Room to Thrive

Room to Thrive

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"There is a common piece of advice that flows through many cultures once touched by Christian missionaries: Do unto others as you would have done to yourself.

What few of these well meaning warriors of Christ had ever paused to contemplate was that others might not wish to have done what you would wish for, and that this adage, taken to it’s conclusion, has always been one with the potential for causing catastrophic harm."

https://neuroclastic.com/2021/05/06/review-sensory-trauma-autism-sensory-difference-and-the-daily-experience-of-fear/?fbclid=IwAR0eyYw4KxbyJjD2P7w9ztXXeryQathyhjqguH6mJn4HEXM5jm2B2Y_2eyM
Hey! My research partner and I are conducting a survey on the ways in which religious support and substance use can impact perceived adversity during the COVID-19 pandemic. The survey should take no more than 10 minutes, and all responses will remain anonymous. You have the right to withdraw at any time. Feel free to distribute the link as you see fit. Click the link in my bio for the survey. We really appreciate your time!
Hey! My research partner and I are conducting a survey on the ways in which religious support and substance use can impact perceived adversity during the COVID-19 pandemic. The survey should take no more than 10 minutes, and all responses will remain anonymous. You have the right to withdraw at any time. Feel free to distribute the link as you see fit. Click the link in my bio for the survey. We really appreciate your time!

Resolve Religious Trauma and experience safety, vitality, and connection. Religious Trauma Therapy & Trauma-informed Coaching. I help survivors resolve religious trauma, so they can live a life of vitality, meaning, and connection. -Brian Peck, LCSW

Operating as usual

10/05/2021

I was thinking about this line from Tara Westover’s memoir Educated tonight and wanted to share it with you.⠀

"We are all of us more complicated than the roles we are assigned in the stories other people tell." -Tara Westover⠀

Here’s to living beyond the constrictive roles you’ve been assigned in the stories other people tell.⠀

Here’s to being more generous with the roles you assign to others in your own narrative.⠀

-Brian⠀

#ReligiousTrauma #Deconstruction #RoomToThrive

I was thinking about this line from Tara Westover’s memoir Educated tonight and wanted to share it with you.⠀

"We are all of us more complicated than the roles we are assigned in the stories other people tell." -Tara Westover⠀

Here’s to living beyond the constrictive roles you’ve been assigned in the stories other people tell.⠀

Here’s to being more generous with the roles you assign to others in your own narrative.⠀

-Brian⠀

#ReligiousTrauma #Deconstruction #RoomToThrive

08/31/2021

Over these past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote from Lisa Feldman Barrett…⠀
"The best thing for your nervous system is another human and the worst thing for your nervous system is another human."⠀

I’m reminded that our ability to co-regulate each other's nervous systems can be both a powerful resource for safety and connection, and a source of disconnection and harm.⠀

If you’re new to my account, my name is Brian Peck, I’m a licensed clinical social worker, my pronouns are he/him, and I’m glad you’re here!⠀

I’m white, middle-aged, cisgendered, and mostly straight…although I’m uncomfortable with simplistic binaries.⠀

I’m a parent to two amazing humans.⠀

My partner and I have been together for over 16 years, and she’s largely responsible for the relative security our family enjoys.⠀

I owe so much to the humans in my life who care enough to challenge me to do better.⠀

I have more questions than answers, and I wouldn’t trust myself to do this work if it weren’t for the diverse group of colleagues and friends I’ve personally invited to call me in when they see me engaging in behavior that’s not congruent with my values.⠀

There are many ways to resolve religious trauma, and what works for one person may not work for another. It’s my sincere hope that each of us will connect with resources that encourage us to trust ourselves more on our healing journeys.⠀

I value your perspective, welcome your skepticism, and appreciate your feedback.⠀

Thank you for caring enough to challenge me to do better, and for the many ways you’ve been the best thing for my nervous system!

