08/23/2026
There was a time when my dad and I had an extremely strained relationship.
There were many years that we lost. There was hurt, and as a daughter, there were things I didn't understand. Then I became an adult, had children of my own, lived a little more life, and some of what I thought I understood began to look different.
Not everything. Some things were still wrong. Some things still hurt.
My dad made some choices that had very real consequences for our family and for me. Drugs became a part of his life, and that addiction eventually led to him being absent from his family for years. By the time some things changed, there were parts of what had been lost that couldn't simply be put back the way they were.
I don't say that because I'm angry with him today. I'm not. But healing for me has never meant pretending those things didn't happen or changing the truth of what they affected.
Before all of that, though, he was my Daddy.
And somehow, after everything that happened between us, we eventually found our way back to having a relationship again.
A while back, my dad and I sat down and had a real conversation about all of it. We talked about what happened, what he remembers, what I remember, the years we lost and how our relationship changed over time.
We don't agree on everything.
There are parts of our story that he sees one way and I see another, but we've learned that we can agree to disagree and still love each other.
I think that's important because healing didn't require either one of us to rewrite the past until we finally came up with the same version of it. We had to learn how to hear each other, accept that there were things we experienced differently and still decide what kind of relationship we wanted to have moving forward.
That's one of the reasons I wanted to share this conversation.
Father-daughter relationships matter, and what happens in those relationships can follow a girl much further than childhood. It can affect how she sees herself, how she sees men, what she believes about relationships and even how she feels about the parts of herself that remind her of her father.
I remember hearing, “You're just like your dad,” and it wasn't being said as a compliment.
When a girl hears something like that enough, especially when there's already hurt connected to her father, she can start believing that anything about herself that resembles him must be something she needs to change.
I understand that because there were absolutely things I saw growing up that I knew I did not want to repeat in my own life.
But as I've gotten older, I've also realized that breaking an unhealthy cycle doesn't require me to reject everything that came from my dad.
Some things did need to stop. There were things I had to work through for myself, and forgiveness had its own process. But there are also qualities in me now that I can recognize came straight from him and say, “Aye, I got that from him.”
And I'm okay with that.
So this week, I'm going to share pieces of the conversation between my dad and me and talk about the hurt, identity, what we carry from our parents without always realizing it, and what can happen when we become so determined not to be like someone that we don't stop to consider whether everything we inherited from them was actually bad.
We'll also talk about healing and restoration because I know firsthand that relationships can change.
That doesn't mean every relationship should be restored. Sometimes boundaries are necessary, and there are situations where distance is the wisest and safest choice. Healing also doesn't mean pretending something didn't happen just so everybody can get along.
For me, I'm thankful I had the opportunity to heal what was wounded and rebuild a relationship with my dad.
I hope sharing some of our story this week benefits somebody else who may still be trying to figure out what to do with theirs.
The Years We Lost... The Years God Restored.
This is what I'll be talking about this week.