Fluid Movement NYC

02/03/2022

In my Alexander Technique training course, we had a term for (usually) newer trainees who tried so hard to move ‘correctly’ (i.e. without slumping) that they sat down and stood up like an un-oiled Tin Man. We jokingly called them, “Alex-androids.”

I went through this stage. I remember awkwardly squatting at the water cooler as if a panel of Olympic judges were behind me. I was passionate and hopeful for the Technique; I couldn’t believe how much it was changing my body. But I also had an ever-present fear of doing it wrong, being caught doing it wrong.

Many mindfulness practitioners enter a stage where they are trying so hard to hold onto an experience, or not let difficult feelings intrude on their buzz, that they move super slow and act super calm. There is a difference between inhabiting the present moment and trying to control it.

One of my intentions for 2022 is to move at the speed of practice. At about 5:45 PM on a school night, my body might be moving pretty fast. But the intention is to not move faster than I can synchronize mind and body.

The goal is not to be perfect. Not to feel harmonious all the time. But to simply try and keep my activities within my awareness.

Moving at the speed of practice is also greatly aided – in fact, it’s probably impossible without – having a formal or regular practice, such as a martial art, meditation, or the Alexander Technique. The formal practice always feeds the informal.

Moving at the speed of practice – and no faster or slower – is a good path for me because it acknowledges the demands of life but also acknowledges that we have a choice in how we meet those demands.

(Full post at The In-Between – https://buff.ly/3ukVUIB)
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Plus, George Harrison loosening up.

01/26/2022

When starting a meditation practice, it is generally recommended to create a dedicated space free from distraction.
Keep it tidy, maybe add a flower or a terrified Imperial General.

01/11/2022

I’m happy to have just published an essay with 18Doors, a non-profit that empowers interfaith couples to find a meaningful and inclusive connection to Jewish life.

I wrote about the strange circumstances that led a Buddhist who became disabled, but didn’t become Jewish, to join a synagogue last year. Thank you to the talented Lindsey Silken and the rest of the 18Doors team for helping me tell this story.

How Buddhism, Disability, and My Wife Brought Me to Judaism

“Developing a disability in my mid-20s pushed me into all sorts of unexpected situations: I became unemployed for a few years, learned how to use a computer without typing and became the primary caretaker for my two daughters. One of the strangest outcomes, though, was joining a synagogue.”

Read the full essay here: https://buff.ly/3r3SmXX

18Doors is a great organization that offers many resources for people trying to navigate interfaith relationships in ways that feel authentic to them. Lately, I’ve been combing through the stories of their contributors for inspiration and orientation.
I’ve got another essay to come in the weeks ahead!

Now a self-proclaimed “ex-Catholic, Buddhist guy who can’t type,” Dan found the community he needs in a small Reform synagogue.

12/16/2021

Here's a writer I'm grateful for: Caitlin Flanagan of The Atlantic magazine.
Her essay, “I’ll Tell You the Secret of Cancer,” should be required reading for anyone writing or thinking about health.

The essay begins:
“Are you someone who enjoys the unsolicited opinions of strangers and acquaintances? If so, I can’t recommend cancer highly enough.”

Always funny and unsparing, Flanagan shows the pivotal moment when she confessed to a clinical psychologist at an oncology center that, “I wasn’t doing the work of healing myself. I wasn’t being positive.” The psychologist’s response taught Flanagan the “secret” of cancer.

A link to this essay and two other great pieces (“Long Covid and the Blind Spots of American Medicine” and “One Thing I Don’t Plan to Do Before I Die is Make a Bucket List”) can be found in my newsletter, The In-Between. (link in bio)
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11/26/2021

You form a certain bond with someone after spending several mornings a week standing still in front of them, quietly ordering your arms and neck to relax and then bringing your hands to rest on their cranium. This is the bond I have with Morgan Rysdon, an energizing, kind, and very creative Alexander Technique teacher in Atlanta. We trained at the same Alexander Technique school and helped each other stay light-hearted when it was easy to get down on yourself for having one unwelcome habit after another.

We sat down recently to talk through the Zoom phone about
-How we came to the Technique and where we feel its greatest benefit lies.
-How it helped me through chronic pain and why "the pain was distracting only when I tried to manage it.”
-And why the hardest thing for me to learn in Alexander training is the thing that I've since shaped my career around.

I hope you enjoy this conversation nearly as much as I did. Morgan is articulate, funny, and an indefatigable champion of the Alexander Technique. I’d trust her with my neck.
https://buff.ly/3nKeo1u
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This is a 403 error, and it's not as ominous as it sounds. Bitly can only show this page to people who have permission to see it. Maybe what you are looking for can be found at Bitly.com.

11/09/2021

It’s an act of generosity that we don’t endlessly hassle ourselves to be better or different. We can grant ourselves permission to be as we are right now.

This is also an act of generosity to others. Without realizing it, many of us are paranoid that we feel more turmoil than others, that we are struggling while others are not. By allowing your humanity, you invite others to be similarly gentle and accepting of themselves. You model bravery within a culture that encourages us to project invulnerability and perfection. Life is not butter and you are not a hot knife.