-Brian⠀

#ReligiousTrauma #AdverseReligiousExperiences #Trauma #PolyvagalTheory #SomaticExperiencing #RoomToThrive

Over these past few weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about this quote from Lisa Feldman Barrett…⠀
"The best thing for your nervous system is another human and the worst thing for your nervous system is another human."⠀

I’m reminded that our ability to co-regulate each other's nervous systems can be both a powerful resource for safety and connection, and a source of disconnection and harm.⠀

If you’re new to my account, my name is Brian Peck, I’m a licensed clinical social worker, my pronouns are he/him, and I’m glad you’re here!⠀

I’m white, middle-aged, cisgendered, and mostly straight…although I’m uncomfortable with simplistic binaries.⠀

I’m a parent to two amazing humans.⠀

My partner and I have been together for over 16 years, and she’s largely responsible for the relative security our family enjoys.⠀

I owe so much to the humans in my life who care enough to challenge me to do better.⠀

I have more questions than answers, and I wouldn’t trust myself to do this work if it weren’t for the diverse group of colleagues and friends I’ve personally invited to call me in when they see me engaging in behavior that’s not congruent with my values.⠀

There are many ways to resolve religious trauma, and what works for one person may not work for another. It’s my sincere hope that each of us will connect with resources that encourage us to trust ourselves more on our healing journeys.⠀

I value your perspective, welcome your skepticism, and appreciate your feedback.⠀

Thank you for caring enough to challenge me to do better, and for the many ways you’ve been the best thing for my nervous system!

-Brian⠀

#ReligiousTrauma #AdverseReligiousExperiences #Trauma #PolyvagalTheory #SomaticExperiencing #RoomToThrive

Photos from Room to Thrive's post 08/27/2021

This memory from my friend Kelly Wilson showed up in my feed today at exactly the right time😭

“A New friend and fellow traveler asked me this morning about the road ahead.

How do you get from rehab to a life you could love?

My response, since there might be others traveling the same road, perhaps not in form, but in function. She recognized in the asking that an answer might not be simple or easy. Per usual, I give process answers.

I have a terrible sense of destination, but a great sense of direction.

Not that it always feels great. It does not, but that sense of direction, awkward and wobbling, has taken me places and made me friends, that I could never, ever have imagined, when I lay in my bed in rehab, so many years ago.

For what it's worth....

It is actually very, very simple, but definitely not easy. For more than 30 years, I get up each day and do the next right thing. Except when I don't.

And then, when I recognize it, I clean up whatever mess I have made, and do the next right thing.

Each time you fall, do not waste too much time on whipping yourself. There are already more than enough beatings in this world. It does not need your contribution to violence, against others or against yourself.

Put down your arms. Practice peace.

In this exact moment, you can ask yourself what that might look like, and then get still, and let a sense of direction arise. Let it rise out of stillness, not out of reactivity.

Pause.

What would the me that has fallen do in this moment?

What would the kind thing be?

What would the loving thing be?

What next small thing, no matter how small, would move me towards a life I could love?

In those small, small movements is transformation. In the moment of movement, you are transformed.

“Catherine of Sienna said, ‘all the way to heaven, is heaven.’ This is a transformation of and in the inches and we must be patient. We must wait to see how it unfolds.

There will be many days traveling in uncertainty. I still know, many, many of those days.

Every day you travel somewhere new, there is likely to be uncertainty. Make a friend of it. Set a place for it at the table of your life. Because if you are growing and developing, if you are moving onto new ground.

You.will.not.know.the.way and will need that moment of stillness, and, your own emerging sense of direction. And, you will travel with uncertainty. This is how it has been for me.

One last bit...do not fall prey to the enormous lie that you should be able to do this on your own. That is pure bu****it. We are social mammals and are made to be together.

Find fellow travelers along the way. Find people who understand the journey you are undertaking and speak with them about it.

Share stories of the road.

Speak honestly.

Do not be afraid to speak of falling, of hardship, of despairing even.

Give them heart and let them give you heart.

I look forward to seeing you some time on the road.”

Here’s to taking the next small step in the direction of a life you can love. 💜

-Brian

08/18/2021

I hurt many of you with my previous post, and I am sorry.⠀

I’m sorry for communicating defensively and betraying your trust by posting something out of character from what you rightly expect from me.⠀

I was wrong to imply that all harm is equal or that the path forward is equally the responsibility of survivors and those who harmed them.⠀

My attempt to encourage perspective taking was devoid of perspective. What I hoped would point to a path forward became a barrier to progress. I recognize that impact is more important than intention, and I take responsibility for the harmful impact of my words.⠀

I’ve chosen to preserve the valuable feedback and emotional labor many of you invested in the comments by not deleting the post.⠀

I appreciate your willingness to share your insights with me, and I’ll continue to incorporate them into my journey as I deconstruct the internalized power and privilege that protects me from the harm and marginalization that trauma survivors from less protected identities experience.⠀

With compassion,
⠀
-Brian

I hurt many of you with my previous post, and I am sorry.⠀

I’m sorry for communicating defensively and betraying your trust by posting something out of character from what you rightly expect from me.⠀

