12/16/2021
🌟🙏🏼 Leadership Challenge Marination:
Our greatest weaknesses are our unguarded strengths. We can be so exceptional at something, that we take it for granted, and subsequently, leave it unprotected, which results in carelessness. I know this all too well… even very recently. I continue to learn this in many ways.
If you are a leader, or an aspiring leader, in any avenue of life, this is a challenge to our credibility… and it’s not in the exposing of our imperfections, which as humans, we all have. On the contrary.
Perfection does not equal credibility. Position and power do not equal credibility. Who you ARE, your character, your maturity, your substance, equals your credibility.
And REAL credibility gets damaged when we hide and deny our imperfections, fail to take personal responsibility for them, and in doing so, we inadvertently, wound the very ones we are hoping to care for.
I always say, “If you want credibility, simply be credible. It’s not any more difficult or complicated than that.”
What does that mean?
In short, we all have imperfections, so own them, apologize if merited, learn, correct course, improve, be better and do better. We are all masterpieces in progress, our job is to stay in the progress. And in doing so, we are leading by example and showing others the way also. Those you lead, mentor, coach, and care for, deserve that, in the very least. And additionally, they will respect and trust you all the more for doing so.
In kind, as you are leading them, teaching them, helping them, then by beautiful design, you will benefit from how THEY will teach YOU, sharpen you, make you better at what you do. My clients do this for me almost every day. I gratefully welcome that blessing in my life! 🙏🏼♥️☺️
Having been UNDER so much BAD leadership in my life, across many avenues of life, has carved a deep, indelible impression within the core of my very being, that changed me forever, but for the better. Those experiences taught me how to NOT lead in like manner, but rather, to endeavor to be the leader I would appreciate having, to take intentional, conscious responsibility to lead (serve) in a better way, to be an exception to what has sadly been the rule.
And even so, in my own humanness and imperfections, I still miss the mark, I inadvertently fail others. And this troubles me because I so desperately want to NOT do/be that. Far from. So I have to keep working at doing better and being better.
From leaders/bosses/coaches/clergy, etc., who could NOT take responsibility for how they hurt me, and could never apologize, nor acknowledge one iota their own issues, rather, they mistakenly saw their “position” or “so-called authority,” as validation that they were always right, thus, deeply wounding me, failing me, abusing me.... because they could.
They “reacted”.... defensively, and they inappropriately put all the responsibility back on me, for whatever I felt and experienced at their hands, as if everything was just about my issues.... thus doubling down on the pain and hurt, and leaving me to figure out a way to heal and move forward without the rightful resolution I deserved.
Can anyone relate? I’m confident I’m not alone in these experiences…
And here’s a tragic and sad statistic: I’ve only ever received in my life approximately 5% of the apologies I’ve deserved.... from anyone… ever....
Yet I don’t live as a victim. In fact, regardless, I know it is my job and responsibility before God, to forgive, and allow Him to heal my heart and make me better, not bitter. Which He faithfully has. If I didn’t, I would be a very “old” young lady, weighted down with that much bitterness for all I have suffered in life. Instead, my heart is light and full of love. And a fire is lit under me to make sure that I never miss giving the apologies I ought, that others deserve.
And while I did not have control over what those leaders chose to do or not do, I always had (and have) the power to choose to react in a way that would please God regardless, and move forward into the beautiful freedom He wants for us all.
I have found, that in the work I do, not everyone knows they also have that same power, let alone ANY power, let alone how to free themselves from the ball and chain of these wounds. Because of my experiences, I’m now able to help in how God can heal them and free them from those things ruling and ruining their lives.
There is power even in our pain, and our mess can become our message! That’s great news!! 🌟🎶
“Credibility is in our ability to take responsibility,” and to do all that’s within our power to right our wrongs. (I’m still working on stuff). As leaders, this is OUR job. The TRUE measure of our credibility, is to lead by example, with humility, honesty, and integrity. They deserve that very best from us.
The challenging and self-examining questions I ask myself:
*What kind of leader am I?
*What kind of leader do I want to be?
*Am I willing to own my imperfections, take responsibility with humility for how those imperfections impact others?
*Am I doing my best, to first practice what I preach, thus making things right where needed?
*Am I apologizing where due? Am I forgiving and gracious with every opportunity?
*Am I being careful to not deny how others are experiencing me in our interactions, resulting in making the initial injury twice is detrimental?
The Bible warns: (James 3:1) “many ought not seek to lead for you will be twice as accountable/judged more strictly.” We are held to account for the lives we are impacting, for better or worse. Ought that be enough to keep us humble and in perspective? I say, oh definitely yes. 🙏🏼
I believe we all want our impact in the world to be positive, and to be the absolute best we can give. I believe we all want to make a positive difference, and to leave others better for having connected with us.
And that being the case, I endeavor to keep this reminder ever before me: It’s not about “perch and preach,” it’s about lifting up others WITH me. It’s about THEM. Leadership is actually a responsibility to care for, to serve, not an opportunity to have power over, to feed ego.
I remind myself:
*Don’t be defensive, be responsible.
*Don’t pridefully deny your imperfections, humbly take responsibility for them and grow.
*Don’t “double-wound” those you claim to care about as a result. Truly love and serve them with THEIR best interest at heart.
*Seek to serve and not to power-over. *Don’t seek prestige, simply seek to serve.
REAL credibility is on the line. But WAY MORE importantly, their lives are. And they deserve the very best we can give. ♥️ The world could be a better place for our doing so. And we all have the power to make such a difference by leading in that much-needed “Servant Leadership” way, especially right about now. 🙏🏼☺️🌟
“We are only true Leaders, if others follow.”
