04/01/2026
Why Adult Music Students Give Up Early…And Why They Shouldn’t!
This is especially the case for adult music students who are learning an instrument for the first time in their life.
They may be in their 40s, 50s, or 60s, and busy with full-time work and family of their own.
At some point in their midlife, they realize that they really want to learn a musical instrument.
Maybe on some level, they’ve always wanted to learn one, ever since they had that one experience that left them mesmerized. They might say things like:
“Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved the sound of the banjo. It’s such a unique instrument. I just never thought I’d be able to learn it though.”
Or—
“I grew up listening to Billy Joel. I used to dream that one day I’d play the piano like him. But I guess that was a silly childish dream. I don’t have any talent to learn an instrument.”
Or—
“I remember seeing Journey live in ‘82—my first concert—and thinking how amazing it would be if I could play like Neal Schon. Now that I’m older, I realize that’s never gonna happen.”
At this point, it feels like a dream—until they buy themselves a guitar, a keyboard, a banjo, or some other instrument that at least temporarily forces them to commit to learning it.
They were met with obstacles in the past that held them back from learning this instrument.
But not anymore. Now they’re committed.
They’re going to do what it takes to achieve that dream. They’re going to seek out a teacher. They’re going to learn this instrument the right way, from the ground up. No starting off with bad habits.
They’re going to put in the work. After all, if you put in the work, you’ll get results.
Here’s the part that maybe they’re not prepared for. The novelty of learning an instrument—something that they had wanted for decades—wears off.
The realization that what they had envisioned for so many years was coming to fruition, but it didn’t feel like they thought it would.
A few months in they still feel a bit clumsy or awkward with their instrument.
Playing feels slow, and when they play, it doesn’t sound like music to them.
Their teacher tells them things like, “Hey, you’re making progress!” but they don’t believe their teacher.
Then they really let those second thoughts take over:
“I mean, I knew I didn’t have any talent. But this shouldn’t be taking this long to get it. I really should have been able to play something halfway decent by now, but I don’t honestly feel like I’m making any progress at all.
“I should be getting at least five days a week of practice in, and recently, it’s only been twice a week, on a good week.
“Who am I kidding? It’s too late for me. I should have never started.”
All those feelings are valid.
But those feelings come from longheld disempowering, false beliefs about themselves as well as the dreams they had.
Saying “I don’t have any talent” comes from a misunderstanding about how proficiency with any skill is achieved. People aren’t born with knowing how to use their skills. They have to practice at it over and over until they become proficient.
Like learning to walk, they have to be willing to fall over and over again until they’re walking smoothly.
Musicians have to be willing to “fail” over and over again until they get it.
That process is the same for kids, teens and adults alike.
Adult music students have a tendency to “fail” once, and then think, “I guess I’m just not cut out for this.”
Imagine a one-year-old learning to walk who stumbles and falls for the first time, and then thinks, “I guess I’m just not cut out to walk. I don’t have any skills or talent.” And then he crawls away, dejected.
If you’re learning to play an instrument—at any age—you’re going to play the wrong note, use the wrong finger, hit the wrong string, take too many pauses between notes, hold a note too long, rush notes, cut off notes too early, misread notes, miss notes altogether, etc.
That part of the learning process is necessary.
If you keep at it, and you stop worrying about perfection, and stop stressing over how much time you did or didn’t practice during the week, you will work out those kinks.
And in that sense, all those “failures” and “mistakes” aren’t actually failures or mistakes. They’re a natural part of the learning process, and they naturally lead you to proficiency, especially with the guidance of a teacher or coach.
Adult music students need to understand this: Micro-progress is still progress.
What I mean is, any move—no matter how small—toward your goal, toward proficiency, toward results, is a move in the right direction.
That is what progress is.
If you’re an adult learning an instrument for the first time in your life, and you’re getting frustrated with your lessons because you’re not making the progress you want, and you’ve been taking lessons for months, here’s something you can do.
Go back to your very first week of lessons and look at the songs you were learning.
Try to play them. My bet is that you can play them now better, faster, and with more precision than you could when you first started learning to play.
If you had a video recording of yourself trying to play on day one, you might laugh now at how “bad” you were.
That is what progress feels like.
And that is why it is ridiculous to quit early—just because your measurable progress isn’t happening at a rate that’s higher than it is in reality, and because your progress doesn’t feel like you thought it would.
The fact that you’re making real progress and getting real results are reasons you shouldn’t quit, but should keep going!
What are your thoughts?