Little House Lessons

From the mind of an early childhood specialist, teacher, and mental health professional: (and backed by copious amounts of evidence)

When you squash a young child’s ability to say no to the parent(s), you must accept full responsibility later when they are unable to:

Lead a balanced work/home life
Deny unwanted advances from others
Quiet their anxious mind from intrusive thoughts
Say no to sexual predators
Maintain autonomy over their body
Trust their instincts
Know their core identity
Stand up for themselves

This whole approach to parenting that uses phrase such as

“You don’t say no to mom/dad”
“You obey mom/dad instantly”
“You always obey the teacher”

…is child abuse. Specifically, for those in the back, it’s emotional and psychological abuse.

Our job as parents is to GUIDE children.

Guiding means allowing space for them to practice all the aforementioned techniques- so that they turn into natural skills as young adults.

If you have uttered the above similar phrases or entertain the mindset that children are to practice first time obedience….

….You absolutely require professional counseling and an apology to your child(ren.)

Parenting is supposed to be fu***ng hard.

You’re responsible for how they turn out later in life - and you’re responsible for guiding by example.

And if your example isn’t full of emotional validation, empathy, APPROPRIATE accountability, many apologies, and double the laughter…then you’re not parenting.

(Psst: if you believe in these misguided concepts of authoritarian-oops-you-like-to-wrongly-call-it-authoritative parenting, then you’re not parenting 😘)

You’re commanding. And that, my dear, is entirely unrelated to childhood.

In short : behavior modification is not your goal. And raising pliable children is DEFINITELY not your job.

Making your space more inviting and more creative for young minds

🚌✨ Welcome aboard our Dramatic Play Center, now set up as a delightful school! In this video, I take you on a tour of our imaginative classroom setup that ties perfectly into our transportation theme. 🎭📚 Check out our handmade cardboard school bus, complete with whimsical parts that spark creativity and role-play. Plus, don’t miss the teacher’s area where students can step into the role of leading the class, and a carefully selected array of books perfect for easy retelling.

And keep Bluey! The best show I’ve seen in my 41 years.

One of the most challenging things we face when cultivating secure dynamics with our children is the harsh onslaught that can arise from their mouths when they are in dysregulated states.It can trigger our past traumas, it can lead us to panic about their potential as a human being, and on a basic level, it can hurt.But, they are not actually saying what they mean. Emotional floods make it incredibly hard for a developing brain to access meaningful speech. When children first learn to walk, their steps are wobbly and often result in falling. Similarly, when children are learning how to communicate their needs in highly emotional moments, their words fumble and often come out in immature forms.In those moments they need us too stay focused on their emotional disorientation and pain, offering them compassion and a soft and sturdy person to rely on as the emotional flood peaks and then passes.And then they need us to help them find more accurate words for what was happening in their body and in the moment . “You felt really hurt and disappointed that it was time to leave”. “That was really painful for you” “You really wished you didn’t have to” etc.💛 For more help in learning how to develop a positive and secure relationship with your children at any stage of development, comment SECURE below and I will send you a link to preorder my new book: Raising Securely Attached Kids: Connected Parenting for Confidence, Empathy and Resilience💛

Rotations are great for 2 reasons (and more):

1. They provide opportunity for youngs to learn the process of time management (sand timers).

2. They allow plenty of space for social-emotional development with peers WHILE granting them control over how they use their time.

(And, it gives teachers a fantastic amount of time to observe and assess!)

🌟👫 Welcome to our flexible and fun center time! 🎨🧩 In today’s video, I’m excited to show you how we empower our preschoolers with choice and responsibility during their playtime. 📛 Each student has a name tag with a Velcro dot on the back, allowing them to attach it to any center they choose during our hour of center time. This system encourages autonomy and decision-making as they navigate where they want to play and for how long. It’s all about fostering independence while having loads of fun! ⏳ When a center gets full, we use sand timers to ensure everyone gets a turn. Depending on how long kids have been at a center, I set the timer for three or five minutes. Once the sand runs out, it's time for a new group to enjoy the activities. This helps teach patience and sharing in a very tangible way. 🚶‍♂️🚶‍♀️ During the first few weeks, I’m actively involved in managing these transitions—making sure everyone’s name tag is in the right spot, centers are cleaned up, and that all children are interacting kindly. It’s crucial not only to establish these routines but to reinforce them consistently, ensuring our little ones truly understand and follow the rules. 📝 Remember, establishing clear expectations and routines from the start is essential for a smooth and successful year. It might take extra time and effort early on, but it sets the tone for a fantastic year of learning and growth. 👉 You can find all the materials used, including center signs, name tag spots, and extra name tags on my website, preschoolvibes.com. Plus, I use alien tape to keep signs secure—it’s a game changer! 🎥 Watch now to see how we navigate center time with creativity and care, ensuring each child feels valued and independent. Let’s make this school year the best one yet! 🌈✨

Hi, I'm Kristen, founder of Little House Lessons and I'm so excited you're here! I share cool activities for creatively resilient kids, magically mindful teaching strategies, and occasional musings on guiding young children that bring in a WHOLE lot of new faces 🥰 so here's a little about me:

🎈I create activities, lesson plans, and teacher guides that the whole preschool class can enjoy. The greatest compliment I get is when someone says one of my lessons helped them connect better with their young preschoolers. 🫂

🎹I released my first album this year on Spotify. I composed and recorded it for teachers to use in their classrooms to reduce anxiety and decrease stress. My album is a collection of classical piano pieces that also tie in with a music and emotions unit I wrote for middle school students.

