I'm Just a Mama With a Boy With a Processing Disorder

My son has always been ultra talented. When he was younger, I told him he should be a model. He had quite a knack for it. I told him that. He usually doesn't believe me when I tell him that he is good at something. But, I think he is finally beginning to realize that I'm lying to him. He is just good at the things he does. It took quite a while for him to believe me after I told him he should do voice-over acting, but he finally has his heart set on doing that. Today, he had to take a quiz about his interests and do a profile for careers he may be interested in. The top two he matched with: 1. Actor and 2. Model........ What can I say?

The things you don't realize that a sensory processing disorder can affect.....namely, having wisdom teeth removed. Normally, my son has a pain tolerance. In fact, he has never felt pain in his ears when he has had an ear infection, until the ear drum is fixin' to bust. He barely cried when he stepped on a sparkler and burnt his foot. And when he touched a hot stove and had severe 2nd degree burns on his hand, he hardly cried that I can remember. But this experience was completely different. Thank God for the chiropractors at Radiant Life, he was able to eat some good food on the way home last night. He has not been able to eat a whole lot because his jaw kept hurting from everything being so tight. Whatever Dr. Andy did seriously helped!

Now.....to continue with getting material together to present to educators to bring awareness to processing disorders and how they affect our kids and their educational journey. It is a rough path, often times. And my heart's desire is to make it easier for not only our neurodivergent kids, but also for those who guide them in their educational journey. Check back for some tidbits.

There is so much that I want to do to help families who are going through what my son and I have gone through. There is a lot to our story that I have not shared with everyone, simply because I don't feel like it all needs to be put out there for everyone. Although I believe it is important to be as transparent as possible, I struggle with the desire to have some privacy in regards to certain aspects of our personal lives. The problem with the processing disorders that my son has is that they are severe, and they affect him so dramatically. Many people simply do not understand. He has fought, struggled, and worked so hard to overcome all the difficulties he has faced. He has come so far and amazes me every single day. Yet, some days are so difficult for him. Especially if he is over tired, sick, hurting, etc. I simply can't imagine what his days are like. I don't know how these neurodivergent kids do what they do. As we prepare to enter his senior year, it is hard to know what his days will bring. So many kids look forward to their senior year. I do not know that my son does. It's a lot of pressure, especially because he will barely be 17 when he graduates after the first semester. If he does decide to stay for another semester, He will still only be 17 and a half. That's young for the vast majority of boys. When you add in processing disorders, learning disabilities, as well as the other stuff he deals with, it just seems like it would be so overwhelming. So, this summer, I'm praying that I can help him become the best person he can be when he steps out into the "real" world. And hopefully, I will be able to reach out to schools in our country and help teachers see the things these types of kiddos go through every single day. It an only help.

So thankful this school year is over and we have some time to just breathe. It's been a rough 2025, and the processing disorders really cause a lot of stress, anxiety and depression on the best of days. So, when there is a lot of loss and grief on top of it, it just doesn't make for a good combination. But, we made it through. And now, we will use some precious downtime to regroup and take care of ourselves.

The end of the school year finally came last week. My son did amazingly well, but it was a struggle, y'all. The constant battle I had to have to get him what he needed was so much more exhausting than it needed to be.

As people who have an impact on a child's future and potential, I believe it is vitally important to learn about any difficulties they have, whether it is physical, emotional, social....it really doesn't matter. How are we supposed to help a person learn, not only on an educational level, but on a level that goes so far beyond an education. We need to realize that not all people learn the same way, therefore we can't approach them all the same way. It's a pretty simple process.

I am not saying that you have to be an expert on every person's issues. I'm not saying you have to individualize 20 ways to teach one concept. I'm simply saying that there may be ones who need to learn a concept in a different way than you have taught. And when those kids recognize that, and approach you with questions that are being asked because of the way they learn, does it really hurt you to take the time to listen and hear what they are asking, and answering them so they can learn as well?

It shouldn't. If it does, maybe you learn to be a bit more flexible and not expect more from a child than you, as an adult and a "teacher" are willing to give yourself.

I'm just going to put this out there. I know I'm not an educator. I know there is so much that they do outside of a school day. I know there is so much that they do which they don't get paid for. But let me say this.....if you have a kid coming into your classroom that has a disability of any kind, why would you not take the time to learn about it? Either get a book from the library about it or talk to the parents, or a therapist that works with that disability....SOMETHING so that you understand it, if even just a little bit....

