Chai with Parul

Set yourself free.

💋Free of expectations of being a certain someone
💋Free to be your authentic self
💋Free to love and be loved

Freedom that comes from and is rooted in love for yourself and others is absolutely beautiful 🥰

Free yourself and listen to your deepest, divine self.

You are loved. I already love you fully and truly ❤️

Join me in connecting to your divine self to show up authentically in your relationships 🥰

Follow for more heart healing ❤️‍🩹

And I don’t mean it in a rude way.

But let’s look at this way: If you BELIEVE you are too much, everything you do, experience, and witness will prove this point. If you put your outlook on what you are on others, this mindset may shift. But in the end, you’ll always say “I was right, I am too much”….

*new blog alert* Continue reading - link in bio! 💋

We all have a monster inside of us.

Or at least, we THINK it’s a monster. This monster is very critical and mean. It doesn’t think we are good enough. It believes that we don’t deserve much.

But this monster isn’t really a monster. She is scared. He is fearful. They are not feeling safe.

And when those are the feelings of this inner being, of course they lash out. Of course they don’t believe anything can be better.

Caring for the inner monster, befriending it. That’s the single most important thing you can do.

You aren’t there to change her. You aren’t there to tell him that he’s crazy. You aren’t wanting to wish them away.

You MUST embrace them and come from a place of compassion and empathy.

That is the first step in your healing journey. You are the person this inner monster needs. Because then, it doesn’t become this scary monster. But a little kid, who just needs some love.

How will you show kindness to yourself today?

How do you feel knowing you have trauma?

And you do. Even if you think you don’t, you do.

You have trauma.

So, how do you feel about it? What comes into your head?

If you’re anything like me, or some of my clients:
- You may be resistant to accept this
- You may feel resentful that said thing happened
- You may wish your life was different
- You may wish the trauma away
Etc. etc.

We don’t WANT trauma. But trauma is there to PROTECT us. Your primitive brain is there to keep to alive and survive, it has NO IDEA what you are capable of, how worthy and amazing you are. So when it cannot handle something in its current state, it “creates” trauma.

Resisting this part of you is going to hold you back. You’re rejecting yourself. Rejecting a part of you that existed because it cares. It may not serve you anymore, sure. But it doesn’t know that yet.

You need to accept it first. Enjoy ALL parts of you.

To begin that journey, I have a FREE “How to Enjoy Being You” workbook. Link in bio 💋

Trauma rewires our experience the world.

As you all may or may not know about my approach to coaching is focusing on the intrinsic story and sensations. Because all circumstances are neutral. (If you haven’t heard this yet, hold your horses and hear me out).

To understand how and why you are guided in this world, you need to be your own cartographer. Mapping out the valleys, hills, and rivers of your life.

To do that, you need to understand that every circumstance (something that is happening outside your control) does not have power over how your view under you have a thought about it. We know this because not every single person will perceive every circumstance the same.

However. when we have trauma, our thoughts are not conscious enough. Our body learns that in order to survive a given situation, we need to have a quick response. And so the sensations in the body (our feelings/emotions) become instantaneous and we just react.

And even if you understand why you do something. That instinctual reaction (especially if it doesn’t serve you) is not helping you. Even though your brain may know something, your body (and heart) don’t so you tend to fall into the same patterns.

As my previous posts have said, we all have trauma. I want to challenge every one of you to SIT WITH THE FEELING that is triggered by something. It can be VERY unpleasant. But we want to train our minds to show that this feeling isn’t scary and that we will be ok.

(Obviously if you’re in an unsafe situation, please proceed accordingly. This is not an exercise to test fate, but to learn yourself better.)

If you want to dive deeper into your healing, please go to my link in bio and start with the free workbook on how to enjoy being you 😊

Empathy can be a trauma response

And look, I’m not saying empathy is bad. It’s good to have empathy, but to a certain extent.

These are phrases I’ve heard my fellow empaths say:
- THEY drain me
- I don’t want THEM to feel bad
- I can tell exactly what THEY are feeling
- I need to help/fix THEM or THIER situation

None of these (as you can tell my subtle emphasis) are about YOU. It’s all about THEM.

We tend to “take on” other people’s emotions in order to fix them, because negative emotions are hard. And “take on” others emotions when it’s nice cause it’s easier.

Empaths are constantly looking for OTHER PEOPLE and EXTERNAL CIRCUMSTANCES to help them feel emotions.

UNDERSTANDING is very different than taking them on. And that’s when empathy can be a superpower, instead of a super drainer.

Learning that YOU are amazing and perfect the way you can be the first awareness step. Head to the link in my bio for a FREE how to enjoy being you workbook

“Under the present and brutal conditions on this planet, every person you meet should be regarded as one of the walking wounded. We have never seen a man or woman not slightly deranged by either anxiety or grief, we have never seen a totally sane human being” - Robert Antonia Wilson

We are all traumatized. It changes our behavior, or instinct if you may, for our surroundings.

When there are triggers, that is an amazing opportunity for understanding. For acceptance.

Not necessarily about the situation, but what is going on for you, in your mind and body. Wayyy before you act on it.

This is a practice. And I want to explore with you aspects of this and how to slowly get in tune. Hope you can join me on this journey!

Happiest birthday to my (not so) little brother!!

Relationships aren’t just romantic ones. Familial, platonic, friendship. These are all different types of relationships and love.

With the 2 of us, how we express love to each other is very different. And the thing is, there isn’t any instance that I think he doesn’t love me. Regardless of us not talking for awhile, or us arguing, or anything else.

Because it’s all my decision. The feeling and understanding of love is very intrinsic. When he does something, I know it’s from love.

Because I’ve already decided.

And it doesn’t mean I let everything slide. It doesn’t mean I just take everything at face value. We still argue and get frustrated, but in the end it’s my decision (just as much as it’s his) on whether we know that it’s love.

Here’s to many more years of being pushy with all my woo (I did a tarot card reading for him today 😋) and him focusing on the science and facts. With all my love ❤️

P.S. he’s also an amazing artist! Give him a follow .art

HDB U.S.A. 🇺🇸

While it’s a day to celebrate Independence. It’s also a day to ask “what does it mean to be American?”

So much has happened this past year that it’s a question I think we all need to ask.

I’m brown skinned. Ethnically, I’m Indian. And my Nationality is American. I was born in California and have lived here my entire life.

While that makes me a citizen, what I believe makes someone “American” is acceptance. People migrated here in order to freely practice their religion and be who they are. To aspire to be something they didn’t think possible elsewhere.

But when that religion or dream isn’t the same in everyone, we judge. We scorn. We become afraid.

We are all so different, yet exactly the same.

While this day is about freedom of our country, ask yourself what you are doing to honor that freedom. In yourself AND for others.

Hugs and kisses! Love you all ❤️ 💋

Listen to your heart.

This doesn’t mean you’re “emotional” or aren’t “practical.”

Emotions literally drive our ENTIRE existence.

We do things because we want to feel a certain emotion. We don’t do things because we want to avoid certain emotions.

We say we are driven because we want to FEEL happy.

We do EVERYTHING based on an emotion. So why do you deny what you feel?

Why do you push it away and don’t let it see the light of day?

When we oppress our emotions, our heart, we lose emotional health. We lose the ability to be our authentic selves. We lose our ability to love easily; because everything is a transaction.

Emotional health is HUGE and is a foundation for all that I coach. Listen to what you’re body is telling you and understand it. Truly feel those sensations.

I challenge you to see what fear, discomfort, and joy all FEEL like in your body. We are all different, I’m curious on how you experience these.