Clara Barton Elementary School PTA

The Feral Children Farewell Tour!

We've almost made it. I don't know what "it" is anymore, but we've almost made it. Join us for popsicles and playground time. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Hope everyone enjoys this Memorial Day Weekend sponsored by wet flip flops, rowdy kids, migraines, canceled plans, and the growing understanding that we’ve all earned a beverage before noon.

But hey… we almost made it to June. Whatever that means.

WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME, PARENTS ☀️
Friday 5/29 • 9:15 AM

We know Barton parents are insanely busy. Truly. Between work, kids, sports, laundry, 14 unopened PTO emails, pretending to know what spirit day it is, and surviving entirely on caffeine and resentment… who even HAS free time anymore?

Which is exactly why we’re asking you to spend your Friday morning outside supervising 400 overheated children running with pool noodles like it’s the Hunger Games.

Come volunteer. Come laugh. Come dissociate in the sun with us. Sign-up link in the comments!

Color Run!
This year Barton decided to join forces with Kingston for the Color Run because apparently one PTA creating chaos alone wasn’t enough. 🌈

Every ticket purchased gives back to Barton PTA — AND Kingston politely begged us to encourage people to buy tickets ahead of time so they don’t have to run the check-in table like Coachella for 8-year-olds.

$10 online.
$15 at the door because procrastination is expensive. 👇

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who hopefully didn’t make a single decision today.

“What’s for dinner?”
No idea.

“Where are my shoes?”
Ask your father.

Also… one day a year? Be so for real.

Anyway — PTA Meeting tomorrow night.

🦅 Monday, May 11 @ 7PM
📍 Clara Barton APR

Bring your thoughts, opinions, and concerns.
🚫 No kids please.

Your schedules are insane. May is feral. We get it.

Consider the PTA Meeting a night off:
No kids. No bedtime battles. No hearing “Mom?” 47 times in a row.

Just adults discussing school things while hanging on by a thread together.

Monday 5/11 • 7PM • APR 🫡

The Neon Foam Party has been canceled due to a severe outbreak of “May is absolutely unhinged.”

Between sports, concerts, field trips, spirit days, and the 97 other things happening right now… the sign-ups just weren’t there.

And before anyone attacks me in the comments, please remember I’m sensitive and one minor inconvenience away from moving into the woods. 🫧

Kindergarten Orientation: where your kid is ready… and you absolutely are not.

📅 June 2 | ⏰ 6PM | 📍 Clara Barton

– Meet the teachers
– See the classrooms
– Try not to cry in public

No siblings. This is your kindergartener’s moment.

Welcome to the big leagues. Pack extra glue sticks.

School Funding: Vague Panic, But Make It Productive.
School funding.
We all care.
We all pretend we understand it.
Let’s stop lying to ourselves.
May 4 | 7PM | Zoom
More info in the comments!

It's Giving... We Forgot
Teacher Appreciation Week is May 4–8… and the sign-up sheet is currently giving “we meant to help” energy.
We’ve got coffee, breakfast, lunch, and snacks lined up—we just need a few more humans to make it happen.
Scan the QR. Sign up. Donate if you can.
Let’s show up for the people who show up for our kids every single day.
Sign-up link in the comments! ☺️