11/05/2021
One of the hot buttons for teachers is when a child lies to them BUT don't we as adults do that often? Something to think about. Hmm.. Never thought it quite this way until reading this article. Written for parents but perfect for classrooms also!
Can you remember the last time you told a lie? Maybe you told a friend their new haircut looked great, when you really thought it didn't suit them. Maybe you told your partner that you would tidy something away at a later point, when you really had no intention of doing so. Maybe you told your mother that you loved her newly decorated living room, when in reality you thought it was horrible. Maybe you told your boss that you were up-to-date with a task, when actually, you were behind. Maybe you met an old neighbour in town and said "we must catch up soon!", when you had no intention of arranging to meet them.......
....,as adults, we lie daily. We lie to make people feel better. We lie to avoid tension and trouble. We lie because we don't want to let people down. We lie because we don't want to admit our own flaws to ourselves and we lie because it is socially acceptable to do so (sometimes).
If adults lie so often, why do we expect children to always be so honest? Especially when their honesty is likely to get them into more trouble than our own.
What I'm getting at here, is that it's important to not hold children in higher regard than we do ourselves. You can't stop a child lying, you wouldn't want to when you really think about it. You can however help them to understand when they really shouldn't lie and make things easier for them to tell the truth in these instances.
Children often lie to their parents to avoid upsetting them, making them angry and getting into trouble. Here - the answer is actually all about your response. How you react to them when they’ve done something wrong (and bern honest about it) is the key.
This is why punishment is such an ineffective form of discipline, it lets children know that they need to be sneakier in the future to avoid getting caught (aka - learn how to lie well!).
What should you do to reduce lying from children? Be mindful with your discipline, work as a team with your child to solve problems, don't shout, don't impose stringent consequences. Be open, be approachable and above all else - be forgiving.
