Amaya Shiva Coaching & Astrology

Your attachment style shows up EVERYWHERE in your life- especially in the bedroom.

How soon you sleep with someone, what you do after, and how connected you are doing?

All relate to this.

If you jump in fast, and get pi**ed and withdraw when you don't get what you want...

If you take a really long time to reach out to someone..

If you don't want to snuggle...

If you fantasize about trips to Mexico after 1 makeout session..

If you've been single for 2 or more years..

If you feel like there is NOBODY out there for you..

Or you are waiting for your King or Queen to show up??

It's time to talk 🥰

Because you might be sabotaging opportunities for aligned, juicy connection, without even REALIZING it!!

Drop a heart in this post if you want to learn what to do about this...

If you are wondering..”why don’t I want to have s3x anymore??”

You are not alone.

One article I read said that 40-70% of women have low libido!

And part of what made me become a s*x and relationship coach is that I used to struggle with the SAME DAMN THING!

Or so I thought…

However, the truth of what was REALLY happening?

Might surprise you- and hell, it might even INSPIRE you..

Let me start at the beginning.

When I was teenager and young adult I definitely had a strong libido.

But I didn’t really like having s3x.

Weird??

Not really (more on that in another article, so stay tuned)

MANY of my clients report something similar.

As I entered my late 20’s and 30’s and years of marriage under my belt..

My libido all but disappeared.

I remember laying in bed crying, wondering how the hell I was going to fix this..

Fast forward 10 years and a divorce..

I was at my first week long workshop to help me unravel s*xual shame and trauma, and I was super nervous.

Were icky dudes gonna hit on me?

Was NOBODY going to hit on me??

As we went through the exercises, I had a MASSIVE breakthrough…

I actually have a very healthy libido

AND- I’m not ge***al pe*******on driven.

As I learned more and more about my erotic blueprint, I realized-

All those hollywood movie scenes where the girl is hot, heavy, and ready to go in an instant???

Had left me with a concept of how to get turned on that was COMPLETELY wrong for my erotic and intimacy blueprint type!

The truth?

I hadn’t been receiving the kind of attention and stimulation that worked for ME- I had been trying to stumble along by learning what some fictional characters on TV do…weird that it didn’t work, right?? Lol

This is why one of the BIG parts of the work I do with my relationship coaching clients in Austin, the Bay area, and globally..

Is help them unravel how to get turned on according to their UNIQUE NEEDS!!

Not based on some Hollywood fantasy that probably did more harm than good to your s*x life.

The REAL reason so many people have low libidos??

Is this 👇🏻

They have no clue what their sensual needs are because nobody teaches us this stuff!

The great news? This means your low libido problem could very well be-

A LACK OF RIGHT ACTIVITY THAT TURNS YOU ON!

Because I’ve seen the transformation in hundreds of people and clients first hand.

Clients who went from thinking they would NEVER have great s*x or feel safe in partnership-

To now having the best s # of their lives- after decades of marriage, years of mediocre connection, and feeling completely hopeless..

If they can do it?

So can you.

Your loving s # and relationship coach in Austin, TX, who is here to help you make your dream s # and relationship life come true!

Amaya Shiva

Falling in love with potential

Any of you have “the one who got away?”

I did.

We will call him B.

I met B while we were teenagers, and I had an IMMEDIATE crush on him.

We were both in bands, and over the years, played some shows together and would see each other out and about as part of the scenes we were in.

We also saw each other at University, and I would visit the building he worked in, hoping for a glimpse of him in the hallways, my heart rate always jumping when I did “happen” to run into him.

It didn’t lessen over the years- it got stronger.

One time we were both at a wedding and I all could think about was sneaking down to his room to find him and make out with him, my mind consumed with the fantasy of it all.

At one point, years later after my divorce, I told him about my crush.

He was SO surprised- and expressed that he had felt similarly.

We couldn’t believe it.

We started texting as friends, and eventually, it morphed into something else.

But here’s the big catch- he was living overseas

AND- he had a girlfriend.

When I let him know that for me, this wasn’t a game, and that I had real feelings for him?

He retracted.

I was devastated- and was REALLY clear that this was not going to work for me unless I could have more.

We broke off communication.

Time passed.

Eventually we came back together to the same pattern- first as friends, and then as lovers in the throes of unrequited desire.

Again I spoke my deep desires.

Again he pulled away.

Now, I have always been a sensitive, creative, and imaginative person.

What I came to realize is…

I had concocted a whole FANTASY that led me to fall in love with him.

But when I look at the cold, hard facts?

He had never actually showed up the way I wanted someone to.

Yes, he had great words.

Great words aren’t enough.

Nor is desire and a long term longing.

Moral of the story?

Don’t fall in love with the fantasy of a person-

Connect to what is ACTUALLY showing up for you!

Otherwise you will be left chasing breadcrumbs…

Trying to heal subconscious childhood wounds about “worthiness”....

Instead of seeing who is worthy in front of you.

Because now instead of seeing someone who got away??

I see how I dodged a freaking bullet.

