Ditch The Game

I talk a lot about masculine/feminine energy and how being in your masculine means you act as the calm in the midst of your woman’s feminine “storm.”

I don’t mean a literal storm, but every relationship, at some point will feel an emotional storm.

More often than not the person in your relationship who embodies more of a feminine energy will by nature, be a bit more emotional.

Because that’s in essence what feminine energy is: cyclical, emotional and it’s always changing.

So as the masculine energy you can be grounding for your feminine woman and give her the gift of your presence and stability.

Which has a ton of benefits. ;)

However, as men, we too have emotions.
But, we are conditioned to be the strong one…

We are told to “be a man” and “boys don’t cry…

Our conditioning leaves us stuffing down our emotions and feeling guilty for feeling low.

Learning that I don’t always have to be the calm one and am allowed to emote has been one of the most rewarding aspects of my relationship.

I’m really grateful I have a wife that will allow me to express what I’m feeling when I’m feeling it and be able to handle it in a way that makes me feel heard and understood.

Her support is something I can count on.

It’s one of the greatest unexpected gifts I’ve received from my wife. Because without it, things wouldn’t be the same.

I’d probably find other unhealthy ways to repress my emotions like p**n or alcohol or drugs; simply because I didn’t have a place to go with them.

So think about that as you’re out there trying to find your person. And make sure you find someone who can be your calm in the storm when you need her.

Find someone who can give you the safe space you need when things feel a bit “off” in your world.

It will make a huge difference in your quality of life.

Grateful to work with amazing men who are ready to show up in their lives and relationships.

I'm not just another dating coach! I mean, of course we will talk about dating but I believe that we can't just change one area of our lives without it changing other areas.

Are you ready for change? Check out my FREE training here >>> https://watch.natehockstra.com/s/atc6OD

A lot of emotional stuff came up for me in my relationship while I had COVID earlier this month...but having to rely solely on my wife for my needs has been very difficult.

I had a lot of insecure feelings come up during this time.

For example, I feared that if I’m sick and unhealthy I’m not going to be a worthy mate and she’ll want to leave me for some healthier man...

Or that if I couldn’t work for two weeks it meant that I couldn’t provide for our family and she would find someone who could...

Or that she was going to resent me for having to take care of me when I was sick because she didn’t have the space to do the things she wanted...

And on and on…

I had to really get my head straight and ask myself some hard questions to find the actual truth.

But you know what’s interesting, as afraid as I was and in my less than ideal state, I actually shared these fears with her.

And you know what?

She respected me for it. The fact that I was vulnerable created a space for her to feel like I was being open and sharing my feelings.

And let me tell you a little secret: WOMEN LOVE WHEN YOU SHARE YOUR FEELINGS WITH THEM.

So while in the past I might have harbored these insecurities of mine, the fact that I shared them with her that created a deeper intimacy for us both.

I was met with compassion, love, and appreciation BECAUSE I shared these thoughts. The alternative could have been to harbor these emotions, treat her badly because I was projecting a fear on her she wasn’t even aware of, and then create an argument that leads to disconnection.

The truth is, the wrong woman could have exploited these insecurities, left me for another guy or made me feel bad about being weak.

But the right woman offers space for our vulnerabilities and loves us for who we are. The right woman sees past the times of weakness and honors our true nature.

So, remember, vulnerability creates space for intimacy. Because my wife held a space for me to voice my true vulnerability, it created trust and deepened our bond. It allowed me to know I was safe with her.

You can’t have intimacy without trust.

Find a woman who respects you and your favorite things!

My wife isn’t a golfer but knows that I love to golf. When we first started dating she would ride around in the cart to spend time with me.

Now it’s just when we travel. The great thing is, she supports my hobbies as I do hers.

Guys, being in a relationship doesn’t have to feel like you have to give up a part of yourself. You can still be who you are with the right person!

If you feel like you can’t find her or have tried EVERYTHING, check out my free training with the link below to learn the 5 steps to finding your dream woman!

Click here >>> https://watch.natehockstra.com/s/atc6OD

Dating can be really tough when you don’t know what you want or feel like you can’t fully be yourself.

When I met my wife, we spent our first date talking for hours. She mentioned that it was the first time she felt she could just be herself on a date.

When we play games in dating, we rob ourselves from attracting the right person, the one who compliments who we truly are.

