08/12/2026
This past Thursday I found myself face down on a table in a big white room, with my breast poking through a hole in the table and my head turned at an angle that killed my already damaged neck.
That's what a breast biopsy looks like, and I'm describing it because nobody described it to me.
Everyone in that room was kind. The nurse, the assistant, the doctor, all of them were doing what they could to make me comfortable.
I wasn’t. That position was miserable for a body of a certain age.
They'd told me I'd have localized numbness (ie: you’re gonna be awake and aware) so I'd pictured some pressure, a needle, and some post op instructions. Easy peasy.
Not so fast. I was in pain and pi**ed off at how unprepared I felt for how uncomfortable it was. Where was the disconnect? Me? Them? The patriarchy? Who do I blame?
Before you decide I handled this beautifully, hear me out.
When I'm hurting, and I can't move, and I've been put in a situation I was not expecting, I get short, snippy, snarky, some might call it mad. That's my default, and it’s been my pattern for a long time. I’m a Yo-Yo. Part of what that means is that disappointment manifests as anger when my expectations are not met.
Lying there, I caught it.
The position I was in wasn't anybody's fault in that room. It wasn't the nurse's fault, or the assistant's, or the doctor's, and getting mad at them wasn't going to move that machine one inch.
So I did it differently. I communicated my needs. I told them when I needed more numbing, and the rest of the time I stayed quiet and I breathed, to calm inner self so we that I could get through this and get the heck outta there.
My point is that I wish I knew what to expect and it would have been nice to have a little something to take the edge off the whole experience. No shower, lifting, or exercising for 48 hrs. Yuk!
Then, three days later, it was my birthday and be in a celebratory mood. I forgot to mention that the dog got sick too! Let the fun begin. 😂
My husband and his stepdaughter, aka my daughter, planned the whole day. Croissants and mimosas at home, a French antique market to walk around in beautiful weather, brunch somewhere lovely, and then home for my favorite cake, which is Whole Foods strawberry shortcake.
It was quiet and it was nice, which is what I want now. I don't need a big production over every year that goes by. I was perfect.
I'll admit the number landed on me harder than the needle did. I entered the Medicare years last year, so I'm the same age as old people. How did that happen?
Three days between the most uncomfortable thing I've been through in years and one of the nicest days I've had all summer.
Two things can be true at the same time.
My point in sharing this with you is a formula I teach, and I got to use it in real time this weekend.
S + R = R.
The Situation plus Reaction/Response equals Result.
The situation was the hospital rooms, the machines, the positioning, and the pain. None of that was in my control except how I reacted or responded to it all. My reaction could have been snippy with people who were being nothing but kind, and the result would have been a rough morning plus something to feel bad about later.
The response I chose was to tell them what I needed, breathe through the discomfort and stay respectful and kind to the people who were doing their jobs.
Just because you have the emotion, doesn't mean you need to be the emotion.
That R in the middle is something you have to choose. And, by default, it’s usually the knee-jerk reaction and not the intentional response.
You have a default. Mine is snippy and angry. I've known that about myself for years, and that's the only reason I caught it in time.
You have to know yourself before you can grow yourself. That's what the Personal Performance Profile does. It's a simple yes/no questionnaire that takes about 3 or 4 minutes, and it tells you the pattern driving how you show up, especially when you're uncomfortable, disappointed, or in pain.
I just want to invite you to take it today, while this is still fresh. Once you recognize your go to reaction, you can tailor your response for a different result.
Take the Personal Performance Profile Here: https://evamedilek.com/quiz