I was wrong to imply that all harm is equal or that the path forward is equally the responsibility of survivors and those who harmed them.⠀

My attempt to encourage perspective taking was devoid of perspective. What I hoped would point to a path forward became a barrier to progress. I recognize that impact is more important than intention, and I take responsibility for the harmful impact of my words.⠀

I’ve chosen to preserve the valuable feedback and emotional labor many of you invested in the comments by not deleting the post.⠀

I appreciate your willingness to share your insights with me, and I’ll continue to incorporate them into my journey as I deconstruct the internalized power and privilege that protects me from the harm and marginalization that trauma survivors from less protected identities experience.⠀

With compassion,
⠀
-Brian

08/14/2021

Update:

I’m not removing this post for the following reasons:

🔹 I want to maintain the the insightful responses and emotional labor folks have contributed to this conversation.

🔹 I value this opportunity to learn and grow as a human and a community.

🔹 I want to acknowledge that I got somethings wrong in the original post and I’ll expand more on that soon.

Thanks again for all the feedback.

I owe you more than a quick reaction, and I’m taking a moment to reflect and process before responding more fully.

Thanks for your patience as I incorporate your insights and attempt to speak more clearly than I did in the original post.

-Brian

⬇️ ORIGINAL POST ⬇️

I was never a pastor.⠀

I never wrote a book espousing the toxic beliefs I had as an evangelical.⠀

But I hurt others within my small circle of influence with my religious beliefs and behavior.⠀

I was harmed, and I harmed others.⠀

I’ve held space for pastors racked with guilt for the harmed they cause others.⠀

I’ve supported survivors of religious abuse inflicted by pastors.⠀

I’ve sat with mothers who couldn’t bare the pain they caused their children as a believer.⠀

I’ve sat with children who were abused by religious parents.⠀

I’ve worked with hundreds of religious trauma survivors, thousands more engage my content.⠀

I’ve devoted my professional life to survivors of religious trauma.⠀

My caseload is full of survivors, many who claim the work we do together has changed their lives — some say it has literally saved their lives.⠀

I’m passionate about this work and I would love to continuing supporting survivors.⠀

But, I should leave.⠀

I don’t deserve to have a voice in the deconstruction space.⠀

My past disqualifies me from supporting survivors.⠀

My work isn’t valuable to ALL survivors, therefore it has value to none.⠀

The work I’ve done in therapy doesn’t matter.⠀

My personal development doesn’t count.⠀

The amends I’ve made aren’t enough.⠀

Many survivors value my work, but others in the deconstruction community don’t.⠀

Some have seen my pain and my growth. Others have only seen a reflection of an abuser they’ve projected on me.⠀

No one I’ve helped matters.⠀

None of those who benefit from my work matter.⠀

I’m unable to help anyone now having harmed others in the past.⠀

The results don’t matter.⠀

The autonomy of survivors to choose for themselves doesn’t matter.⠀

My ability to be of service to others should rest solely in the hands of self-appointed gate keepers who speak unilaterally for everyone in this diverse community.⠀

We have all been hurt and we've all hurt others. This needs be acknowledged, and there needs to be a path forward.⠀

Otherwise, none of us can be of service to others.⠀

Otherwise, we all should leave.⠀

-Brian

Update:

I’m not removing this post for the following reasons:

🔹 I want to maintain the the insightful responses and emotional labor folks have contributed to this conversation.

🔹 I value this opportunity to learn and grow as a human and a community.

🔹 I want to acknowledge that I got somethings wrong in the original post and I’ll expand more on that soon.

Thanks again for all the feedback.

I owe you more than a quick reaction, and I’m taking a moment to reflect and process before responding more fully.

Thanks for your patience as I incorporate your insights and attempt to speak more clearly than I did in the original post.

-Brian

⬇️ ORIGINAL POST ⬇️

I was never a pastor.⠀

I never wrote a book espousing the toxic beliefs I had as an evangelical.⠀

But I hurt others within my small circle of influence with my religious beliefs and behavior.⠀

I was harmed, and I harmed others.⠀

I’ve held space for pastors racked with guilt for the harmed they cause others.⠀

I’ve supported survivors of religious abuse inflicted by pastors.⠀

I’ve sat with mothers who couldn’t bare the pain they caused their children as a believer.⠀

I’ve sat with children who were abused by religious parents.⠀

I’ve worked with hundreds of religious trauma survivors, thousands more engage my content.⠀

