Free Saint

My morning walk routine…

On overcoming low self esteem started on my last post…

Lesson #6. Make a routine of things that bring you joy…

I routinely dance first thing after waking up…

I routinely visit museums, take short trips, hike in nature, sip mojitos, find vegan restaurants or dance in clubs with friends…

I routinely travel…

I routinely meditate in nature…

How could I not feel love for myself and appreciate my truly remarkable life…

Lesson #7. Never let money be your measuring stick…

Self explanatory but so so true…

Lesson #8. It’s okay to be weird…

The weirder you are, the more likely I’ll love ya…

I don’t really vibe with conformists or dogmatists of ANY belief…

Lesson #9. Don’t be the pushback captain…

I used to be proud of pushing back… but I keep learning to look for diplomacy, tact and empathy…

I did pushback against one of the other students in software school and I think it’s always a mistake to pushback… hopefully I will learn the lesson and never repeat this mistake again…

Live life better…

Overcome your low self-esteem… start with awareness that you have a low self-esteem…

Repost from
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On overcoming low self esteem started on my last post…

Lesson #3. Be a sustainable environmentalist with other people…

A Hawaiian saying has stuck with me for years, “Mālama ka ʻĀina i ka Pono.”

It means take care of the land and leave it better than when you found it…

I find myself saying this a lot… picking up litter in random places… Scrubbing the bathroom without anyone asking…

The Hawaiians like many indigenous people were the first environmentalists but this phrase also applies to people…

Being emotionally unavailable for most of my life, this was hard for me… and sometimes I have hurt people without meaning too… I have never been the type to intentionally hurt people…

I’ve had a lot of adversity the last five years with a bogus tax lien that froze all my assets… I am grateful it was resolved last year when the tax departments settled for $5 k on $550 k liens… after tax appeal court…

But I live by the philosophy “Mālama ka ʻĀina i ka Pono.” It means making things right with any partners also effected by these bogus tax liens even if I am not legally or contractually obligated to do so…

It might not be intuitive but this belief system is really good for your self esteem…

Lesson #4. Truly find your authentic self and let it shine…

At 44 years of age, I am over being someone who I am not…

At this point, it’s either accept me as I am or let’s not pretend that we should be in each other’s lives…

Lesson #5. Just love on people…

I only surround myself with people who make me feel energized, inspired, fulfilled and happy…

So I don’t need to concern myself with boundaries when focusing my life on loving on the people I allow into my life…

Living life better is about loving on other people…

And in this way, I am truly blessed…

Continued on my next post…

On overcoming low self esteem started on my last two posts…

Lesson #6. Make a routine of things that bring you joy…

I routinely dance first thing after waking up…

I routinely visit museums, take short trips, hike in nature, sip mojitos, find vegan restaurants or dance in clubs with friends…

I routinely travel…

I routinely meditate in nature…

How could I not feel love for myself and mire my truly remarkable life…

Lesson #7. Never let money be your measuring stick…

Self explanatory but so so true…

Lesson #8. It’s okay to be weird…

The weirder you are, the more likely I’m love ya…

I don’t really vibe with conformists or dogmatists of ANY belief…

Lesson #9. Don’t be the pushback Queen…

I used to be proud of pushing back… but I keep learning to look for diplomacy, tact and empathy…

I did pushback against when of the other students in software school and I think it’s always a mistake to pushback… hopefully I will learn the lesson and never repeat this mistake again…

Live life better…

Overcome your low self-esteem… start with awareness that you have a low self-esteem…

On overcoming low self esteem started on my last post…

Lesson #3. Be a sustainable environmentalist with other people…

A Hawaiian saying has stuck with me for years, “Mālama ka ʻĀina i ka Pono.”