💌I'm the mom of two darling girls, 10 and 11.

📚I'm a 1st-generation : it took me several years of treading water in an environment that encouraged control rather than guidance in the classroom. I am SO thankful to have grown and developed a strong sense of identity - the key to .

✂️I have no siblings. Growing up was lonely and it’s quite an adventure - a deeply worthwhile experience - learning how to guide two very different young personalities in my home 🥴

✏️I attended public school for my entire academic career and then got a couple of degrees in college. I’m finishing up my third degree this year!

🖊️I was the stay-at-home parent when the girls were little: I went back to work when they were 6 years old and it saved my sanity. (I really needed to go back sooner but had too much anxiety that I’d “ruin” my children if I worked.)

📍I dream of a world where every child is sacred, childhood is magical, and everyone's needs are met.

🖌️I follow Jesus, I believe in yes/and thinking: i love herbalism + science + social justice, and building resilience + preparedness skills.

🖍️I am still happily journeying in my sexuality and identity.

🔗 I think the word "community" is way overused, especially in terms of online platforms. So I don't consider what I'm doing here to be building community: rather, it's a container for like-minded folks to come together and try our best to be the teachers we want to be. ✨It’s also a hope of mine that people come here to challenge what they know and seek to understand sides and perspectives that they aren’t going to agree with. ✨

✨ But as we all yearn for more IRL connection, I'm dreaming up ways that I might be able to help facilitate that!

Adults are triggered. And when we are triggered it means WE have more healing to do. And kids can’t develop healthy patterns on their own.

I listened to a mom once tell me how children biting is sinful and needs to be punished.

My whole body reacted to that statement because it was so deeply wrong.

Biting is actually something we ought to expect. It’s simply a communication tool used by children who, in the moment, cannot use words and need to be heard.

We definitely refocus the behavior and give them MANY opportunities to bite on things they can while teaching them tools for speaking when they aren’t yet able or when they’re too emotionally activated.

Parents - children are not sinful. The way we parent them can be sinful when we place adult expectations onto children who are developing exactly how they were built to.

We need to really stop taking child appropriate behaviors and turning them into issues. Just gently refocus and move on.

I have heard far too many situations of children who are declared "naughty" because they throw(please do not use that word to describe a child...ever) .

Please listen to me:
Throwing is NOT bad behavior.
The bad behavior is adults who prevent children from throwing or worse, PUNISH children who throw.

It is the adult's responsibility to provide "YES!" opportunities to throw.

I have heard ALL the exceptions, with my favorite being "What if a child throws in anger?"

That is still not "bad behavior". That is simply a child who needs thoughtful coaching in regards to how to handle anger. It is also a child who, more often than not, does not have enough opportunities to throw.

Back to the point of this post:

Throwing is a NEED, it is usually NOT an expression of anger, it is a physical NEED.
It is one of Chris Athey's identified "Play Schemes". It is one of many ways children are wired to collect information about this world.

Think about all you learn from throwing different things! There is much to be learned.

Throwing also provides a gazillion benefits for the developing body!

Throwing IS PRE-writing (note: PRE=BEFORE). Throwing requires all the same muscles to coordinate together as writing does! Everything from the CORE to the fingers is needed for throwing. All of those muscles (core, upper back, shoulders, biceps, triceps, forearms, wrists, hands and fingers) need to be able to work together in order to throw AND in order to write.

Throwing is PRE-reading (again PRE=BEFORE). In order for eyes to read a line of words, they need to be able to track things in REAL SPACE (NOTE: not a screen. Eyes need depth, they need REAL. Throwing provides an excellent opportunity to develop visual tracking skills.

Throwing also involves eye-hand coordination, ESPECIALLY when what is being thrown is a pendelum. Eye-hand coordination is necessary for writing.

My go to solution for opportunities to throw is nylon shower puffs. They are inexpensive, they are soft and can easily be come a pendelum, or have a strip of fabric or ribbon added for even more enjoyment. Stuffed animals are also fantastic (I stocked up years ago on these stuffed mice from Ikea...wonderful for throwing)

I coach children to use the "noggin test". If they are unsure if something is okay to throw, tap it on your noggin (head) first. If it makes no sound, it's typically safe to throw. Is it a perfect test, no...but it creates an opportunity for a child to pause and think before throwing.

Obviously this method is probably not going ro work with an 11 month old who NEEDS to throw... but you can still begin coaching this technique AND....you can do your job by knowing who your throwers are and keeping safe materials near them.

Go forth and LET THEM THROW!!!
Change YOUR behavior.

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***Book my VALUABLE keynote or workshop for your next training event : "The MISSED NEEDS in "MISS"behaviors". It is all about the needs ALL children have that, when missed by the adults leads to unnecessary stress in the environment. It addresses SIMPLE changes and awareness that leads to significant reductions in stress for both adults and children so EVERYONE can be their best self!****