each devotion, that can be applied to the situation they just read about.
3. Possible Solutions. Children will be asked to rank 4 possible solutions from #1 (best answer for Christians) to #4 (least good answer for Christians).
4. Reflections. This is for the parent to read after the solutions are ranked. This section will allude to proper choices and will help generate discussion about the scenarios, Scriptures and solutions.

These will be posted every Monday so you can pick a day (MONDAY?) to have this family devotion and then feast on it all week long!
FOR THIS GENERATION!
PJ

What do you talk about at the dinner table? This helpful ebook offers 52 discussion starters for families! Send me an email at [email protected]. Mention "Discussion Starters"