Adoption Reunion Coaching

Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend will always be memorable for me.

Thirty years ago, this weekend, I first spoke to the woman who brought me into this world. I had always dreamed of meeting her.

Our reunion was emotional with a lot of speedbumps along the road. It wasn’t the smooth sailing “happily ever after” narrative portrayed on talk shows featuring first reunions between adoptees and their genetic parent(s) or family members.

After being rejected again six different times by my birth mother, I finally had enough.

I wanted off of this roller coaster ride that seemed to have me strapped into an unhealthy dynamic.

After meeting several paternal family members ten years ago, I felt happy and more complete. I felt I had new to me family members who accepted me and that I could build relationships with without being dragged down by secrecy, guilt, shame and anger.

Despite being open about our reunion early on, my birth mother seemed to have regressed on her stance about the relinquishment and adoption that she and I both experienced.

I wasn’t aware of the depth of the fear and secrecy she still carried.

The identity of who my birth father is was still a secret to most people in the small farming town I was born.

Even 45 years (now 55 years) later, it seems the paradigm of “What will the neighbors think” keeps her mind trapped in the past.

Which begs the question: At what point do secrets of the past outweigh the voice of truth the adoptee who is searching for their genetic relatives?

Should and adoptee take on the shame, fear, guilt, anger, trauma, etc. of a birth parent and remain silent about who and where the adoptee comes from?

From my adoptee perspective, I don’t think an adoptee should have to be silenced by what others think.

Mel Robbins teaches the “Let Them” theory. Let others think what they want.

The next step in the “Let Them” theory is “Let You.”

Let you be who you want to be

Let you strive to achieve what you feel you need to do to feel whole and happy and complete.

To me, this doesn’t mean to be an A-hole to others, but to allow you to explore through your inner wisdom what works for you on your journey of self-discovery.

I chose to cut ties with my birth mother because staying in contact with her was not emotionally fulfilling to me or my life anymore.

There was more conflict, chaos and potential emotional upheaval out of nowhere when I was in contact with her.

The final straw for me was when she messaged me that she had wanted to take down my photos of my paternal reunion from my own page because I used the last names of my paternal family.

Then she wrote: You should really think about other people’s feelings.”

Another message that I should be quiet and compliant and live by the expectations of others (mainly her) instead of celebrating meeting several of my blood relatives.

That didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t respond immediately in a state of anger or panic.

I waited a few days before I responded. Then I cut contact with her.

For me, this severance was for good.

By taking this step, I took back my own peace and serenity.

If a relationship enhances your life then it is likely healthy for you

If it drains you, then it’s likely not healthy and time to see if it’s best to walk away.

You don’t need to listen to thoughts of “Should’ve, Could’ve, or Would’ve”

You don’t need to buy into the narrative that you are responsible for how others think or feel because you are not.

You don’t need to make yourself feel guilty with your own low level thinking.

You just need to practice self-care and take care of yourself.

Thank you for reading. Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.

Daryn Watson

Today marks 29 years since my first phone call with the mother who gave me life.

Two days prior, I called information to get phone numbers of my biological relatives in the town I was born.

The operator gave me 3 phone numbers.

I was petrified to call.

What would happen next? What would I say?

Would I be rejected? 🤷‍♂️

I wrote in my journal and prayed about it. The message I received was to wait.

I didn’t want to wait but I did. I didn’t know how long I would have to wait.

Two days later, I spoke to an adoptee/search angel named Roy Kading. He was waiting for her to call him back.

Roy would not give me her number. He said “Don’t get your hopes up too high.”

I called my therapist and talked. Then I made dinner and I was resigned to go to sleep.

Suddenly the phone rang at 9 pm central time.

It was her.

“Hello Daryn, this is your real mother.”

I was floored. “Oh My God” was all I could keep saying to her.

We both began to talk and I cried. Her voice sounded familiar to me, even after 25 years of never meeting.

Our cal lasted about 90 minutes

Thankfully she shared who my birth father is and the circumstances as to why I was relinquished.

We exchanged contact info and agreed to stay in touch.

This was one of the most memorable experiences of my life.

We both like Rod Stewart.

“Forever Young” was her favorite Rod Stewart song.

I wanted to share the acoustic version with you

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful day‼️❤️🇨🇦

Rod Stewart Forever Young Acoustic version "May you never love in vain "......Beautiful version of a gorgeous song .

Just finished working 11 days in a row.

To quote David Letterman:

I have T.A.S.

Tired Ass Syndrome 😂🤣😴

29 years ago tonight I received my identifying info about my original name given to me at birth.