So, my son is a junior right now. He began at the school he goes to when he was in 7th grade. At that time, I had zero diagnoses for him. Up until that point, I had very few people who could help me find information on what he was going through, let alone help him. It took a while to find some kind of answers, some kind of way to help him. There have been a lot of ups and downs in his journey. He still struggles so much. For me, though, the hardest part is getting teachers to care enough to learn about HIS disabilities, the reason for his IEP. I don't expect them to become experts, by any stretch of the imagination. I just want them to understand so they stop telling him he isn't trying, so they stop telling him he needs to stop playing video games all night and get sleep, so they stop telling him that he needs to do this or that but refuse to help him learn how to do it, so they stop telling him he is going to live on the streets......so they understand....just a little bit!

I understand they are only one person. I understand that they have multiple kids with IEPs and disabilities. But why is it beyond expectations to expect them to learn just a little bit? It would really make their lives so much easier if they understood any aspect of APD or SPD. And it would make my son's educational journey so much more enjoyable if they understood any aspect of APD or SPD. And, honestly, it would make my mama's heart just a little bit less heavy if they understood any aspect of APD or SPD.

I'm just sayin'....

I am putting together something I can present to schools about APD, SPD, how they affect children with them, and how they affect learning for students. My son's story, although it is almost done, may have to slide to the side for just a bit so I can get this other stuff done. But then it will get done. Both will get done because my heart hurts thinking about how long ago this should have been happening. Don't get me wrong, I know I can "I should have," and "If only I had" myself to death, and it won't change anything. I know all of this was supposed to happen the way it did so I could be here right now with these things in my heart the way they are. Everything happens for a reason....

Sometimes, fighting for your child just isn’t enough. Sometimes, you have to fight for others like your child as well. My son asked me to write his story to help parents of kids like him, so they don’t have to struggle to find help like I did, and kids don’t have to go through what he went through. But this semester, I am learning that just isn’t enough. My son has been through so much since January 1st. He lost his service dog. He lost his uncle. We took in his uncle’s dog, but two grieving dogs is just too much for a grieving teenager and a grieving sister. He has been extremely sick off and on, and dealing with the grief on top of it. It has worn him down. So, this semester has been rough. He had a teacher say he needed to go to bed at night and stop playing video games all night when he fell asleep in class. Mind you, he is in bed before 10:30 almost every night, and does not stay up playing video games all night long. He had another teacher tell him he was going to end up living on the streets because he struggled to get caught up with lessons that his teachers weren’t giving him from all of the days he missed. It just seemed to be one thing after another after another that tore him down a little bit by little bit. I emailed teachers without response, I emailed teachers and the principal without results. So, finally I emailed the superintendent. After some back and forth discussions, I realize I need to push for more. My son has one year and part of a quarter left before graduation. It’s not enough time to make things the way they should be, I’m sure. But I’m going to try. Because as I told the superintendent. In five years I have had less than five people ask me for specifics about my son’s disabilities/disorders and how they affect his learning, and how they affect him. I have asked for the school to do in services about what he has and goes through so teachers understand, and it has never happened, yet they are still doing in services on dyslexia. Most teachers don’t even know what auditory processing disorders or sensory processing disorders are, let alone what they affect. It needs to change, because if it doesn’t, more and more kids are going to hear they are a failure. It doesn’t matter if the words are said or not, that is what they will hear. And that just isn’t acceptable.

As parents, we often worry about our kids. We worry about if they will be hurt. We worry about if they will be bullied. We worry about if they will be ok when they are out on their own. But then you have a moment, just one little moment, that makes you breathe easier because you know…..you know that it has all clicked just as it is supposed to.

I made the corrections that I found while proofreading my book. Now, to have one more proofread done...while at least one. We shall see. NDA is signed with the publishing company. Meeting with the agent on the 29th. I really hope they believe in this little story of my son's the way we do.

Got my book proofread through one time. Have to make my edits and get a technical proofread done. Then I meet with a publishing company on the 29th about getting it available to the masses. Well….that went fast. The rest will be slow though, I’m sure.

So, last week, I thought I had finished my son's story. I sat on it for several days and decided there was a little more I needed to do. So, I got that written today. Now, I believe, I'm going to let it marinate for a bit, and just see what else comes up. In the meantime, the resources I found the most helpful are listed in the back. There were so many things online that I read, I wouldn't even begin to list those. But, the ones I have in my possession or that I refer to quite frequently are in there. We shall see what comes of this.