08/21/2021
Join us for “An Appel a Day” : a series of profiles introducing the 2021 Appel Fellows and their projects.
Today’s Appel is Carolyn Tung:
“What Lin Yutang said: “What is patriotism but the love of the food one ate as a child.” Against the backdrop of longing, Midwestern musings, and wistful portraits of parents in my writing, food serves as the anchor to our Chinese-ness when language cannot. My Appel Project, then, is in some ways a love letter to my family, an impulse to untangle our psyches. Through a meditative, fragmented collection of creative non-fiction and poetry, I explore the act of being Chinese in America through a personal lens, taking on elements of my family history in the crucible of a quiet Sinophobia and the somatic implications of being a yellow body in a white world. In my project, I consider a number of questions: What to make of my paternal grandparents, who immigrated to the U.S. only three years after the Chinese Exclusion Act was repealed? Of my father, who bears the burden of belonging to the only family of color in a small white town during the 1960s-70s, and my immigrant mother, who bears none? And of not feeling caught between my Chinese and American identities—in fact, feeling completely content with both sides, but yearning for one over the other? At the same time, in an attempt to preserve my family’s art of home-style cuisine, I will weave recipes I have learned with my maternal grandmother into my writing, which will correspond to the sections “Sweet,” “Salty,” “Sour,” “Bitter,” and “Savory.” After this summer, I hope to be able to pass down my family recipes, tethering my cultural heritage to my muscle memory in a way my father could not.”