I’ve devoted my professional life to survivors of religious trauma.⠀

My caseload is full of survivors, many who claim the work we do together has changed their lives — some say it has literally saved their lives.⠀

I’m passionate about this work and I would love to continuing supporting survivors.⠀

But, I should leave.⠀

I don’t deserve to have a voice in the deconstruction space.⠀

My past disqualifies me from supporting survivors.⠀

My work isn’t valuable to ALL survivors, therefore it has value to none.⠀

The work I’ve done in therapy doesn’t matter.⠀

My personal development doesn’t count.⠀

The amends I’ve made aren’t enough.⠀

Many survivors value my work, but others in the deconstruction community don’t.⠀

Some have seen my pain and my growth. Others have only seen a reflection of an abuser they’ve projected on me.⠀

No one I’ve helped matters.⠀

None of those who benefit from my work matter.⠀

I’m unable to help anyone now having harmed others in the past.⠀

The results don’t matter.⠀

The autonomy of survivors to choose for themselves doesn’t matter.⠀

My ability to be of service to others should rest solely in the hands of self-appointed gate keepers who speak unilaterally for everyone in this diverse community.⠀

We have all been hurt and we've all hurt others. This needs be acknowledged, and there needs to be a path forward.⠀

Otherwise, none of us can be of service to others.⠀

Otherwise, we all should leave.⠀

-Brian

Photos from Room to Thrive's post 08/10/2021

My “hot take” on Pray Away was (and still is) “this is an important film, and an opportunity to be present with the suffering of conversion therapy survivors.”⠀

While I haven’t publicly share many thoughts about the film, I’ve been in conversation with survivors and I’m grateful for their insights.⠀

Several survivors expressed disappointment with how Pray Away centers Christianity (albeit a more affirming version) as a source of healing when depicting recovery from conversion therapy.⠀

While I recognize that Pray Away focuses on the unique and valid lived experience of former Exodus International leaders, notably absent in the film are voices of survivors for whom faith has not been a source of healing.⠀

Without taking anything away from the film, I would like to give voice to survivors who are healing inside of AND outside of religious faith by pointing out that…⠀

There are many ways to resolve religious trauma.⠀

⛪️ “It’s been really important for me to separate Jesus from the Christians who hurt me.”⠀

🏳️‍🌈 Others find it important to separate their humanity from religious beliefs altogether.⠀

⛪️ “This faith has also been a huge source of our healing.”⠀

🏳️‍🌈 For others, faith is a source of avoidance that bypasses their humanity and prevents healing.⠀

⛪️ For some, reimagining a more loving version of God is affirming.⠀

🏳️‍🌈 For others, it’s empowering to reclaim their humanity without a deity.⠀

⛪️ “Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil,” is a source of strength for some.⠀

🏳️‍🌈 For others, it’s disempowering to “pray away” their responsibility and agency.⠀

⛪️ Spirituality is a useful resource for many.⠀

🏳️‍🌈 For others, it’s enough to simply be human.⠀

⛪️ What works for one person...⠀

🏳️‍🌈 ...may not work for another.⠀

💜 I would love to hear your thoughts.⠀

Here’s to expanding, validating, and celebrating the many ways to resolve religious trauma!⠀

-Brian⠀

#ReligiousTrauma #Trauma #AdverseReligiousExperiences #EndConversionTherapy #PrayAway #Deconstruction #LoveIsLove #LGBTQIA #pride🌈

Resolve Religious Trauma

Hi, my name is Brian Peck, I’m a licensed clinical social worker, my pronouns are he/him, and I understand religious trauma.

You deserve to work with someone who understands the life-altering impact of adverse religious experiences. Not only do I get it, I’ve devoted my professional life to helping survivors resolve their religious trauma.

As a Therapist, I help survivors resolve their religious trauma with body-based therapy and resources.

As a Coach, I empower folks who have been harmed by religion, to clarify their values and learn to trust themselves with trauma-informed coaching and resources.

Videos (show all)

Transforming Shame
You are enough.
Religious Trauma & Race
An Experiment in Connection
Post-traumatic Growth
It's okay to be human.
Social Connection while Social Distancing
How Can Curiosity Help You Thrive After Religion?
There's Power in Your Story
You do not have to be good.
The ACT Question

Location

Category

Products

Religious Trauma Therapy available in Idaho
Trauma-informed Coaching available online

Telephone

Address


6126 W State Street Suite 406
Boise, ID
83703

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 4pm
Wednesday 9am - 4pm
Thursday 9am - 6pm
Friday 10am - 5pm
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