Colorful Advice

09/28/2022

True intimacy is an act of courage! 💖

07/23/2022

This is what my day of rest looks like. Practicing some ukulele, loving language, perfect prose, and journaling. Grateful for a slow day.

11/10/2021

11/01/2020

So true.

Thank you for this lovely and colorful reminder

10/14/2020

10/07/2020

I hear this a lot from all genders and orientations. "Liking s*x makes me slutty!"

ID: a text image. Black type on a white background. "You are not a slt for enjoying s*x. Your body was created with the potential for great pleasure. Feeling pleasure with yourself or a partner does not make you a slut. It means you are enjoying yourself."

You wouldn't feel guilty over a massage feeling amazing. Or for enjoying a hot shower after a long day. Why have guilt over enjoying yourself while you are connecting with another person?

If you feel guilt, is it your opinion or does it come from someone/somewhere else? What moments have you had in your life that added to, or change your pleasure into a negative? How can you release those negative feelings? (All of these questions can also be applied to feeling negative emotions about a partner experiencing pleasure too).

I am pleased to know so many people who have proudly taken back the word slut. It gives them confidence. It is an expression of their autonomy and agency. It helps them release guilt, shame, and shadow.

*x *xed *xybasics *xed

10/07/2020

I hear this a lot from all genders and orientations. "Liking s*x makes me slutty!"

ID: a text image. Black type on a white background. "You are not a slt for enjoying s*x. Your body was created with the potential for great pleasure. Feeling pleasure with yourself or a partner does not make you a slut. It means you are enjoying yourself."

You wouldn't feel guilty over a massage feeling amazing. Or for enjoying a hot shower after a long day. Why have guilt over enjoying yourself while you are connecting with another person?

If you feel guilt, is it your opinion or does it come from someone/somewhere else? What moments have you had in your life that added to, or change your pleasure into a negative? How can you release those negative feelings? (All of these questions can also be applied to feeling negative emotions about a partner experiencing pleasure too).

I am pleased to know so many people who have proudly taken back the word slut. It gives them confidence. It is an expression of their autonomy and agency. It helps them release guilt, shame, and shadow.

10/04/2020

"Remove expectations from people and you will remove their power to hurt your feelings. If you don't like something just take away it's only power, your attention."

Removing expectations will set you free in so many ways. Making room for you to see what is actually there, and not what you hope to be there. It will also help eliminate the hurt created when things are not going how you expected them to. Releasing expectation is like have a super power that allows you a different view of the world and people around you.

We are what we invest our attention in. I know that is a weird phrase. It's true though. Have you ever told yourself you wouldn't be involved in drama and then somehow inexplicably found yourself surrounded by some? Have you needed rest and to recharge but instead felt more drained because of giving that energy to others?

We receive from the universe opportunities for growth, to break our own patterns so we can evolve. Releasing the power expectations, and removing our attention are two of the easiest ways to begin to make that transition.

If someone is trying to creature stress and trouble in your life release your own expectation of their behavior, and then remove your attention. Take a step back. Set down a boundary. You are allowed to say, "I do not have the energy for this."

09/27/2020

"Communicate especially when it is uncomfortable. Even more so when it is not easy. You only truly regret the words you never said."

Communication is essential for healthy and thriving connection. It can be incredibly intimidating though. How do we communicate when we feel so uncomfortable? How do we tell people things that may hurt their hearts? How do we balance staying true to ourselves and our boundaries, while also communicating our wants and needs?

You get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You acknowledge that this may be hard, awkward, or just down right terrible. Then you choose to do it anyway.

Those that are meant to love and respect you will, even after that conversations. Those that are not meant to love or respect you will find any reason not to do so.

You may come to the understanding that I have, that I only regret the things I keep myself from saying. When you communicate it is a way of lightening the load you carry. It is freeing. It will reprogram the parts of your brain that have learned that talking about your needs is wrong or selfish. It will release some of those shadows.

#

09/26/2020

Grab your coffee, a snack, and then come join *xylove, .s*x.ed, and I ( ) for our talk about The Power of Exploring and Sharing Your Sexual Stories tomorrow morning!

Link to the festival is in my bio link tree. And commented below.

*xylove .s*x.ed *xualstories

09/24/2020

What small steps are you taking? What steps do you want to take? What steps do you feel you need to be taking?

Deep breath. You got this!

09/23/2020

Tomorrow is the day!!!! I can barely sit still!

Shadows and Light starts tomorrow 9/24/2020.

Link to the festival is in my bio link tree. And commented below.

*xylove .s*x.ed *xualstories