04/15/2024
Dear traveling friends...TODAY was a day. Thought I would share some traveling tips you can pass along to others... not sure if people have been living in caves, but let's do a little review.
1. Va**ng is NOT allowed on planes. It is a federal regulation, and it is PROHIBITED on aircraft. IF you are lucky, a flight attendant will give you a stern reprimanding and give you the benefit of the doubt that you have just escaped from your covid cave where you vaped to your heart's content and are just reentering the mainstream world. IF you are NOT lucky, expect a fine and to be met by authorities at your intended arrival city. Jail time may be a bonus.
2. Va**ng W**D is NOT allowed on planes. Read #1 but SKIP the 'IF you are lucky' part and go STRAIGHT to the 'met by the authorities' part. IF you're lucky, and we can only smell it but can't pinpoint where it's coming from, be prepared for an announcement on the intercom and PRAY to whoever you pray to that no one turns you in.
3. My galley is NOT your kitchen. Your kitchen is NOT my galley. Unless given approval, do not go through my carts and take what you want.
4. Please tell your children about #3. My galley is NOT their kitchen. They may NOT come in when no one is there and go through my carts and take what they want.
5. Making calls via SKYPE or WHATSAPP or any wifi enable communication system is NOT allowed while flying. I don't want to hear you... YOUR neighbor doesn't want to hear you and ...THAT'S RIGHT... IT'S PROHIBITED
6. If sitting in 35D and you have bad reception on your call, don't be a du***ss and come in to my first class cabin and ask outside my curtain 'CAN YOU HEAR ME?' And WHY? Read bullet 5. Be prepared for an ass chewing.
7. If you have a service dog, PLEASE keep him in the area by your seat. Anyone who knows me, KNOWS I love dogs. I do NOT love dogs who are tethered to their owners assigned seat with a LONG leash and who wander into the aisles during my first class meal service while the owner takes an extended visit to the first class lavatory.
That's it for today... I will let you know if I come up with anymore after tomorrow. And, please, feel free to share any you think would be helpful for the returning traveling public.
See you smiling and laughing in the friendly skies!