Thanks to newly opened adoption records in Alberta back in 1995.

I always knew my first given name was “Lyle.” I didn’t know my middle or last name.

I remember feeling numb as I opened the envelope from the government of Alberta.

Thankfully I was not alone. I attended my first ever Adoption Knowledge Affiliates meeting.

A search angel named Dee offered to put my identifying information on search websites on the internet. I agreed even though I was skeptical it would work.

I was sure wrong about the power of the internet nearly 3 decades ago.

My full name given at birth was:

“Lyle Richard Campion.”

My full name gave me an important piece to the hidden puzzle of who I came from.

The journey of discovering my genetic roots has been a long one but I am glad I chose to take that journey.

I thought this was a good article from an adoptive mother discussing the adoption industry’s unethical practices and speaking about the emotional trauma and challenges that happen when separating children from their biological families.

I willingly, joyfully adopted my sons from Paraguay. I would never do it again Rumors of stolen children adopted by unsuspecting parents circulated in international adoption circles for decades. And now a recent report confirms they're true. Nearly 30 years ago, Marjie Alonso adopted two boys from Paraguay. "I need to take a hard look at the families I dismantled to build my o...

33 years ago today I arrived in Austin, TX.

I was 21 years old and I was a lost soul who used alcohol and relationships as a way to numb the fear and pain inside of me.

My issues followed me to Texas. After a painful breakup 2 years later, I had the insight to quit drinking.

Soon after, I got into recovery for my relationship addiction. My life began to turn around slowly and I began a journey to discover authentic self.

It’s been an ongoing journey which continues today.

One interesting thing was I arrived in Austin on a Monday back in 1991 as it is a Monday today.

Our power went out as I was going to microwave some leftovers.

This has given me some time to reflect.

For those who I hurt by leaving, I am truly sorry for what I did. I try to make amends for my shortcomings even though I know I likely fall short in the eyes of some others.

I am thankful for the people who have touched me in my life and who have supported me. ❤️🫂

Thank you for reading.

Daryn

Excellent and insightful video about Jim Carrey's challenges with depression and his insightful journey of realizing he is okay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2RousymNt0

There’s Nothing To Do But Let Go - Jim Carrey On Depression Jim Carrey's powerful speech will leave you speechless as he discusses spirituality, depression, and letting go. One of the most inspiring speeches you'll he...

30 Signs you might be getting older...

www.yahoo.com

Time to move on again from an unhealthy relationship again (not my wonderful wife Christine).

Should have trusted my gut and not let down the drawbridge into my castle.

Adios (Go with God) again.

Rascal Flatts - I'm Movin' On Music video by Rascal Flatts performing I'm Movin' On. (C) 2001 Lyric Street Records, Inc.

Remembering Jamie Packer

Today marks 19 years since the tragic passing of my childhood friend Jamie Packer.

Jamie was born in England in 1970 and moved to Peace River at the age of 4 with his Parents Julian and Sue and his sister Becky.

Jamie loved theater, playing chess, hockey, soccer, volleyball and other sports. Golf was his favorite as he became a professional teaching golf pro and lived and worked in Sandpoint, Idaho.

I remember my Mom calling me a few days after Jamie’s passing. It was the day of his memorial service. I pulled my car over and cried.

Jamie lived life more fully than most people I know. He was gregarious and mischievous and he loved to have fun.

One thing I remember of Jamie was he was a friend to me in junior high when I was being bullied. We were not in the same home classroom but I would sometimes have lunch with him because I felt safe being around him. I was very thankful for his friendship.

We lost touch after high school. I called him in 1999 to let him know I would be in Montana. We had made plans to meet halfway to have lunch. Unfortunately, he was called into work and we never had lunch together. I think that was the last conversation we ever had.

I was able to attend a golf tournament in Jamie’s honor and to help support his wife and his three young children. It was an honor to see Jamie’s parents as well.

The amount of support from the residents of Sandpoint was amazing. Jamie was truly well loved, supported and missed by many.

I was able to see some of my classmates from Peace River during the tournament. I had the honor of golfing with Julian on the second day of the tournament.

Please keep your thoughts and prayers for Jamie’s family today as they remember him.

I miss you my friend.

Love

Daryn

As a landscaper, I learned years ago that there was nothing magical inside of water.

Water is simply a delivery system for nutrients.

As I’m learning the 3 Principles by Sydney Banks (Mind, Consciousness and Thought), I realized that our Thoughts are simply a delivery system for our own internal experiences. 🤓🤔🤯