I can honestly say that dropping the masks we thought we needed to wear has made for an authentic connection and marriage. We see each other for who we truly are: the good, the bad, the ugly!

Are you ready to drop your mask and ditch the game?

Dating doesn’t end once you’re married!

Just returned from 3 awesome days in Austin, Texas with my love.

Weekend getaways can be a great way to reconnect with your special someone.

Where are some of your favorite weekend getaway locations?

One of the greatest joys of doing what I do is being able to see my clients find the women of their dreams.

Recently, my wife and I attended one of my client’s weddings. It was amazing to see him so happy and fulfilled.

When I introduced him to my wife he told her “this day wouldn’t have been possible without Nate’s help.”

That just may be the best compliment I’ve received of my career.

I’m passionate about what I do and take pride in the program I’ve developed to help men find meaningful relationships.

If you’re wondering how this is possible, book a call with me here: https://natehockstra.com/apply

It’s wedding season and love is in the air. Let’s get you on track to meeting the woman of your dreams today!

My wife released her 3rd published book yesterday and to commemorate it, she interviewed me! She asks me a lot of questions about what helped me to improve my dating life and ultimately led me to her. Check it out!

Sunrise Gratitude w/ Nate Hockstra My guest today is one of my favorite people, my husband, Nate. He is the founder of Ditch the Game where he helps men find meaningful relationships without u...

I talk to a lot of guys each week. Usually, these are conversations with guys who have booked a call with me to talk and get some help in their dating lives.
I speak with guys of all types: blue collar guys, white collar guys, some in their 20’s, a lot of them in their 30’s and 40’s, and even some guys in their 50’s. Guys from all over the US and various backgrounds.
The one commonality that seems to be prevalent with these guys is, loneliness.
“Cool Nate, thanks for bringing the sunshine into my life today”, I hear you saying to yourself.
Now before you delete the email and dismiss what I’m about to say. I realize I may have added more salt in the wound and if you are in fact, a lonely guy, bear with me…
There’s a lot of value in being able to see reality for how it is. In fact, it’s when we resist reality we often get into trouble. Whether it’s a shoving it down and acting like it’s not there or just plain finding ways to distract ourselves from it, neither are good options.
Obviously, our world has seen it’s better days. And these effects of the shutdowns and quarantines have made the lonely people even more lonely. And the sting of loneliness is not something to mess around with. There’s a lot of data out there that suggests it’s one of the worst things for us.
In fact, I read about a study the other day done by two psychologists at UC Berkeley of 9000 people where the goal was to see what had the biggest effects on people’s longevity. In the 9- year study what ended up being the biggest predictor of longevity in men was not exercise or diet or how much cholesterol they did or didn’t have, it was the quality of their personal relationships. And what determined whether men would die younger was whether or not they were married.
“Cool Nate, thanks for that.”
Now here’s the thing, many of my clients who have gone through this pandemic are actually less lonely than they’ve ever been.
I’m not here to advocate what to believe about social distancing and how to go about it; that’s totally up to you. Whether you could care less about social distancing or you prefer to keep your distance and go the Zoom route, you too can be successful in your dating life even amidst this pandemic.
Take my client Erik for example, here’s a guy who was having NO success even before the pandemic. His confidence was low, he was frustrated, and had little success dating women.
After just two weeks of working together on some crucial changes in his online dating approach, his confidence and a few other things, he met someone online, went on a few dates and started a magnificent relationship…DURING quarantine!
Loneliness be gone!
If you’re the type who lays in bed at night wishing you had someone to fall asleep next to and wake up to the next morning, let’s talk. Because I bet now more than ever, you’re feeling it and it doesn’t have to be that way.
I do free 30-40 minute “breakthrough calls” where we talk about what challenges you’re facing, what type of relationship you want to create, and discuss whether I think I can help you. If you’re ready to find a partner and be one of the guys who finds someone in the midst of chaos, not someone who suffers more pain of loneliness each and every night, let’s talk.
This is for you if:
You’re a successful guy in other areas of your life like your career or business but for whatever reason have not been able to find love
You’re committed to finding a partner you can spend the rest of your life with
You confused about dating, why it’s not working for you and understand the value of having a coach to help you navigate the modern dating landscape
Go to natehockstra.com/apply to book a time to speak with me. Let’s rid any loneliness that may be prevalent, find you the woman you're meant to go to sleep with and wake up to, each and every day.
Talk soon.

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