Again, we are not saying that we need to stay as we are – unemployed or covered in breadcrumbs – forever. But we don’t want to waste this disappointment, resentment, or broken-heartedness. We waste it by pushing it away and judging ourselves, deciding that this moment is a mistake. We put our heart on a shelf and strap on the old brain helmet, trying to think our way to comfort. Instead, we can utilize our pain and transform it by being kind to ourselves and using our own suffering to soften towards others. We can waddle down the runway, blaze a new path for others that isn’t marked by coldness.

Read the full post and a simple, corresponding practice at The In-Between. https://buff.ly/3kgsvcP
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10/27/2021

When my wife undertook a meditation retreat in Thailand many years ago, she met with the young Abbott at the Buddhist monastery and asked him about these intense aches and pains from sitting all day. He looked at her with a smile of recognition and said, “Ah, pain, always your friend.”

When you’re in pain — physical or emotional — you feel something has to be done. It’s understandable. But what if it’s not going away easily?

The mindset of someone in chronic pain is often that their life is one giant problem to be solved. Always brainstorming, scanning options, always busy in the mind because maybe you will be able to get everything in order.

It feels hard to live with these big, wide open questions: Am I going to be okay? Am I doing the right thing?

Pain can short-circuit this treadmill where we are constantly trying to improve ourselves. Pain can unburden us of the hope that we could make everything in our life perfect. That’s not optimism, that’s a misery-making weight we carry, to think that every difficult thing is meant to be conquered or life-hacked.

It’s not that we need to try and be in pain or that I’m advocating we sit cross-legged with tremendous knee pain. It’s learning to live with greater openness and kindness that I’m interested in. And if you want the accelerated course, you should try to use your pain to wake up and connect with others.

Read the full post at The In-Between: https://buff.ly/3nxtENY

09/14/2021

I wrote this essay – “Shame & Bodywork: A Persistent Problem”– several years ago (around when this photo of me teaching was taken) but never published it. Lately, I’ve been thinking about how my teaching has changed in the last nine years and one main theme comes up, which is that if we don’t deal with our shame, it bubbles up and interferes with our lives and work in myriad destructive ways.

In this piece, I explore some of the traps of being a ‘bodyworker.’ From friendships and acquaintances, I began to get a sense of how pervasive shame was among workers in the wellness field. I found this troubling; shouldn’t shame be part of what well-being purports to address?

Making corrections or adjustments is the bodyworkers’ bread and butter – lowering shoulders, tucking the pelvis, restoring flow to a blocked area. Yet not everything can or should be corrected, starting with what we experience in the present moment. Shame causes us to try and correct our experience, to cover over our perceived deficiencies and desperately reach for our perceived strengths.
Read more at The In-Between (link in bio).

07/27/2021

I told myself I wouldn’t start this nearly 600 page book about American involvement in three wars as a “summer read.” Yet, here we are.
It’s phenomenal. The subject is Richard Holbrooke, a brilliant, ambitious man who helped broker peace in Bosnia, while pi***ng off hundreds throughout his career. The author, George Packer, never tries to reduce Holbrooke to simple analysis and, for that, it reads like a novel. Of course, I’d read Packer write about paper towels.
This is a really engaging book that taught me a lot about our foreign policy and how much it’s driven by insecure people striving for power as well as genuine humanitarian impulses.

07/13/2021

I wanted to share a community that I’ve been part of for more than a year: . I started working with its founder, (who previously worked at Knopf/Doubleday), a few years ago on a book project. Lisa is exactly who you would want on your side when you’re in the twists and turns of a writing project – insightful, compassionate, direct, and incredibly encouraging.
Through NH, I’ve joined a Literary Mastermind, met a diverse group of writers, and have received guidance, support, and inspiration on its vibrant forum.
I’d recommend Lisa and NH to anyone who feels stuck with writing, unclear about their ambition, or if you just want to surround yourself with people who love language and stories.
Oh, and another innovative part of Narrative Healing is that there is direct attention paid to embodiment, movement, and writing from our felt senses. This is actually rare in the writing world. Lisa and the other members in this community see writing and a deeper sense of health as inseparable.

07/06/2021

There are many people for whom computers – and the assistive technologies that enhance them – are their main connection with the digital world. I’m one of them. Instagram should reconsider its decision to make posting only available through mobile devices. This unfairly impacts people with disabilities.
If only and had enough money to overcome a small amount of users posting content through their computers…

07/06/2021

https://buff.ly/3hTExab
This is the inevitable conclusion of the idea that mindfulness or health or spirituality can overcome all larger problems. (i.e., it’s all up to you.)
While personal responsibility is a huge factor, we can try to create conditions in which people are more likely to be sane and kind and healthy. Not because they exerted superhuman discipline. This is the world I’m working towards.
What’s an issue of “personal responsibility” that you think could also be dealt with (or better dealt with) collectively?
Nutrition comes to mind for me. How can we make it easier and more likely for people to eat healthy, sustainable food? It shouldn’t have to be the result of incredible willpower.