This is what we are up to in this community❤️

Radical truth, radical self accountability, and radical SELF LOVE that doesn't let you play games or be breadcrumbed.

Your loving relationship coach,
Amaya Shiva

There is a secret reason that BOTH anxious and avoidant people feel stress around relationship…

Even though their behaviors might be completely opposite.

Now, how it manifests in their lives is of course very different..

One style tends to cling, staying in relationships way too long and accepting breadcrumbs..

The other style pushes away emotionally available people, often finding them to be “boring” and takes the course of hyper independence.

But the truth?

They both carry a deep seated fear of abandonment.

The good news?

This CAN be worked through.

Once you make all that unconscious noise in the background CONSCIOUS??

Then you can start to self soothe and move through the stories that kept you playing the same old games.

Because if you’re here?

You’re ready for something different.

You’re ready for quality, deep, embodied love.

It’s time to get your nervous system ready to receive it.

Because until then?

You will push away every great option OR cling to sh*tty partners that don’t truly nourish you.

No thanks!

There is a MUCH better way.

Your loving relationship coach,
Amaya Shiva

Is “casual s*x” good or bad??
🧐
Here are my thoughts…

First, here’s how Oxford Language Dictionary defines it

“s*xual activity between people who are not established s*xual partners or do not know each other well”

I can accept that.

AND- I can NOT accept that “casual” is ever a word that can be paired with s*x.

Non-committal s*x?

Totally.

One time only s*x?

Yup, also a real thing.

Occasional s*x?

Yup.

Why do I say that?

Because s*x, by it’s very nature, is anything BUT casual.

It is my belief that when we have s*x that there is an intertwining of our subtle energies with that of our partners.

For some of you, myself included- this leads to an energetic connection.

Energetic connections often lead to emotional connections.

In fact, one of the REAL reasons breakups hurt so much?

Is that your Aura or energetic field actually changes shape when connected deeply to another person, and losing that person means your energetic field has essentially lost a LIMB which it needs to regrow and repair.

You literally LOSE a part of yourself that then needs to regenerate. That’s why its important to regenerate your energetic field between partners- so you can come in WHOLE.

Because as humans, we fuse with one another.
Back to the main question- is it okay to have non-committed s*x?

That depends on you and the person in question.

If you are transparent, you both find joy in the exchange, and you are honest and clear-

Then absolutely go for it.

IF that is in alignment for you.

If NOT?

Don’t do it.

And- DO always treat your s*x and that of another person as divine, holy, and with reverence.

Because s*x is the most powerful, creative act on Earth.

Treat it as such 🙂

Let me know what’s landing for you 🥰

What is the WORST and BEST experience you've had from casual s*x?

I got the most incredible message from a client yesterday...

We met when she attended a Wild Women Rising retreat I hosted a couple summers ago, and a few months later she came to me seeking support.

"I have the most wonderful husband" she said,

"But I feel completely disconnected from him. I don't even really want to have s*x anymore, and I don't know what's wrong with me"

Nothing was WRONG with her.

She was just unpracticed at speaking her real needs, and was experiencing the weight of 1,000 small requests she never made because her inner people pleaser was ruling the show.

So we went DEEP into emotional release work, and helped her feel safe expressing ALL of her.

3 short months later?

She and her husband had the BEST s*x of their LIVES.

But that was just the tip of the iceberg

Because THESE are the messages I got from her yesterday...
eah...

Pretty freaking amazing, right?

The truth is- you CAN transform your intimate life with the right guidance.

My clients experience it on the daily.

It is truly the gift that keeps on giving 🥰

Because if you take the leap? This could be YOU in 6 months..

But if you don't? You'll keep getting the same results you have right now...

Which do you prefer?

Your loving s*x and relationship Coach,

Amaya Shiva

Want to know EXACTLY how to tell if someone is interested in you?

I was talking with an incredible client the other day, and he said

“Amaya, I really want to know how to read women’s cues so I can know whether to approach them or not”

I replied

‘Wow, you are clearly a gentleman and I can feel how much you care about respecting women and helping them feel safe! Here is what you need to know..”

Now before I tell you what I told him I want to share something that might be hard to believe…

Before this work of becoming a relationship coach and everything it took to get here..

I used to be TERRIFIED of rejection.

And when I saw guys I found attractive, you know what I would do??

I WOULD LOOK AWAY!

Uh, yeah, not a very good way to have men approach you, is it?

Back to my story..

‘Here’s the BEST way you can know if someone is interested in you…

You ask them.

Yeah.

Not the mic drop you were hoping for?

Here’s the truth-

You DONT KNOW UNLESS YOU ASK!

Because men and women can get shy, introverted, and even hide when they are attracted to you- so there is only one sure fire way to find out the truth.

Yup.

That thing you’ve been avoiding…
Asking without knowing the outcome.

The only CUE you should be looking for???

Is the one that comes from YOU that says

“Hey! I’m attracted to that person and am curious to know more!”

The rest? Is not for you to control, my love.

Your loving relationship coach,
Amaya Shiva