It means take care of the land and leave it better than when you found it…

I find myself saying this a lot… picking up litter in random places… Scrubbing the bathroom without anyone asking…

The Hawaiians like many indigenous people were the first environmentalists but this phrase also applies to people…

Being emotionally unavailable for most of my life, this was hard for me… and sometimes I have hurt people without meaning too… I have never been the type to intentionally hurt people…

I’ve had a lot of adversity the last five years with a bogus tax lien that froze all my assets… I am grateful it was resolved last year when the tax departments settled for $5 k on $550 k liens… after tax appeal court…

But I live by the philosophy “Mālama ka ʻĀina i ka Pono.” It means making things right with any partners also effected by these bogus tax liens even if I am not legally or contractually obligated to do so…

It might not be intuitive but this belief system is really good for your self esteem…

Lesson #4. Truly find your authentic self and let it shine…

At 44 years of age, I am over being someone who I am not…

At this point, it’s either accept me as I am or let’s not pretend that we should be in each other’s lives…

I definitely have suffered in my life from extremely low self esteem…

The kind of extreme cases of low self-esteem were you feel depressed and contemplate suicide…

The kind of extreme low self esteem where become an addict is positive improvement…

Because I felt invisible in terms of physical attractiveness, it’s like I never felt worthy or enough…

I felt like I needed to build up a hedge fund or venture capital fund to feel worthy of other people’s love… and at least drive a luxury car and live in a luxury zip code for validation…

It all stems from an extremely low self-esteem…

Self authenticity is really the first key step to spiritual transformation…

This seems to be the biggest lesson this year… I have been going through a major metamorphosis in really good ways…

Here are 9 life lessons I’ve learned this year about truly loving yourself…

Lesson #1. Trying to feel better than others is a red flag…

It’s kind of human nature is you don’t feel good about yourself to do things that make you feel more important than others…

This is a classic sign of self esteem…

Lesson #2. Trying to portray yourself more than you are is a red flag…

There is no such thing as fake it til you make it…

Projecting more than you is another classic sign of low self-esteem..

Continued in my next post…

Omg 😱

Tempeh, shimeji mushrooms, black rice with ginger, brussel sprouts, carrots, watercress with mustard vegan mayonnaise and chia seeds…

With a carrot and zucchini soup…

And a passion fruit, pitaya, and guava kombucha…

Is this heaven?

Maybe the best meal I’ve ever eaten…

And the vibe in this restaurant…

Caamp playing with a greenery of plants everywhere…

Great food, healthy food…

With food like this, I keep losing weight…

I am at 150 lbs now and 18% body fat…

All while eating better than ever…

Life is so good…

Live life better…

The world is perfect…

Ola… Tudo bem?

When I think about my life, it strikes me how weird and peculiar I am…

I’ve never really fit in anywhere…

I’ve always been kind of a loner… having my own thoughts and trailblazing my own path…

I don’t check any conventional boxes…
I am quite often invisible and misunderstood…

I watch the little kindergartners in line on their field trip to the modern art museum… I never had that…

I moved schools and areas of the country every year… I have never been properly socialized…

I am living in Portugal 🇵🇹 and visiting the Museo Colecao Berardo and admiring the “gestures” of emotions from Jackson Pollack..

I feel like that’s my life… throwing spaghetti metaphorically like Pollock’s paint textures… seeing what sticks on the non-conventional non-canvas…

I don’t know if my life is a tragedy or if I found the secrets to joy, freedom and happiness…

But what I do know is that the veggies and fruits taste oh so delicious in Portugal…

I know that this art museum and Belém tower is just a 37 min walk from my Lisbon apartment…

I know how the purple colors of the sunrise of Lisboa’s copy of the Golden Gate bridge (and uphill climbing trolley 🚃) bring happiness to my heart…

I know that I routinely do 100 squats and walk 4 to 12 miles everyday…

I know that I miraculously went from 245 lbs with grey hair and wrinkles to 165 lbs with black hair and no wrinkles… I went from size 40 XL to size 28 medium…

I know that I feel young and vibrant…

I know that I am fully alive and I know that today was better than yesterday…

My blood flows red…

And maybe that’s enough to celebrate living..

Everything is working out in my favor…