06/13/2016
A bit of guidance for those wondering about how to talk to their children about the recent events in Orlando:
In times of stress and sadness children turn to their parent(s) for comfort and a clearer understanding of how to respond to their emotions. It is the role of the parent to begin the conversation and to model appropriate responses to this incredibly confusing and sad event. These conversations, of course, must be framed within the developmental level of each child. Remember that no matter the age of your child, he/she can observe and feel your reactions and it can be upsetting for a child to see his/her parent sad, angry, scared, etc. But it can also be an opportunity for your child to see that it is ok to feel a wide range of emotions and that you are there to provide support and comfort.
If your child has been around other peers, then chances are he/she has heard something about what has happened. Silence is where misconceptions are formed. It subtly conveys the message that you don’t want to, or are unable to talk about something. Instead you want to make sure that the information your child has is accurate and that your child has an opportunity to talk about whatever is on his/her mind. Open up the conversation and let your child be the guide as to how much information he/she needs. Typically children need less information initially. Too much info all at once can be overwhelming. Keep explanations simple, factual and non-judgmental. Then encourage your child to ask questions. This gives you a better understanding of what your child is currently concerned about. Answer questions to the best of your ability, again bearing in mind the developmental level of your child. When you don’t know an answer, be honest about that. You are modeling for your child how to react in the face of uncertainty. Children want to know that they are safe and that those they love are safe. This may be a time to talk about the ways that your family stays safe during times of crisis.
Limit or prevent your child’s exposure to media coverage of the situation and to adult conversations about the event. Over time your child will likely have more questions and so it is important to continue to keep the lines of communication open and to provide opportunities for further discussion and clarification.
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network www.nctsn.org has a variety of additional articles and resources or feel free to email me at [email protected] with questions.
